Stew :p

Not bad Fooled, I mean Spooled. For an ifish cracker anyway. ...

Since something that is so obvious to me seems to have conveniently escaped the grasp of your 'challenged' minds, Dan and Troy, let me finally point out some facts to you two. >>>

Since flotillas help the esteem of guys needy in that department (the ladies aren't in need, right M?), with my esteem already firmly intact and my heart being of the color gold, I let a few guys catch a fish in those little events - right from the first one (I purposely long line released my Tad fish at F1 ). And at F3 I had some cracker crumbs in my boat. The only other one I went to was the just completed one at the 'Sop, in which I was the only one to hook an adult steelhead nearby - when Mike went to net it I waved him off so I could yank the hook out (Marsha can verify) so other's could feel better about themselves again. Don's were a half hour away in an essential holding pond. I had other committments during F2 and F3.5, otherwise I would have mopped up where I used to guide on the Clackamas, but would have released my fish out of your sight; in keeping with my golden heart theme. As you can plainly see in posts here, it really boosts the other guys up off the 'esteem ground floor' for awhile. Now, is that a cool thing to allow, or what?!? It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

What's that you guys say? Oh, you doubt that and need some evidence. Geeez. OK.

It's so obvious though! Go back and read how I just whupped on several Wassie 'top guns' outside of flotillas (they will admit it). And notice that under the pressure of the TV cams during the filming of outdoor cable shows I come thur in the clutch. First show, at the first hole, I get 3 steelhead on, landing 2 of them on Scott's cam, before any of the other 3 guys hook one; even before such as First Cast Jig's top gun Mark hooked one. But he did hook his share on the upper Wilson the day we hooked 28 or 29 steelhead(can't remember the exact number - I don't keep count on a notepad like Wassie's do) in about 4 1/2 hours - check the ifish search feature to find Mark's post about it. That was even better than the 31 on the Humptulips with the Wassie top guns, when I landed and released my 'would be' limit of chromer salmon before any were hooked by the Wassie heavies. See any patterns yet? Of course. But do I get any thanks for being so nice to you in those couple of little flotillas. NO. Fine. No more Mr. Nice guy! The flotilla courtesy is over with. I will simply outfish you two at F4 (boat count - outside rods get a few more fish, and I will be running the kicker perfectly). Dannie wussed out on the shaved head bet Troy; how about you?

This post is already too long; but it takes a lot to get the wool off the eyes of those 2 crackers. So all the rest of you but Spooled should stop here - the rest of this isn't pretty.

Hey "fooled Spooled", this isn't just a fishing thread, it's a trash talkin thread. That includes golf in my book. Let's see ... the 3 times we've played golf I won every time - by an average of about double figures in strokes. Let me help ya out there too ... if you hit the ball up in the air for a long ways, it cuts down on the number of strokes! It isn't bowling dood. - You just can't roll the ball along the ground all the way to the greens and expect to compete. I'll give you an example, to illustrate (I know it's hard for you to understand these fundamentals): remember on the second hole at Quail Valley Golf course I drove the 275 yard green with my driver tee shot. You took 3 shots to get that relatively short distance. That's not how you play golf man! If you have a 'bowling' mindset out on a tough golf course, you aren't going to break 95 very often. As for basketball boy, I mean Troy, it's ... oh wait, you don't know what a basketball is. Nevermind. Same with Dannie.

Time out from the joking around:

There will be an official Spring Chinook derby with large cash prizes at the same time and place as F4. Cool! See the details in the "SPINGER DERBY - Same time and place as F4" thread.

Ok, time in:

For you guys that aren't springer crackers (very few of you), get after your entry tickets. For the rest of you Wassies and the lame Oreos, save the 25 bucks to go buy some fish filet sandwiches from McDonald's.

RT

Ah Spooled you forgot the one name on you list...Mine

RT I know Dan doesn't do B-Ball....But I do
I'll be you're Huckleberry......how many points do I get
We can play for what ever you want to Lose ...Have Ball will travel........Os

Oh Ya Like Dan said.....whats a Springer?

