15 years ago, the air pollution cops sent me a warning letter for an illegal fire. Only problem was, I wasn't home for a day before and two days after the time when they said the fire was burning. I lived at the end of a long driveway and the folks to the south of me had a fire going all the time so their smoke drifted through the trees near my house.

I called the air pollution folks and got a response that this was just a warning and they wouldn't fine me until the next time I misbehaved. Sure enough, neighbors burned during a burn ban while I was at work and I got a ticket in the mail. I would never pay them a fine and a letter from my attorney settled the matter though it cost more than any fine. Basically, they were too lazy to drive up my driveway and see if smoke was coming from my chimney.

The third time, the fine was larger but I could prove I was at work from 6AM until 8PM and the chimney chick wrote the ticket at 3PM. Talking reasonably with those people was fruitless so back to my attorney who was getting pretty happy with the situation by then. The problem was not resolved until new tenants moved in to the house next door and they had enough sense not to burn during a burn ban.

Since then, I've moved and have no adjoining properties breaking the rules. It has been a while but these folks were truly the most unreasonable government agency I've ever dealt with.