It was a COLD morning, -10 degrees, and after 15 miles of towing the alum drift boat we finally made it to the river at day break and got it in the water.

As we were loading our gear in the boat, suddenly, I thought of the movie "A Christmas Story" (you know, "You'll Shoot Your Eye Out!")
The scene where his friend sticks his tonuge to the frozen flag pole? Yep, that one!

I looked at the cold, alum boat and said, "Hey Jeff, I bet you a dollar you won't touch the boat with your tongue"
Well, I didn't even have to use my Double Dog Dare.
He leanded over and stuck his tongue on the side of the boat. HE DIDN"T MOVE!!! IT WAS STUCK!!!
Well, the next thing I remember is seeing his head jerk back real hard and hearing the sound of flesh ripping
I laughed so hard... I pissed my pants!!!
Man, it took all day for his tongue to stop bleeding.
You know he even forgot about the dollar

I was fishing the Snoho with Sno-king in November a few years back. Brutally cold. A bankie was standing on some big rocks casting into Thomas Eddy. He was wearing just a T-shirt, which made us think his elevator didn't reach the top floor. He cast, he slipped, fell in, went completely under, crawled out, started casting again.......The cold then outweighed his bravado, he went home a few minutes later.

must have been a cougar fan, was it steelheadman?

I was fishing the N Fork Sky for Summer runs back in the 1970's . There is a stretch in a canyon that you have to walk around through the woods to get back to the river. When I got close to the river I heard a loud argument. I walked a little further down the trail and two gay guys were in a fight over who was going to collect fire wood. They went to blows and looked like a couple of girls slapping at each other and pulling each others hair. I laughed and kept on walking down the trail. When I walked out of the wooods and stepped towards the river I noticed a nice lookin naked women taking a bath in the river. She just stood there in all her glory with a big smile on her face and asked how the fishing was. All this within a couple of minutes of each other.

The King: Did you ever consider that the firewood was over by the naked woman and that was what they were fighting over?

True story: A game warden friend of mine saw several women fishing topless on the Middle Fork of the Snoqualmie. As he conducted "surveillance" he saw a guy he had ticketed many times before, casting a spoon and working his way toward the women. He stopped the spoon tosser and was able to ticket him for failure to pinch his barbs. The spoon tossers said, "Hell I wasn't even fishing, I just tied on the first lure I found and headed up river to get a look at those women."

I would have let him off but my friend did not.

Dave, Based on one of their outfits one wanted her wedding tackle so his close would fit better:-)

I should have also mentioned the many many fights I have seen at boat launches. The best are when the fish are in and everyone is in a hurry. Saw one at the Kirkland launch in the mid 80's during the Sockeye opener. One guy mouthed off to anther and he got laid out on the lauch. His two friends thought they should come to his rescue and they both got laid out by the oldtimer as well. He fired off his cigar and went fishing.

I spent this weekend looking for the first of the winter steelies.Ended up tangling with a bunch of hook nose silvers instead.Was an incredible three days.

Friday we did the mile hike into a favorite piece of water.I nailed 4 crhome bright silvers in a row.I steped out of the spot and told him to step in.Next cast he catches another fifteen+ silver and plays it to his feat.Just as he was ready to tail it remove the hook the lure come flying back at him.Perfect he says.Another cast bam he misses it.Another cast bam he misses one. Another cast bam he mises one.He finally looks down at his spinner and he has no hook![He bumed the first hook from me]After a little kidding I give him another hook.He casts and sticks another pig.Plays it for awhile and boom the lure comes back at him with out a hook!

I really do not know if he believes me when I say I did not do it on purpose.

Then there was the time I was puling down my now famous wool pants and my fishing lisence holder fell out of my pocket into a shiater on the Sol Duc.Think my friends did not have fun watching me fishing in the out house.I used my rod and a treble to snag it out of there!

