Raunchy and Refreshing

1) Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
Ask your mother.
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2) How do you embarrass an archeologist?
Give him a tampon and ask him which period it came from.
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3) What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everybody at the party; A bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you.

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4) What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?
Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.

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5) What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
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6) What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
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7) What is the biggest problem for an atheist?
No one to talk to during orgasm.
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8) What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass?
A mechanic.
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9) Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.
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10) Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
The one who can eat that last donut.

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11) Jewish dilemma:
Free PORK.
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12) The three words men hate to hear most during sex:
"Are you in?"
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13) The three words women hate to hear most during sex:
"Honey, I'm home!"