RT, what next, a pie eating contest or Slim Fast chugging contest? :p

Yeah you can hit a long drive, but we all know putting is where the game is at. Seems to me I was on in 2, on that 600+ yard par 5 on the Lewis River Golf Course. Just to help with the math that is TWO 300 yard plus shots in a row. One off the deck! Don't mean nothing if you can't putt. Yeah, you have the advantage with golf, I have a day job that keeps me choosing golf or fishing on the weekends. Fishing is more fun for me.

Aunty M.....good thing you are not showing up for F4, as I think you actually have to LAND fish for them to count. 5 second rule you been watchin' too much WWF.

Osprey, I have your name up there as a participant. Did you catch a fish on a Flotilla? I will be glad to edit it if so. With the "all talk, no fish crowd" posting here, it is a badge of honor to have caught a fish when it counted, not just in "practice".

RT, maybe a spelling bee.

Aunty M, glad you used the "w" in witty. Usually people use "sh" in front of it to descibe me.

Hope you do show up for F4, I'll show what a springer looks like. You can look at both springers I keep, as long as you want, not just the 5 seconds RT lets people see the fish he hooks.

Troy: what are you doing getting into a battle of wits with an unarmed man (RT).

Just remember that you are dealing with a writer. He will weave and dodge but can he fish????

He talks the trash but can he back it up. :p :p

He has so much confidence in his fishing ability that he had to get a guide to fish with so he ups his odds.

Oh did you read the rule where fish caught with guides or former guides don't count in F4...

Well Giz, I didn't think you'd bring your tucked tail back in the jungle here again. That takes a pair of nards; for you anyway. As for your comment "He talks the trash but can he back it up", hey, go back and read all the verifiable awesome feats of fishing I've pulled off (ok, not that awesome), while letting you guys catch fish in a couple of little flotillas. And that's the thanks I get. Geeez! [btw, this is starting to get embarrassing - bragging about fishing feats to back up this trash talkin - please excuse us the rest of you.]

Now this F4 is a different story. We ain't goofin around this time. And switching from my boat to Jerry's bigger boat isn't because he occassionally guides part time. It was for a more comfy boat and an extra rod capacity. Actually, it will cost me a bit of fishing place control and boat control. He likes to anchor in the hog lines; but he catches more than his share in them. But in the extreme unlikely event that we don't catch fish in it, I can handle that. ... [Ah, actually I will dive off the St. John's bridge if I come up with another donut in F4, after all this much smackin. ] As for you Geezmo, it's like I said before, you will have an unfair advantage because you'll already have a chromer at the start of the day 4/13. All you have to do is take off your hat and there it is.

Lets see .... Os. Yes Troy, he did catch a fish in F1, along with Dan getting one in the same boat. Us other boaters went down well ahead of them and could only hook and lose fish with Tadpoly's in the 37 degree water (Kid Sauk's boat lost a Tad fish, like us - I was in Superfly's boat, along with 'Yall); the fish wouldn't take our eggs, pink worms, or jigs. But after the water was up to 40 degrees the fish got more active back up river where they were holding, and they did start moving to a jig for Os and Dan. My hats off to them for knowing that was a good strategy, and a gutsy move (I'm serious - well done). Os has posted before about putting in late for winter steelhead and 'batting cleanup'. So score one for him backing up his 'talk'. ... But Os and 'Yall couldn't get a bite in F2, where all stories had it being easy for most Oreos to catch fish from the S. Santiam that day; with good water conditions and fish there. So, you saw how well the Wassies do outside their own state. Let's see how well they do in the neutral river; if they have the nards to show up on 4/13.

btw Os, when I bet Dannie in a one on one half court b-ball game to 10, I didn't expect other good b-ballers to show up asking for the same deal. And they haven't so far. I would only bet against guys I know I can beat - and that would include you! So yes, any basketball bet with you will be easy pickins for me. Thanks for that offer. Keep it on the table.

