When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.

When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I
needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything
was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened
suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally
predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I
decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her.
She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did
mad impetuous things and made me mi serable as often as happy. She was great fun
initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl
with some real ambition.

When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted
firmly on the ground and married her.

She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

I am now older and wiser and looking for a girl with big tits.

Speaking of big tits, I was sitting in my truck at the stoplight near Target on Kitsap Mall Blvd. waiting for the light to change when I see this chick walking across the crosswalk in front of me. She was a good loking gal and her tits were fuc%ing HUGE!!!!

As she got closser I started scaning for nips and noticed the t-shirt she was wearing. It was red with a stylized logo on the chest of a buck whitetail deer head and a route 66 highway sign with an American flag tieing whole red-neck patriotic design together. So, I get home in time to head to a 3rd of July party and my wife says, "I bought you something." Laying on the table in front of me is the same t-shirt in my size. She says, "Do you like it?"

Put it on Sol and check for nips

Sooo....Sol show us yer tits....

RVW

You're gonna have to buy me a drink first.

Seen a gal at Bell square wearing a real tight shirt, about 16/17 or so with big cans, the white shirt with bold black lettering said " Stop looking at my titts" ok..once you stop parading them in my face. Can't believe her folks would put up with that shiat!

Don't get me wrong I wasan't offended

Sure can tell there are a bunch of old guys reading this

I know a guy named Cooter who lives in a trailer with his girlfriend (400#), her tweaker brother, and her parents (450# mom, 145# dad). The mom was sitting at the table in her mu-mu eating soup out of the pan when a cat jumped up and took a crap in a houseplant right in front of her. She just kept on eatin'. Before they got in the trailer, they lived in a tent trailer in Capitol Forest and the mom had to sleep on the floor because if she got on the bed the trailer would tip over.

How the hell is she doing? I haven't seen her in years but ...... oh ..the mammaries...I mean memories.

RVW

How about a big warm glass of cream? (you know the really creamy cream stuff ...only warmer)

RVW

Everything I know about women I learned from neighborhood dogs