I can't decide if Giada is super hot or a freak show. She has all of the cooking ingredients for being super hot, but her head and face are just so massive. Her body ratio is all outta wack and her smile scares me. The "plating" is off so-to-speak. I mean - don't get me wrong, I'd totally throw down, but that's only because I have poor standards. That doesn't exclude or exempt her from my above statements.

I'd actually smash Paula Dean too. All sweet, warm and fluffy like a southern biscuit with honey. But she's gonna have to keep me well feed at all times. That's the trade off.

Lastly, SPAM is [Bleeeeep!] delicious and I don't care what's in it. Jalapeno SPAM is a staple in my outdoor kit. Broodbuster and I carried in a 1/2 dozen cans 5 miles during archery Elk season an it was so worth the extra weight. Jalapeno SPAM and fresh Chanterelles all fried up in a skillet is a damn fine meal after a long day of hunting in the rain. Fvck you Mountain House!