Who else needs a reality check? Oh ya, Fooled. Hey Troy, 600+ yards in 2 shots? Ya right. Everyone believes that. Weren't you also the guy who posted about catching a 19 ft. long sturgeon; with one of your many monikers? But you are right about my putting - it has stunk for the last few months. I need to get on a practice green for sure. ...

Edit: Hey thanks for the nice words Marsha. They ring true when spoken of you. But this is a 'trashin thread', so let us have it.

Well, the only thing I can say is I feel sorry for Jerry. Since Rt is not in control, then Jerry is going to catch all the sheat that Rt will be dishing out as he rationalizes why he again will come up empty handed....

And RT...these fish stories you keep passing off. Are you a fictional or non fictional writer....

We have been out several times and I know what your catch record is....

Now you say you are only getting Jerry for his boat....ha ha ha ...

You need more rods... How about we make a special rule that for you and only you, everyone elses catch will automatically be part of your catch...this way you won't have to come up with more excuses as to why you again will come in fishless that day... :p

And yes, I have taken a poll, we all believe how benevolent you have become...letting everyone else catch fish in the floatillas cause you catch so many when you are off by yourself... :p

Uggg Walt, you fried turkey. I guess on your death bed you'll say anything in your whupped state of delerium.

I need a guide? Hey, Jerry invited me - how many times has he invited you? And on camera and with other people in boats and on the bank, you consider that 'off by myself'? Several times and you know my catch record? Not, none, not, and not! You are even lamer than you are bald and impotent. When you run out of wit and facts, then please don't fall to using lame crap with no obvious humor to it. Two words Giz: edit feature. The rest of us use it when we post lamo.


So now, like I told C&E, git sho lame ass outta here until you got somthin to bring that ain't an embarrassment to ya, bo! Or else we's gonna take your sheepin boots away and put ya up on this here table to dance fo us all.



--------------
Are we still having fun?

Now here's a lame move. Me posting this so I'd get the 100th post in this thread.

btw, here's a depiction of what is usually on Stew's screen:

Hey Osprey, the edit has been made. Sorry I missed that. You are one of the 5 people ( DAN S., OSPREY, GIZMO, CATCH AND EAT, AND SPOOLED ) talking smack here that have actually caught a fish on a Flotilla.

You are also one of the 4 people ( DAN S., OSPREY, CATCH AND EAT, AND SPOOLED ) talking smack here, to actually win a Flotilla. I used bold, because their are alot of smack talkers on this thread who's names are missing from this "elite" group. :p I thought maybe they could see bold letters better.

RT....dude. This is the 21st century.... wake up. No one uses the term "nards" anymore, the word is "sack". You should have said Gizmo has "sack" (you da man Giz) in your above post. Maybe in Giz's case major sack . None of us young guys new what you said. I had to use a geriatrics to slang dictionary to see what you meant. :p

As for your hoop (that is basketball in the geriatrics dictionary) knowledge, these days 1 on 1 is played to 11 not ten, offense calls fouls, usually winner's outs. With winner's outs, when would you get the ball? :p

Schooled:

Sack doesn't mean SH|T if there aren't any BAWLZ a-fillin' them. You should accept this concept now, as at the end of 13 April you're gonna have nothing but an empty burlap sack where a fish should be.

Oh, and FYI. The skunk is officially off.

Just noticed that RT is supposed to be "Returning Adult" Yeah, right. Also Noticed that he is "Returning Adult #911". Meaning, my friend 911 means you need help. Soooooo....maybe someone in your boat might be gracious enough to handoff a fish to you on the flotilla so you could actually real in a fish for once in your mirrad life. So bring on your donut seat'in self with your preparation H cures and pink worms to the flotilla. Be sure to bring toilet seat covers too. You can put them over your head and use them as a bib at the Dairy Queen. RT=really tragic....fisherman that is.

Stew. Ya just could'nt resist to join this thread. Your hate for this thread is your downfall. Take it all personally big guy. Since you take it personally, Just be happy, lighten up, move to Washington or something.

Aunty M. This ain't Kansas missy. Call Dorothy and Toto for Bass fishin advice. Leave the salmon for the Flotilla Boys. Bake some cookies or something.

