#126238 - 11/11/01 01:08 PM
Time for the Apple Cup joke thread
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Returning Adult
Registered: 03/10/00
Posts: 347
Loc: West of Eden
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A Husky alum wants his son to go to UW, but the son's IQ is too high. Since the alum really wants his son to be a Husky he agrees to test an IQ-reducing machine. The Husky scientist explains to the father and son that the machine is experimental and has never been tested. The chance for his son to be a Husky makes the risk acceptable to the alum. They strap the son into the machine and turn it on. His IQ starts dropping. 130...110...100...90...80...70...60... When the scientist flips the OFF switch, nothing happens. The son's IQ keeps dropping. 40...30...10...0...-10...-20. The scientist finally pulls the plug and stops the machine. The alum runs to his son and screams, "Son, say something!" The son looks him right in the eye and says, "Go Dawgs!" :p
[ 11-11-2001: Message edited by: Chuckn'Duck ]
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Chasing old rags 500 miles from home.
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#126239 - 11/11/01 01:15 PM
Re: Time for the Apple Cup joke thread
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River Nutrients
Registered: 03/15/99
Posts: 4166
Loc: Poulsbo, WA,USA
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What's the difference between Jim Laimbright and Don James? One was fired, the other quit after he got caught cheating.
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I'd Rather Be Fishing for Summer Steelhead!
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#126240 - 11/11/01 02:48 PM
Re: Time for the Apple Cup joke thread
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Washington Husky. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Huskies too. No one really knowing what a Washington Husky was but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not a Husky." "Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?" "Why,I'm a proud Washington State Cougar," boasts the little girl. The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She ask Kristen why she is a rebel. "Well, my mom and dad are Cougars, so I'm a Cougar too." Theteacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?" A pause,and a smile."Then," says Kristen, "I'd be a Husky."
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#126241 - 11/11/01 02:49 PM
Re: Time for the Apple Cup joke thread
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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A guy walks into a bar down on the UW campus and orders a GrapeNehi. Surprised, the bartender looks around and says "You ain`t from around here... where you from, boy?". The guy says, "I`m from Ohio" The bartender asks, "What do you do down in Ohio?" The guy responds, "I`m a taxidermist." The bartender asks, "A taxidermist... what the hell is a taxidermist?" The guy says "I mount dead animals." The bartender smiles and shouts to the whole bar, "It`s OK boys, he`s one of us."
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#126242 - 11/11/01 04:28 PM
Re: Time for the Apple Cup joke thread
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It all boils down to this - I'm right, everyone else is wrong, and anyone who disputes this is clearly a dumbfuck.
Registered: 03/07/99
Posts: 16958
Loc: SE Olympia, WA
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You know what UW alums and WSU alums have in common? They were ALL accepted at WSU.
And the best one of all.
Hey, did you hear the Cougs WON a Rose Bowl? Hahahahhahhahahahahahaha! Oh, that one is rich.
_________________________
She was standin' alone over by the juke box, like she'd something to sell. I said "baby, what's the goin' price?" She told me to go to hell.
Bon Scott - Shot Down in Flames
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#126243 - 11/11/01 05:31 PM
Re: Time for the Apple Cup joke thread
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Smolt
Registered: 09/14/01
Posts: 94
Loc: America
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Dear Abby:
I am a grease monkey in the United States Army stationed in Fort Lewis. My parents live in Bellingham and one of my sisters, who lives in Renton, is married to a Islamic Fundamentalist. My Father and Mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in SeaTac.
I have two brothers, one who is currently serving a non-parole life sentence at Washington State Penitentiary in Walla Walla, for the rape & murder of a teenage boy in 1994, the other currently being held in the King County Regional Justice Center on charges of incest with his three children.
I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in Fife and indeed is still a part time "working girl" in a brothel; however, her time there is limited as she has recently been infected with an STD. We intend to marry as soon as possible and are currently looking into the possibility of opening our own brothel with my fiancee utilizing her knowledge of the industry working as the manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, at least it would get them off the streets and hopefully off the heroin.
My problem is this: I love my fiancee and look forward to bringing her into the family and of course I want to be totally honest with her.
Should I tell her about my cousin who graduated from Washington State University?
