Besides the excellent synopsis given by Steelspanker, the problem is the fact that you are SO full of [Bleeeeep!]. You seem to believe a lot of it so you are technically delusional.

Now you are talking about how it isn't worth working in Seattle for x amount because of where you live but you've repeatedly talkies about all the people that would hire you in second for amazing hourly wages.

I understand there are a lot of a'holes here but you must admit that many here have tried to help you. You continually bring up your dad and when you do, it is apparent that his death emotionally killed YOU. Given that, do you really want to go through the rest of your life like that? Talk to others that have been through it and ask them how they made it through difficult times and progressed. Take some of that expensive stuff you're always talking about and sell some of it. Use that money for some counseling. It may seem like a waste of money but it sure beats wasting your life by having things bog you down.

When people try to help you, let them. When an expert offers to fix your car problems, follow through and do it. One thing leads to the next and to the next but right now, you seem dead in the water and need to get the ball rolling.

I do wish you luck.