Dan S. You're pretty funny. Sometimes. :p

David Jackson. Hey are you related to Micheal? Jessie? Guess not, just thought I'd ask.

Spooled, well spoken big fella. History does repeat itself. Another goose egg for RT. BTW what does golf and basketball have to do with fishing. Let's see, RT can just "putter" around aimlessly and organize his pink worm collection. RT is no slam dunk when it comes to fishing. There, I guess you can relate the sports. Is'nt that amazing?

Heavy hitter Gizmo.

AuntyM: you throwing Smack my way and I don't even know you or met you...you must be saggin in more that one dept. to be pickin on me and the big stick... Pick up your act and be a little more perky when you attack me...after all its what's up front that counts :p

And Crotch and Rot, you a preachers kid or something like that...it's the only thing I can figure out by the way you keep spoutin like you know something about fishin' You look like you are looking for devine intervention to help you. So far, no one knows if you have even caught a fish on your snoopy pole... Better have mom give you a big hug cause you seem to have a bruised ego and after f4 you will be back in her arms cryin "Mommie, they wouldn't let me play with them..."

RT: one fish on film doesn't make you a star (a legend in your own mind, yes...but a star no :p )
You need a bigger boat to fish in as your reason to switch over to Jerry's boat is cause you consumed too many donuts that you bring a new meaning to "heavy hitter". Remember that the weigh in at 3:30 is for fish and heavy is better for them...We will not be weighing in the fishers. If we did, I'd have to move the weigh in to the truck scales so we have a chance to weigh you and stew....
:p

Spooled, for the record, I did not catch a fish at 3.5. That was Jeff's fish I was holding. He deserves the credit for that one.

Giz...

Thanks Spooled,Dan and I were batting clean-up that day,We don't mind that way we let everyone else make the excuses.

RT :p "But Os and 'Yall couldn't get a bite in F2, where all stories had it being easy for most Oreos to catch fish from the S. Santiam that day; with good water conditions and fish there. So, you saw how well the Wassies do outside their own state. Let's see how well they do in the neutral river; if they have the nards to show up on 4/13."

for the record we did get a few" bites" and the way I saw it a Lot more oregoons didn't catch those so called easy fish than us 2 Washington studs

I accept you challenge for B-ball....better bring you're Buttt donut first to 11 ,make it take it , gotta win by 2.....bring Stewy......Os

C&E:

I used to say that I couldn't be related to Michael due to the obvious skin color differences. Can't use that line anymore.

Only in America can a poor black boy from Indiana grow up to be a rich white woman.

Jesse Jackson's eyes are so damned far apart that when the movie on his life is made his part will be played by one of the Budwiser lizards.

I'm about as related to them as I am to Os. Os, on the other hand, is related to himself several times over. Dude has to buy himself gifts for Father's Day, his family tree is so ingrown.

Much, much better for all of you (except Giz - he just refuses to ackknowledge facts - "one fish on cam" hehe; go back and re-read and/or re-watch the show fool). But including you Aunty. You crushed me with the one about being uglier than Stew. Oooooooooouch. I won't be able to sleep for a week now after that one.

So, ya'll grew some "sack". Cool. You are approaching worthy trashdom. And we can leave the sports stuff out of this, and keep it a fishing trash thread; that's appropriate (except for a confirmation of a whupping I will put on Os - prediction: RT - 11, Os - 3). Most of ya don't have much 'sack' in that department anyway. But after F4, a lot of you are going to be wearing a sack over your heads!

Stay tuned here. This is warming up now.

11-3 Ithought you were spottin me 5 pts.....big talker.
Nah thats O.K.
I don't want you to have any excuses.
You really must be a Legend in you're own mind
I haven't lost a game.....in years......I just hope you score .....now thats smack talk

Hey Davey,you better start catchin fish Dude....you're giveing us Jacksons a bad name....were you adopted ....Os

That should be easy. There's a lot of Washington fishing trash that posts on this board.

Os:

Damn, bro. I just caught a fish yesterday. What more do ya want from me?