Thanks for all the advice, guys.

I spoke with my wife on the phone a short time ago and she admitted to accosting me last night and being a biotch. First time ever I might add. She has agreed to be reasonable and do the split without her own attorney. At least that is the story today, we'll see.

Marriage is like an ice-cream headache. The first couple of bites are good, and the next thing you know your holding your temples saying, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH."

that is the best definition of marriage I have ever heard.Hang in there Sol at least you are talking now Not only are lawyers expensive but it makes it even harder on the kids

Hang in there Sol! I'm going to use the ice cream analogy on my wife tonight and see what she thinks
Neal

She's gonna give you an ice cream headache you never dreamed of, Neal.

Cover your own ass and hire a good attorney anyway. Divorce is messy,it's so easy to get into a marriage and hard to get out of one. I would take some of these guys' advice and get what you want out of there asap. From experience. Women have this nasty habit of changing their minds...

Sol... We have never met, but have talked on this forum.. anyways, i wish you luck in your forthcoming life changing ordeal.. You have receieved a lot of good advice from many of the members of this board.. the only thing I can add is if there is
an agreement to sell the house and split the profits, make sure that the check for the sale of the house is in HER name... I had the worst thing occur when I signed over to her the check that was made out to both of us... she got all the money. and only claimed half to the IRS.... Needless to say, the IRS cameafter me for over $11,000.00...My share of the capital gains taxes.. Beware bro, there many legal loopholes that can screw you. Be cautious.. Be smart. Good luck..

SOL

I gotta pipe in with the biggest lesson I learned in my recent split.

GET A COURT DATE

GET A COURT DATE

GET A COURT DATE

Oh yeah, in case I forgot this important point...

GET A F'N COURT DATE!

That is the only thing that will put a tangible time line on the whole ordeal. Without a defined drop dead date, the attorneys will string it out for as long as is humanly possible, sucking all parties dry. In my case, since my ex had ZERO income I had to cover 100% of her attorney fees as well as all their professional consultation/expert witness fees, so I was personally getting sucked dry by BOTH attorneys for over 2 years. That $hit does NOT need to take that long. Just get a real life value on all your community assets, and get the [censored] done as expeditiously as you can!

In the end, the whole f'n thing just culminates in one big negotiation session between attorneys and accountants the night before the court date to reach the final settlement. We could have done that session over a year before we went before the judge. In the meantime both attorneys were collecting over $1000 a month apiece for over 2 years. Do the math.... it ain't pretty!

Not to metntion the prolonged stress, diminished productivity on the job, and forgone income lost because of meeting after meeting with the attorneys and consultants.

Time is money... just get it done before you're so f'n deep in debt that you really will want to reach for that revolver.

Ive told you before that I got off easy doing the hole thing without lawyers. What I didn't get would not have come close to paying for one or both. If it starts to get ugly have Bob pull every post you have ever made on this board before some rat nosed bastard like the one my Mom got gets ahold of it. Still love Mom but if I Iam ever diagnosed terminal her Lawyer is crab $h^t.
If your friends are the people you say they are you must be one hell of a good guy too. If you let this f$%^7 you up and start loosing interest in the things you love to do get a little temp pro help. Thinking I would never need it almost cost me a full fishing season and that would be a serious loss...

This might just be the weirdest divorce ever. My wife has done a 180 after me telling her she didn't cut it as one of my friends. She says she can deal with not being my husband, but says she can't deal with not being my friend. She has volunteered to go to sexual counseling and also counseling to deal with her control issues, so she can be the kind of friend I like to hang with. She says she doesn't care if I [censored] around while we are in the process of getting divorced. The whole dynamic between her and I has changed for the better. I spent 3 hours with her and the kids in the boat water-skiing yesterday and it was wonderful. She could end up being one of my best friend at this rate. Reconciliation as a married couple has been dismissed by both her and I, as I think we both see that marriage, at least for us was a bad idea.

Don't be f'ing around with other girls.....at all....at least until the paper work is all final. She could bust your balls BIG time if she turned back into a freakin' nut job.....I plan to avoid some of the head ache by not getting married at all. Working on 4 years.....lol. I don't let her go on any titles or share any bank accounts. And most of the bills are in her....lol. Women are trouble.....and Washington loves to give em all our money.....lazy wenches

Let me get this strait:
Your becoming friends with your soon to be X. huh
She agrees that Mariage isnt for the two of you but cant stand the thought of you not being her friend. humm
She is getting profesional help to learn how to beter YOUR sex life and she abmits to and wants to resolve her control issues.
WOW if you can get the papers signed and things stay the same you will remain at the top of my hero list.


To be safe I would take chocs advise and wouldn't f around until its in the books. She will probably start screwing your brains out anyways. Beware the mood swings, walk softly and get er done.
Figure out the relationship afterwards with no strings atatched. Whats best for Kids first always
By the way I sucked at all that stuff with mine and cant stand the dick she is with now... Good luck

Your wrong, Stam, I am totally there. So is she, but not every divorce has to end in bitter hatred. We are both just so tired of the work involved in making it work because we are so different and have different interests, and the baggage that has been piling up in this marraige is to cumbersome to move forward with.

As far as messing around, my wife is many things, but she is not a vengeful person. Self-rightous and judgmental, yes, vengeful, no.

Men marry women hoping they never change. Women marry men hoping to change them. Most often, neither gets what they wanted.

Mine was/is vengeful.
We had a peaceful divorce but she twists the knife every so often for fun.

You say that now, wait until she hears about you being ball deep in some other chick.......funny how that changes someones mentallity.

Dude.....run. I've been through this. When the tune changes every three days,beware. Protect yourself and do what's right for you. Be an upstanding guy and don't bang any chicks until the process is well underway. let her talk to your lawyer. She wants to be friends? Fine if that's tru she'll give you guys some space to sort things out. I found,for me that it was helpful to spend some time away from here and put distance between myself and the marriage.And hide your loomis rods.

Why don't you all just chill and let the Doctor take care of this.

The Dr. can be your friend.

"Doctor, doctor, PLEASE,.......Oh, the mess I'm in........."

UFO ruled.