Then there was the time that A sheriff droped me off at FOGGED IN house at three in the morning,drunk as a skunk.The look on his face was pricelesswhen I got out of the patroll car

I have a funny one, it was years ago about ’97 I think? First trip on the Nehalem, heading down river a few hundred yards below the launch pulling a decent line, anyway there was a log or something we had been bumping gear over all weekend, my buddy a older guy that has gout and has trouble hanging onto stuff once in awhile,

well I here Fish & SH!t all at once and I turn around to see his Loomis and Bantam going horizontal out of his hand and hitting the water, it laid there just about 6 inches under the water for a milla second, without thinking I tossed my rod on the floor and dove over the kicker and grabbed the rod,

I came up realing and setting the hook!, turned out his drop weight hung on the log and yanked the rod from his hand, it was late in the day and there were not to many boats still chugging around, I look back and laugh pretty hard, my buddy says you crazy nut as he is backing the sled up, I replied I always wanted a $450.00 dollar setup!.

We made a few more passes and I was pretty cold by then, so called it a day.
I still tease him about taking care of my rod.

Bud.

Ever taken a dump over a hornet's nest in the ground?

I live on Offut Lake near the boat launch and it seems that every year we either pull a boat and truck out or we get to watch the Thurston County Dive team come out and hook up a strap to a submerged truck to get towed out. Last year was the best yet. We pulled out 3 rigs and watched the divers pull out another. My buddies and I get bored sometimes so we get our fishin rods out and load them up with one ounce sinkers and have casting competitions. My friend just happened to forget he had little line left, so when he reared back and let go, we heard a loud crack and he just had this dumbfounded look on his face as his lead and last 30 yards of line sailed out into the lake. Needless to say he won that day.

Was fishing for hooknose in area 8.2 with Parker and Sok when a jerk cuts across our bow. Just when we started to yell at him we could see why he wasn't watching his wheel !

His lady fishing partner was giving him a "hummer"

Cigar

wasn't there a thread recently about how to clean your rod... :p

OK, I'll play...

Nisqually River, April of 1983. We were fishing a ways below McKenna, in an area called Upper Kahuna. (Awesome fishing with red/white spoons back then, but I digress) My cuz was hung over as you could get. At the trail head, about a half mile from the river, he proclaims "I gotta take a s##t"!!" "Well", i said, "Take some butt mop with you, in case." "Nah", he sez, "Ill be fine." Mind you, he was only wearing hip boots (no socks), jeans (no undies) and a flannel shirt (no t-shirt). You all know where this is going, right?

We get down to the river, and the bite is on. I hook a hot native, and there my cousin stands with that look on his face. I say, "Come here and help me land my fish" "I can't, I'm gonna s##t my pants!!! So off into the woods he goes, leaving me to fight and land the steelhead myself. Shortly, I hear a scream. The thin log he was perched on snapped, causing him to fall directly into his...well, you know. A bit runny, it was. I can just see this all transpiring from my rock point, with same fish still on. Now that he is laying backwards in the good stuff, which was in deep beach sand, now his backside and lower back is well "breaded" with last night's Schlitz Malt Liquor and sand. And ants. LOTS of ants. Anyone that has fished the Nisqually back in the day will testify to that.

So, let's recount...Fish on, cousin with pants down covered with sand, poop and ants, now yelling at me to givre him som sort of wiping fodder. NO TP, no socks, no t-shirt, no undies. "Give me your t-shirt"!!! Now, I'm laughing. Fish still on, he's waddling with his pants around his ankles down to the river's edge. He squats on a roc in shallow water and begins to splash river water on his butt, yelling to the heavens "Somebody help me!!!"

I'm done. The steelhead makes a final book for freedom and snaps my rod at the ferrule, I'm too paralyzed with laughter to get off my knees to care. Then, suddenly, out of the trail comes a fisherman! He stops in his tracks, looks downriver to see a naked man splashing water on his ass, then looks upstream to see a guy with a broken rod an his knees roaring in hysterics playind a steelhead. Without a word, he turned and left....

My cousin then proclaims to the myself and the world, "You better not tell anyone about this!!!Ever!!!"

Don't worry, man....heheheheheheh!!!!!!

Ah, memories...