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#126244 - 11/11/01 07:50 PM
Re: Time for the Apple Cup joke thread
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Returning Adult
Registered: 03/10/00
Posts: 347
Loc: West of Eden
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Ouch!!! That second one of Dan S.' smarted! Try this one... Three Huskies were sitting by the side of Lake Washington holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden came up behind them, tapped them on the shoulder and said, "Excuse me, but I'd like to see your fishing licenses." "We don't have any." replied the first Husky. "Well, if your going to fish, you need fishing licenses," said the Game Warden. "But officer," replied the second Husky, "we aren't fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river." The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against that," said the Game Warden, "take all the debris you want." And with that, the Game Warden left. As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three Husky started braying hysterically. "What a dumb Fish Cop," Buster said to the other two; "doesn't he know there are steelhead in this lake?!"
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Chasing old rags 500 miles from home.
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#126245 - 11/11/01 07:54 PM
Re: Time for the Apple Cup joke thread
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Returning Adult
Registered: 12/06/99
Posts: 419
Loc: Seattle
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Husky Football Practice Delayed > > Husky football practice was delayed this morning for nearly two hours when one of the players, while on the way to the locker room happened to look down and noticed a suspicious looking, unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head Coach Rick Neuheisel immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the players was actually the GOAL LINE. Practice resumed when the FBI Special Agents decided that the team was not likely to encounter the substance again. > > > > It's APPLE CUP time.... > > Go COUGS
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Teach your kids, Ever wonder why Noah didn`t just slap them 2 mosquitos????
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#126246 - 11/11/01 09:27 PM
Re: Time for the Apple Cup joke thread
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It all boils down to this - I'm right, everyone else is wrong, and anyone who disputes this is clearly a dumbfuck.
Registered: 03/07/99
Posts: 16958
Loc: SE Olympia, WA
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LOL! Those were good, guys! I love a Coug who can dish. It's been too long since the Apple Cup was this big. The Cougs are ridin' high, playin' tough, and handling the challenges very well. Next challenge is coming through Montlake. I'm going to hit the river, spank a fish like it's a Coug, then I'm going to settle in and see if the Dawgs can redeem themselves, or if the Cougs will get to say "scoreboard" for a year. It doesn't get much better than that!
_________________________
She was standin' alone over by the juke box, like she'd something to sell. I said "baby, what's the goin' price?" She told me to go to hell.
Bon Scott - Shot Down in Flames
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#126248 - 11/12/01 05:26 PM
Re: Time for the Apple Cup joke thread
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Juvenille at Sea
Registered: 12/25/99
Posts: 150
Loc: Everett, WA USA
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A Coug game is on regional TV (token gesture by ABC) so a Coug alum takes his dog and heads to the Sports Bar. Bartender: "Hey get him outta here, we don't allow dogs." Coug Alum: "Give him a chance, he's a special Sports Bar dog..watch him as the game goes on." The Cougs are getting dominated, but finally they hold the other team for no gain. At this point, the dog does three backflips, chugs a beer, and lands squarely on the bar stool. The bartender is impressed and agrees that the dog can stay. The game goes on and in the third quarter, the Cougs finally get a first down. The dog runs down the bar counter giving "high fives" to all the bar patrons. Everyone loves the dog. Bartender: "That's amazing...what does he do when the Cougars score a touchdown?" Coug Alum: "I don't know..I've only owned him for four years."
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#126249 - 11/12/01 05:35 PM
Re: Time for the Apple Cup joke thread
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Returning Adult
Registered: 12/06/99
Posts: 419
Loc: Seattle
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Man, you husky fans hit below the belt... A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a Husky joke?" The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm 6' tall, 200 lbs., and I am a UW alumni.The guy sitting next to me is 6'2 tall, weighs 225, and he's a UW alumni. The fella next to him is 6'5 tall, weighs 250, and he's a UW alumni. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?" The first guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it 3 times [ 11-12-2001: Message edited by: rainycity ]
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Teach your kids, Ever wonder why Noah didn`t just slap them 2 mosquitos????
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#126250 - 11/13/01 11:28 AM
Re: Time for the Apple Cup joke thread
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The Renegade White Man
Registered: 02/16/00
Posts: 2349
Loc: The Coast or the Keys !!!
