I'm new to the neighborhood and get an invite to go fishing with the guy next door. After a coffee and couple of pops, I gotta make some water... So I ask him, "What's the restroom arrangements ?"

He hands me a jug. It's one of those square bottomed plastic jugs like you get windshield washer fluid in and it still has the cap on it. I look at the cap and say, "Kinda small, aint it?" He gives me a queer look and doesn't say anything. I'm still wondering how I'm going to get ol' one-eye lined up with the neck of this jug...

So, I crouch down, twist the cap off the jug, take aim and let loose. My aim is right on and I'm holding steady, but I can feel something warm is running down my leg and into my boot!

It turns out the ol' piss jug acutally has the bottom cut out, so it doubles as a scoop. I was suppose to leave the cap on and flip the jug over.

He swears that it was an innocent mistake...he had no idea what I meant when I said it was too small...

Well, although it was not really intentional, when I was 18 I was fishing with my cousin on the Little White Salmon river for steelhead one night and I had the hot rod..... After hooking my 8th fish for the night, my cousin was VERY grumpy and cursing everything in site (he had not had one hookup).
He finally hooks up with a MONSTER steelhead that when he got it to the boat looked a good 18-20 lbs.... HUGE fish.... Then he is yelling for me to net it and I grab the net as he pulls it towards the boat. I go to net it, the fish freaks and takes one more feeble 10 yd run, and as it does I spit my too-short-burning cigarette into the air (smoke in the eye thing) and the wind catches it and it flys over and hits his line........ Boom... Fish gone.
He looks at his line and back at the water, sits down, and says "I want to go home now"..... It was all I could do to keep from splittin a gut, and to this day I have not told him that it was my fault he lost that fish...... Thank God I don't smoke anymore......

MC