About 15 years ago I was bank-fishing at Blue
Creek on the Cowlitz. It was late summer and the river was pretty low. A driftboat comes down the middle of the river with two passengers, one of which is standing on a seat or something in the back of the boat. The boat bumps a rock pretty hard lifting the guy in the boat 8-10 inches into the air, but when he came down the boat had floated past him leaving him standing in the middle of the river. Amazing that he landed on his feet and didn't slip or fall. About 30 yards down river his buddies realize he's gone and look back to see him hollering and waving! Lucky for him the guy on the stix was pretty strong and rowed back up the riffle and picked him up again STILL DRY!
I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't watched the whole thing.

in the mid 90's . it was august and really hot on the snoqualmie. I was laying on the bottom of the river breathing thru a long grass straw and watching the surface of the river...(my buds and i had a couple of cold ones and it was really hot) when we popped our heads above the water there were two girls with dreadlocks going by in a canoe, completely naked and completely dyed purple from head to toe with blackberry's. and this wasnt off in the middle of nowhere. it was about four hundred yards above the raging river

I'm not sure which is funnier someone laying on the bottom of the river breathing thru a straw or a couple of blackberry beauties...

:p

I know what you mean and trust me, we wernt sober..... but i swear on my life that we wernt seeing things either...damn that was a weird day!

many years back my dad and a buddy floated blue creek down........ so to the point we fished hard for the better part of the day at the bar on the other side of blue creek. right when we were getting ready to take off and head down river we herd this crashing sound comming down from the clay banks. 5-10 seconds go by since the first big boom, every one that was on the point starts scattering for their lives, then next thing you know theres a cow laying on the bank. the cow jumps up after laying there for 20-30 seconds jumps into the river and starts swimmin towards us on the bar. the dang cow was heading right for us like we were a fresh bail of hay. dad moves the boat down a little bit. the cown gets up on the bank and takes hugest bowl movement.......and on the otherside its cow tag on it's ear was #1 and you know what number one is number one no more as it runs off into the woods...............

waterboy

Sure, rivers are out so why not.

Back in the late 70's the Cow went out in November and never came back in - most all winter it was 3 inches vis if that, and the flow never got out of 5 digits. Of course people stayed off the river and the river filled up with fish. Along about late January there seemed to be more steelhead than rocks. You could catch them, but you had to fish in the backwaters and behind structure, and you had to use the biggest glow corky you could find with a huge gob of eggs.

Anyway, back then you could walk into the bar across from Blue Creek, and I did one rainy Saturday. I had the river entirely to myself except for one jet sled anchored upstream. The river was up in the trees where it had been for nearly 3 months, but there were fish everywhere - I actually was tripping over steelhead trying to find some open water - really tends to startle you when a 10 pound chromer erupts from the lee of the rock you just put your foot behind Anyway, I finally got to a patch of soft water behnd a big rock, made a couple of casts, and right away hooked up to a hog - tail about a foot wide was all I saw as it hauled me down river, got me around a cottonwood tree, and snapped me off. Well, as I was trudging back up against the current the one sled on the river roared down and anchored right on top of the rock I hooked that fish behind. Again, this was the only open patch of water surrounded by a flooded forest. I stood there for awhile, eventually asked if he would move down as that was the only spot I could fish, and he ignored me, winding up and casting with his spinning rod out into the main river where a steelhead would need to be nuclear powered to stay in place. Well, it was raining, the water was choppy, and I guess he slipped and lost his balance during a cast, because the next thing I saw was this cracker grabbing the gunnel and this pretty yellow spinning rod sailing out into 20 feet of fast water about 50 feet away from the boat. He got up real quick and looked around, I guess to see if anybody saw what he did. Well, I couldn't help it, I started laughing my a$$ off. I also hoped that he would finally get off my rock but nope, he picked up another rod, put a couple of treble hooks and a big gob of lead on it, and proceeded to "fish" for his lost rod. This thing was probably most of the way to Castle Rock by then but he never left my rock, just kept at it.

I finally got tired of the show and left, went over to talk to one of my buddys that worked at the trout hatchery. There was a warden with an enforcement boat parked out front, so I told him about a snagger I saw down off Blue Creek. In the boat goes, I have a cup of coffee with my bud, and about a half-hour later back comes the warden - said the cracker had some BS story about trying to fish out a rod he lost but he wrote him a ticket for fishing with illegal gear anyway - said there was no way the guy could be trying to retrieve a rod out in 20 feet of water flowing 20 MPH :p