I think I've renamed half of everyone on the DS. Frank was my crowning achievement, however, id rather him stay gone...lol

Fvckyou I have to live with it. 3rd wheel dinners in my own home are fookin' awkward. I flip chit, but it's fine really otherwise I'd pull the plug.

The real trick is to play "accidental" nature boy just one time. That stops chit dead cold in the water.

Oh....and your own personal murder army of highly trained Crows. Crows are fantastic! I'm getting to be an old man. I'm not sleeping anyway.

I couldn't help but think about Nick when I heard this song.
At least I wasn't in the shower.

Nick is a more sophisticated chickenfvcker.

I'm equal opportunity here. Of course I'll go as high brow as possible, but water seeks it's own level, so...uh....there's that.

My crows are getting pretty dialed into our routine now and are very happy when I show up. I shake their little dog dish of kibble and they are right there in an instant. Still no shiny trinkets though. We'll need to work on that.

My chix are pretty much fully grown now I think more or less. Eggs should start showing up in about 1 - 1.5 months. LeRoy is a well practiced crowing machine now....from sunrise to sunset. He's only got about another month or so while he fills out a bit, then it's a chop chop here and chop chop there....

So he'll be joining Colonel Sander's army?

Yep! It looks like Toof and his gal are going to take care of business for me. I guess she needs to learn about killin' things and get some first hand experience in said endeavors. This is a very good thing. LeRoy will make a fine dinner for Toof and gal. Happy to share and I welcome anyone that needs to learn where meat comes from.

All I ask in return is that Toof's gal ties up a 7x7 elk to a tree for me. I firmly believe that she can do it! If'n you knew Toof's gal, you'd know that she is amazing and can probably do anything she really wanted, including tying up a dandy elk!

I'll let her know...and while she's pretty amazing at a lot of things, I don't think she's ever tied up an elk before...but I wouldn't put it past her.

Fish on...

Todd

Not an elk, but a 3 point blacktail was in the yard the other day chomping on the sacrificial red twig dogwood that the deer really love. He's a dandy specimen, so I chained him to a fence post and plan to feed him rolled oats and barley from now until the September archery season. I haven't bought a hunting license or deer tag cuz I plan to claim that I'm just defending my yard and garden from predator damage. If that's a problem, alternatively maybe Nick would come put an arrow through him.

Absolutely! Better not temp fate.

Please get back on your meds.

Went out this morning to find a racoon had killed the chickens and one duck. One duck is still alive, but injured.

I may need to hire Rich and his mercenaries to hunt the racoon down and dispatch it.

That group of bikers did wonders in the chop zone, Rich should be able to bring them too.

On second thought, he may already have a Bigfoot monitoring this area for Qanon. They may already know of this and be taking measures to handle it.

Just post on Facebook that you saw on Reddit a reputable quote from 4Chan that someone told someone's cousin that QAnon said there was going to be an Antifa rally in your chicken coop.

You'll have six fat stupid clowns dressed like they bought their outfits from the classifieds in Soldier of Fortune surrounding your coop by dusk.

You'll have to accept the fact that at least one of them will shoot himself in the foot, so have bandages handy, and they'll probably leave a bunch of Chik-fil-A wrappers all over your yard along with Coors Light and White Claw cans...but you'll have chickens, until one of them decides to eat one, and they all feeding frenzy on the entire coop.

At the end of the, same result, only much more entertaining.

Fish on...

Todd

I need to thank Rich, they were on top of this immediately, I now feel much safer in this scary world knowing professionals like these have My back.

His group delivered the offender this morning, it had returned to the scene of the crime.

Anybody have a good recipe?

Sorry to hear about your girls. I'd go medieval if any critters got near my flock. Glad to hear you got the perp. They are greedy little bassturds and will often come back to the scene of their crime. Sorta like Dan hanging out in the looky-loo crowd during a big 5 alarm fire. "Hey everyone - what's going on? I hope they catch the guy that did this".

I do have a simple beer marinated coon recipe. It's really easy...
1. Buy a (6) pack
2. Drink (1) beer
3. Toss coon out in the woods.
4. Drink remaining (5) beers

I had a bowl of coon stew down south and it was alright. Coon meat reminds be a bit like a cross of bear and pork. Fatty, dark, stringy meat. It didn't have any crazy or weird flavor - just tasted like game meat stew. I had to gag just to get the bowl down because of knowing what it was. Moonshine helps wash it down.

I knew a guy who grew up eating coon stew.

ODRVR - you know this already, but be wary of any Coons you see out during daylight hours. Pop and handle em' from a distance. Day coons are generally bad news bears.

Todd shot the nattiest, mangy Chupacabra looking song dog last year during deer season. This thing was the single most disgusting wild animal I've ever seen in person. Puke worthy. So what did Todd do? He picked it up and carried it back to camp and chucked it on the ground right outside the camper. WTF dude!?!? Why would you even touch it, plus I had my dogs in camp. I literally insisted that we burn the actual ground with gas before I let my dogs out of the camper. They laughed at me, but yeah, burn that chit off. Twice just to be certain. Christ.

I just started on Nick's first marinade recipe.

I'll let you know how good it is this afternoon.

If it doesn't work I'll try doing it again later today.

It can be hard to get every nuanced detail of a new recipe right on the first try.

The key step is to get the timing between beer 5 and 6 just right. You if you get that step wrong, the whole recipe can turn to chit in a hurry.

Todd btw....you need to make plans to come deal with LeRoy mid-August or about month from now. He could go now if'n you wanted, I'm just trying to put some weight on him for you and let some tying feathers fill out a bit. He's got a real nice cape for not being a special tying breed. Nice, decently long thinner width hackles in two toned buckskin outer with a darker brown center. He'll tie nice flies for size 8 - 12 brown hackle anything.

He must be gone before Sept 1st - so work it out eh.

We'll manage that easily enough...I'll have my girl start sharpening her hatchet now

You can have the feathers.

Fish on...

Todd