Well, unfortunately, I have you all topped. Nothing like coming back from a vacation to put a damper on one's life. I just found out about this 30 minutes ago.

Left for a week of warmth and arranged multiple people to watch Boris for me. The person that was supposed to have first shift backed out at the last minute due to fear of not being able to get to/from my house. A co-worker with dogs offered to watch him instead.

Apparently, Boris had 2 unattended hours at their house the first evening. He first cleared everything off their kitchen counter and ate apples, whole garlic, and opened their breadbox and ate all their bread. Then proceeded to crap ALL over their house.

From there, he moved on and destroyed 2 cordless telephones and pulled out 2 phonebooks and shredded them to nothing. After that, he moved on to every wicker basket in their house and turned all the wicker into 1 inch pieces. Fortunately, they had no wicker furnature.

When they arrived home to find the destruction, Boris bolted towards the remaining wicker for further destruction. The husband grabbed Boris by the collar to stop him but apparently Boris has gotten big and strong because he straight-up broke the man's hand. X-Rays, missed work, no driving, etc. Later, when they let him outside, he came back to the door, jumped on the screen and tore it right out. I'd imagine with all the damage he caused there, it is likely they forgot to mention the small stuff.

Besides all that, he has ripped out the center brake light in the back of my SUV, chewed off the wires that run the rear defroster, and has taken out 1/2 the fabric on the back of my SUV rear seats.

Let's not talk about fishing rods.

Currently feeling shell-shocked.

-AP