Patrice was the best. Loved him on opie and Anthony.

I kinda know that already bruddah. I can't put a woman on the pedestal when I'm already standing on it can I?

We all have flaws. Her flaws just didn't jive with my flaws. No harm, no foul. She's a really, good solid person - we just wanted different things outta life and outta partners. I probably dated her for too long, mostly because she was a load of fun. She is one of the very few women that has a true sense of humor....like a man. 99.9% of women are just terrible at humor and comedy. She was like Joan Rivers quality humor and that was pretty hot. She made some jokes that made even me blush - which is next to impossible.

Mostly she HATED kids and dogs and I wanted to get sober and she didn't, so there you go.

So she was fun

Now I'm curious what Robyn looks like. She sounds like the white buffalo.

This is like Dr. Phil, but for arseholes. I'll play along and I do digress....

7 years old than me. WA born, but long time LA girl at heart. Tall thin blond w/ long hair. No kids - married once long ago. Cat lover and dog + kid hater. Late 40's then, but early 50's now. Was smoking hot in her 20's & 30's, but weren't we all? Ex-80's big hair rocker - favorite person in the world is Brett fvckin' Michaels. Tanned too much earlier in life and it shows now with age (cue Rod Stewart). Really, really liked her wine - probably too much. Marathoner, fit, fun. Loved Seahawks football. Selfish. Wicked funny.

Just yer' typical Woodinmilf.

Have fun processing all of that Acid. We all look forward look forward to your analysis.

She sounds absolutely incredible....hates dogs and kids! Does she hate sky fairies? Loves cats....wow....

Can't tell if serious or not. Cats are awful and I'm deathly allergic. I'd like to still have a family - if that's even still possible. Kids and dogs are where it's at.

Fvck anyone that hates dogs. No chick is hot enough to tolerate that level of bullsh!t.

How do you hate dogs? The fvck?

I love all dogs, well except one, huck the fuskies.

Dogs bark, schit in lawn, smell bad, and are fvckin needy. Cats are better. My cat plays fetch with a ball better than any of my neighbor dogs, doesn't need constant affirmation, and doesn't schit all over.

It's possible, not very probable to have kids and family in mid 40's. I know a dude in his early 50's that just married a 35yo, neither had been married and they are planning a family, so it's most certainly possible for you.


I do love my Dawgs though......

I guess I have to be the one to go Evo and nit-pick this, that is the Shining, not Psycho.

Proving as he often complains of here, according to us, he does always do it wrong.

I know right! Hatin' on dogs is like, the #1 most flagrant red flag that's even possible.

I remember one time going out to dinner, we got seated next to a young family with 2 - 3 kids. They were all very nice and well behaved at their table. A really cute & happy young family. But the kids were "too close" to us, so we HAD to move a few tables over. Fookin' really? REALLY??? Made my blood boil, but I zipped it to keep the peace. The end was nigh at that point.

Fellas - I'm single because I don't fuckin' play. I grew up with ALL women. Sisters, mom, step-mom and all 1st and 2nd cousins were girls. I am literally the only male in my extended family. A couple of ex-fiances and lots of ex girlfriends. I know all of the tricks, scams and manipulations and am probably too smart for my own good and to my current own detriment. I was born and molded into this pain. I'll give a ton, my fair share and will be flexible and fluid throughout. A rock. But there are just some things that this dude just can't abide.

The rules as follows:
1. No hatin' on dogs
2. No hatin' on kids
3. No spitting of my vitamin love
4. Must have above average sammich skills without the need for aid or instruction
5. WILDCARD BONUS ROUND: A rich dad who's "the bestest daddy in the whole wide world!".

Single moms. Ok - at 44, I've come to admit that the odds are getting longer on finding an attractive single gal that doesn't already have kids, that still wants to have kids (the unicorn). So, I've reduced my standards to include single mothers as long as they meet the follow criteria. These standards shall never waiver:

1. No single moms with multiple baby daddies. Full send OUT!
2. Your relationship with your ex must meet the following criteria:
a) Your ex is so fookin' cool and we'd get along so well, that we can have beers and bbq and be just fine. A dude I'd want hang out with if'n it wasn't just for the shared kids. This is the situation I'd hope for because it would be best for the kid(s) and their dad and mom. And by default me. Happy Happy.
B) 100% completely out of the picture. Dead, prison for life or ran off to Thailand with a young lady-boy. Don't care. Permanently gone.
*** There is to be no in-between these 2 standards. Anything inside of these upper and lower spec limits is nothing but pain and drama and more pain. This is the no go zone.
3. Wants more kids. I wouldn't mind pumping out a spawn or two of my own. I owe the world a fvck you or two anyways.

i know exactly what fvckin movie it is, and knew exactly what i was doing....

next....

Well then, now you know how you sound when do that.

So maybe don't do that anymore.

That'd be nice.

Nah..........Charter Boats no bueno

Nap, in all seriousness I think you have a great outlook and standards with your situation.

Nick, at 44 you're thinking about "pumping out a spawn or two"? Nice, when you're getting your hip replaced 20 years from now, they can stop by and see you before they graduate from HS. Your kids' friends will ask if you are their grandfather.

And the new gal's ex? A cool dude to hang out with? If they were cool they wouldn't have split with the gal. Here's how it goes....they don't pay child support or if they do, it's late. They pull dick moves constantly and the ones who get the shaft are usually the kids. Believe me, I know.

Dog hater ? Automatic OMIT !

I know it too and have also been there and done that. That's why there is no in-between the spec limits. The high end, while exceptionally rare, does exist.