Sol
River Nutrients
Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 7477
Loc: Poulsbo
Here's the latest. The kids have taken to giving the parrot "flying lessons" outside in the afternoon. It doesn't seem to matter to them that the bird's wings have been clipped and it can't fly. Kids crack me up.
Chuck E
Three Time Spawner
Registered: 09/07/05
Posts: 1832
Loc: Kitsap Peninsula
About 1990, I looked out the back slider and noticed that the sunflowers were bobbing up and down. I took a second look and realized there was a parrot on one of the sunflowers trying to get at the seeds. One of the biggest mistakes of my life was grabbing a fishing net and catching the damn thing. Heck, I wanted to be a pirate as a kid and every good pirate has a parrot on his shoulder. It bonded with my wife and hates me - I mean HATES ME! The feeling is mutual. It chases me if it's out and I come in the room. A good example is that one time it launched at me from it's perch and managed to grab my upper lip, with his little feet frantically trying find a perch on my chin and his wings flapping. I grabbed him off and threw him across the room and he came back after me. I have a mustache so I don't know if there's a scar there or not but it bleed. I felt like I was in some grade 'b' drive-in movie kinda like "The Birds". Of course, during the whole thing my wife is in hysterics laughing. Big help she is and she said it was my own fault because I'd had a bit more rum than I should have and was teasing the spawn of satan. Another time, he waited for me to come back into the room. As I came in, he ran at me and ended up upside down with his feet grabbing each leg of my sweats about knee high and lunging at my crotch. Why is he still with us - because my wife loves him and after damn near 35 years of marriage, I just roll over like a cur dog when she scratches my belly.
_________________________
"I didn't care what she didn't 'low--I would boogie-woogie anyhow" John Lee Hooker
Thanks for the laugh Chuck E. Sorry it's at your expense! My dog goes after rattlesnakes and porqupines so I don't think it would be afraid of a parot though that sounds like one mean bird.
Dan S.
It all boils down to this - I'm right, everyone else is wrong, and anyone who disputes this is clearly a dumbfuck.
Registered: 03/07/99
Posts: 16958
Loc: SE Olympia, WA
If you give flying lessons, shouldn't you know how to fly?
Edited by Dan S. (05/14/0705:51 PM)
_________________________
She was standin' alone over by the juke box, like she'd something to sell. I said "baby, what's the goin' price?" She told me to go to hell.
#352626 - 05/15/0709:46 AMRe: Parrot Chronicles
[Re: Dan S.]
sodfarmer
Returning Adult
Registered: 03/10/05
Posts: 298
Loc: sleeping in my duck blind
My son was giving his Turtle a driving lesson in the back of his R/C jeep best part was them chasing the cat never laughed so hard in my life until his Mom showed up
Sol
River Nutrients
Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 7477
Loc: Poulsbo
Here's a twist. I got tired of listening to the damn thing squak all the time so I made friends with it. Now it seldom chirps, but the down side is I seem to be it's favorite person in the house, now. It won't leave me alone. If it's on one of my kids or my wife when I walk in the room it jumps off them, flutters to the floor and walks over to climb up on me. This thing used to HATE me, now it loves me.
Sol
River Nutrients
Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 7477
Loc: Poulsbo
My shoulder is where is does sit. If I don't put her there she uses her beak and feet to scale my pants and t-shirt to climb up there on her own. Occationally, out of the blue she will grab my ear-ring and tug on it, which pisses me off because it hurts, but I thump her on the head and she mellows out.
The only thing we've been able to teach it to say so far is "Step-up."
Sol, So I get a call last night form my wife. Seems your wife comes by so the girls can play.The dam bird flys from you wife up into a cedar tree. This cedar tree is across the road from me. The bird is up about 20 feet.
At this point I am in Silverdale buying a new cell phone. My spouse broke mine in half about 3 weeks ago so I had been using hers.
Anyway I drive home and there is the white suburban parked in the weeds across the road. With a fricken step stool on top. Seems that someone had been standing on top of the step stool with a long handled net thingie trying to catch the bird.
Anyway we ended up getting the bird out of tree one, it flew over to tree two. Still about 20 feet up in the air. We tossed a basketball up at it. Now the bird flies down the road and straight into the window glass on the front of the house. Fell to the ground as if it was dead. But allas its still alive.