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What's a Cougar grad to to a Husky Grad, Would you like fries with that order!!!!! Peace Superfly and Remember all dirt roads lead to Pullman!
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360-888-7772
Stay Tuned for upcoming Hunts & Fishing info...........
New website & Channel Dropping soon !
Stay tuned for Turkey, Bear & Deer Hunts Along with Guided Sport Fishing.
Book Release Prior to Christmas 2021
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#126251 - 11/13/01 12:10 PM
Re: Time for the Apple Cup joke thread
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Juvenille at Sea
Registered: 09/28/00
Posts: 238
Loc: Kapowsin, Wa
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Do you know how to save a Cougar from drowning?
Good.
_________________________
The vet said I should get my dog fixed. I didn't realize he was broken.
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#126252 - 11/13/01 12:43 PM
Re: Time for the Apple Cup joke thread
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The Renegade White Man
Registered: 02/16/00
Posts: 2349
Loc: The Coast or the Keys !!!
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What's a Cougar grad to to a Husky Grad, Would you like fries with that order!!!!! Peace Superfly and Remember all dirt roads lead to Pullman!
_________________________
Facebook/Superfly Guides
360-888-7772
Stay Tuned for upcoming Hunts & Fishing info...........
New website & Channel Dropping soon !
Stay tuned for Turkey, Bear & Deer Hunts Along with Guided Sport Fishing.
Book Release Prior to Christmas 2021
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#126253 - 11/13/01 02:18 PM
Re: Time for the Apple Cup joke thread
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Spawner
Registered: 09/28/01
Posts: 965
Loc: Seattle, Washington
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A guy goes into a butcher shop. Behind the glass case are several varieties of college student brain for sale. The price board on the wall behind the case indicated the following:
PLU student brain - $1.99 / lb. CWU student brain - $2.95 / lb. WSU student brain - $2.24 / lb. UW student brain - $14.95 / lb.
The guy understood the first three prices, but he was flabbergasted by the price of the UW student brain. When the guy questioned the butcher on the apparent price discrepancy, the butcher replied, "Buddy, don't you know how many UW students it takes to get a pound of brains?"
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#126254 - 11/13/01 09:09 PM
Re: Time for the Apple Cup joke thread
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River Nutrients
Registered: 03/15/99
Posts: 4166
Loc: Poulsbo, WA,USA
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Hey Chuck n'Duck I think it is a shame the way you pick on the Huskies. After all it was a Husky engineer that invented the toilet seat.
Of course a WSU engineer improved the design and cut a hole in the middle.
_________________________
I'd Rather Be Fishing for Summer Steelhead!
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#126255 - 11/13/01 09:11 PM
Re: Time for the Apple Cup joke thread
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River Nutrients
Registered: 03/15/99
Posts: 4166
Loc: Poulsbo, WA,USA
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What is the difference between a Husky Coach and a catfish?
One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.
_________________________
I'd Rather Be Fishing for Summer Steelhead!
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#126256 - 11/13/01 09:18 PM
Re: Time for the Apple Cup joke thread
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River Nutrients
Registered: 03/15/99
Posts: 4166
Loc: Poulsbo, WA,USA
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Four alumni were fishing in a canyon one day. Each was from a different NW school, and each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater. As they fished, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They continued to argue all the way up on a rock high above the river. As they reached the top, the OSU Beaver hurled himself off the mountain, shouting, "This is for OSU!" as he fell to his doom. Not wanting to be outdone, the OU Duck threw himself off the mountain, proclaiming, "This is for U of O!". Seeing this, the Cougar walked over and shouted, "This is for WSU!", and threw the Husky off of the rock.
_________________________
I'd Rather Be Fishing for Summer Steelhead!
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#126257 - 11/14/01 05:05 PM
Re: Time for the Apple Cup joke thread
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Spawner
Registered: 05/09/00
Posts: 915
Loc: Osprey Acres /Olympja
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great post....except the shot at the Dawg Father If two WSU grads get Divorced......are they still brother and sister what are the toughest 4 years on a Coug.....3rd grade......more to follow......Os
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[/b]The less I give a [Bleeeeep!] the happier I am[/b]
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