10 years off and on again and I jump right back into that fiery pit of despair if I hadn’t intentionally burned that bridge this time. I think of it like an addiction to heroin (not that I’d know)... the highs are super natural and the lows are all-consuming. I just had to get away.

They are CRAZY tho. It just isn’t good for me. Worth it? Absolutely. I just can’t lie to myself anymore that she is capable of being normal.


BTW She doesn’t cook.

Way too over simplyfied response, but do what makes you happy.

Spam. Slice it thin. Fry it crispy. Toast some sourdough. French's yellow mustard. Don't be a puss eat that shizz

Calm down old man. I don't think anyone here is suggesting that SPAM should replace fresh bacon. That would be foolish, illogical and nonsensical. These are words I'd like to think you'd understand, but considering your exhaustive posting history, I'm not so sure, so I'll put it in terms you can understand.

We can all agree that fresh homemade applesauce is pretty sublime correct? But sometimes the "cooks" in your "home" don't have the ingredients or time to make it for you, so you get Motts instead. Motts is a perfectly acceptable substitute for you to gum on. Not as great as fresh of course, but it's good enough after a long, hard day yelling at the clouds. The syphilis has killed off your taste buds anyway, so just dig in and zip it.

Get it now? OK good. Now grab a steel plate and get back in-line before we are forced to call Nurse Ratchet and her magical syringe. After lunch, we'll be playing Chutes & Ladders and Hi-Ho Cherry-O with the ladies from C Wing. Winner gets an extra cup of Motts at dinner. Better bring your A game, because ol' Ruthie and Dorothy are stone cold ringers.

I eat tuna.
Even with Ketchup.

I think Hank missed one of Spam's key attributes. Spam will never replace bacon cuz, well nothin's better than bacon. But even as a smoked meat item, bacon has to be refrigerated. So as a camp food, bacon is only good for shorter hikes. Spam is canned, and does not need refrigeration. So Spam is perfect for camping; it'll keep forever. And no one goes camping that long, what with deer and elk season combined being only a few weeks long. And Spam is even available in small slice packages, so you can cook it up out in the woods, bait a bear, and not have an empty tin can to pack out.

And Avid had it close, except no French's yellow mustard ever never! Yuck, what putrid stuff. Have some class, man. Every classy camp box is equipped with Plochman's stone ground mustard, which has a bit of horseradish, making it the perfect accompaniment to Spam and damn near any kind or piece of camp meat. Except bacon, of course. No civilized person uses mustard on bacon.

Well played. I kinda leaned into that one.

Hank doesn't know anything about camp food because he's a pussy city boy.

Rumor has it for makin bacon Hank uses Spam in the palm of his hand and then wears the can as a hat.

OK - I rarely blush, but that one but me over the top. LMAO you dirty ol' bassturds. Well done.

Only if you bring a can of Vienna sausages. Hanker won't eat SPAM but he'll gobble up your Vienna sausages with a quickness. It's not that he doesn't like the taste of SPAM, it's because its shape is not in the usual and accustomed form which he so readily accepts. He'll really love you if you pick up one of those gigantic Hickory Farms summer sausages. He'll even leave one of those Strawberry candies on your pillow upon exit.

Hankster has gone vegetarian.
He prefers oil simmered zucchini, with warts, and a large gourd end.
Kinda reminds him of his days at the thoroughbred farm less the preservatives of course.

Don't try and act like you made that,and that your kitchen looks even remotely that clean and nice.

I would do bad things to that sammich. It looks like it has some sort of chutney or relish. Maybe some sort of a savory tomato or pepper based concoction. Regardless...get in ma' belly.

Broodbuster accidentally spilled SPAM grease on the ground directly in front of my tent during early Archery season. I made him dig the soil out!

Dude, SPAM grease is an industrial-grade lubricant. You should have sequestered it in case of societal collapse. I get where you're coming from, though - it definitely doesn't belong in the entrance area of any housing unit at all.

The only bears Hank has to keep an eye out for over his shoulder are the ones from Sausalito issuing reach arounds.

I'd wager Hank keeps TWO eyes out for those kinda bears. Gaydar pinging 24/7.

I saw on a documentary once that those kinda bears are attracted to fresh sourdough and sweaty old man butt. I think it was narrated David Attenborough.

The art of deflection -By Hank

Do you even fish,bro?