Now the whole ordeal kind of stressed me out. 4 little kids 2 moms one dam little bird.
I guess the bird is ok.
I gave your (ex) wife a bottle of wine as she was leaving she looked like she could use a glass of wine.
Later Dude
Just thought we all could relive the dam parrot.
Edited by tunaklr (09/07/0707:45 PM)
_________________________
Check out Jimmys new products click here.
How Ive waited for you to come Ive been here all alone Now that youve arrived Please stay a while And I promise I wont keep you long Ill keep you forever]
Graze the skin with my finger tips The brush of dead cold flesh pacifies [sings appease] the means Provoking images delicate features so smooth A pleasant fragrance in the light of the moon
Dance with the dead in my dreams Listen to their hallowed screams The dead have taken my soul Temptations lost all control
Simple smiles elude psychotic eyes Lose all mind control rationale declines Empty eyes enslave the creations Of placid faces and lifeless pageants
In the depths of a mind insane Fantasy and reality are the same
Graze the skin with my finger tips The brush of dead warm flesh pacifies the means Incised members ornaments on my being Adulating the skin before me
Simple smiles elude psychotic eyes Lose all mind control rationale declines Empty eyes enslave the creations Of placid faces and lifeless pageants
Dance with the dead in my dreams [hello? hello mr gein? ] Listen to their hollowed screams [mr gein? ] The dead have taken my soul [lemme out of here mr gein] Temptations lost all control [mr gein? I dont wanna play anymore Mr gein] [dance with the dead in my dreams [mr gein, its not any fun anymore,] Listen to their hollowed screams [i dont want to play anymore mr gein] The dead have taken my soul [mr gein? lemme out of here mr gein] Temptations lost all control] [lemme out, lemmmmeee oouuuuuuttt!!]
About 1990, I looked out the back slider and noticed that the sunflowers were bobbing up and down. I took a second look and realized there was a parrot on one of the sunflowers trying to get at the seeds. One of the biggest mistakes of my life was grabbing a fishing net and catching the damn thing. Heck, I wanted to be a pirate as a kid and every good pirate has a parrot on his shoulder. It bonded with my wife and hates me - I mean HATES ME! The feeling is mutual. It chases me if it's out and I come in the room. A good example is that one time it launched at me from it's perch and managed to grab my upper lip, with his little feet frantically trying find a perch on my chin and his wings flapping. I grabbed him off and threw him across the room and he came back after me. I have a mustache so I don't know if there's a scar there or not but it bleed. I felt like I was in some grade 'b' drive-in movie kinda like "The Birds". Of course, during the whole thing my wife is in hysterics laughing. Big help she is and she said it was my own fault because I'd had a bit more rum than I should have and was teasing the spawn of satan. Another time, he waited for me to come back into the room. As I came in, he ran at me and ended up upside down with his feet grabbing each leg of my sweats about knee high and lunging at my crotch. Why is he still with us - because my wife loves him and after damn near 35 years of marriage, I just roll over like a cur dog when she scratches my belly.
If you can teach it to bark, Victoria will come over from England in her Jag and set it straight.
Chuck E
Three Time Spawner
Registered: 09/07/05
Posts: 1832
Loc: Kitsap Peninsula
It won't bark but it does have a croak that sounds like my wife yelling "Chuck" if I'm outside or in the shop. So, being an attentive husband, i dutifully quit what I'm doing and run to see what the light of my life wants only to find out it's the frickin' parrot. I hate that bird.
_________________________
"I didn't care what she didn't 'low--I would boogie-woogie anyhow" John Lee Hooker
Registered: 03/01/03
Posts: 1244
Loc: Snohomish County
Thanks Bryon! Pretty good stuff there... Jason really spruced it up with his story. Doesn't a thread have to be at least 25 pages to make it to the PP Hall of Shame though?
Todd
Dick Nipples
Registered: 03/08/99
Posts: 27838
Loc: Seattle, Washington USA
I don't see it on this thread to be in the Classics...it's too short, and while a couple of the posts are extraordinarily good, it's 99% fluff...well, all the threads are 99% fluff, but if we can rack 'em up to 15 or 20 pages, then there's plenty of wheat amongst the chaff...
Previous Topic
Index
