If you own a 4x4 truck and Armorall the tires.

If you don't know who Peter North or Jenna Jameson is.

If you've ever been in a Mexican standoff at a 4-way stop and not charged through the intersection cussing.

If you've ever waited more than 2 minutes on hold.

If you've ever turned down head.

If you are religous.

If you are ugly.

If you are fat.

If you live with your mother-in-law.

I told you, you ain't my type, twinkletoes!

Watch it, Ichy, or I'll sic churchgoer on you.

havin' a rough day, Sol?

Contraire, bro, I'm at the top of my game. As always.

I ain't afraid! I KNOW people in Poulsbo!

I guess I still haven't figured out just what is your game, Sol. Always looking for envelopes to push?

Pretty much. With a drink in my hand I'm bullet proof.

The inspiration for a new signature line!

Sorry I won't get the chance to meet up with you at the Westport outing. Hopefully another time, soon.

If I can return from Canada this fall without burning my spey rod in the campfire over cocktails, we'll swing some flies next winter.

You forgot one ingredient to the recipe - Online braggarts

If you're interested in continued education I'll pay your tuition to FU.

Besides, modesty is over rated.

Isn't that like number 4 on the dip-sh!t list?

You know that anyone who calls braggart on an internet board is just a non-fish-catching cracker, right?

You got me, but I don't have a drink in my hand either.

Yup, that's it. That hurts coming from the magna cum laude of DSU with honors in the browned eyed pokey.....

That's Magna Cum Loudly, dipshi%. And the Brown-eyed Pokey is a cool place to hang out if she's hot. F'ya.

F'ya too jagoff...

As long as Magna isn't what Dans nick name for you is..

Don't be mad cause your old and bfugly... It'll be over soon enough..

That's Fuc% ya, not Fuc% you, dumbass. I'll look forward to meeting you. Be sure and introduce yourself.

Anyone else want a piece of me?

HOOAAHHHHHH