...with a woman again, will someone PLEASE put a bullet it my head.

Done.
I have several calibers to choose from.
Do me a favor and kill me first if I do the same.
I'm putting my old lady down today.
I just wish it was the ex wife instead of the dog.

50 cal., muzzle against my forehead, no blindfold, and in broad daylight.

NOW you are learning....

I'm on my 4th..damn lucky for me she's a keeper or I would feel the same.

Like my bud used to say.."If it's got ti ts or wheels youre gonna have trouble with it!"

Mike

Rookie. When you join me and Mike on our 4th, then spin the chamber.

She's talking about getting two lawyers and fighting this thing tooth and nail. I could give a [censored]. If she takes everything I own I'll be rich in friends and I'll be happy, which is something she will never be.

Most women are not rational. Hell it's a community property state. The only thing a lawyer is going to do is run up the bill leaving her with less money.
Have fun with your nieces this weekend and try to forget about it.

Camping trip is off. I moved out last night.

Pick the lock on her car and stick an 8 ball in the ashtray. Then wait till she goes somewhere and call the cops from a pay phone.

Seastrike is right, don't fight it out with attorneys.........it'll cost you a ton. My second divorce cost me my house, car, boat(she sold immediately), $20K lump sum, $800 per month maintenance, $1,000 per month child support for my son(joint custody by the way) and my attorney charged me $17,000 for all that excellent work.

Let things cool a bit. Talk nicely and compromise. There is a mediation-style business in Everett that some of my clients have used and it really works. PM me if you want info.

Good luck. Go fishing.

Get a female attorney to represent you ASAP. Weak women have trouble whinning when confronted with a strong female that is self made, such as one with a Law degree. If you get a male attorney, it will be the battle of the sexes, and in court most times we lose in that senerio. Strong acertive women (female attorney) vs. women that earn there way by flat backing on men, or laying on the couch all day and whinning about it, is very revealing in the presence of other strong females, Counselors, Therapist or Judges.

As Aunty said, stand up to her. Have an attorney friend recommend a good female divorce lawyer, and then let her handle everything and go fishing. No need to wrangle with the wife anymore as that will get you no where anyway. Remember, you are in a War Zone. Let her ( your attorney) know what your concerns are, and have her speak to your soon to be X directly or through her attorney. I bet you, your wife will show more respect for your position and needs than she would if it was another male that she was confronting as your attorney.

It worked for me. A dysfunctional marriage can cause misery, disease and death. Much better to move on with your life and look forward to much better choices for dating and relationships.

Take a look at your own behavior and needs and figure out what you like in a relationship in addition to the sex. This is a time for healing as well, so fish hard and spend time taking care of number one.

Good luck man, and congratulations on a new beginning.

You never really get to know a woman until you meet her in court.

Sol, get a good lawyer so you dont get your throat ripped out.

What he said, gotta have a lady attorney. There's a couple of them close to ya Sol.

You have a seat in my drift boat any time man. Enjoy the time off.-T

Jen is one of the coolest chicks I've ever met, and she helped me to see what I could have, as did Shela. That was one of the funnest nights I've ever had.

Trust me when I say any woman I spend time with in the future will have no problems with men in general.

In addition to? There's other stuff?

Speaking from experience here, spend the money on a good attorney. I can't say that it has to be a woman. I tried that route and the female attorney I found didn't want to work for me as hard as I wanted her to. You will pay the price one way or the other in child support and maintance. You can bet that you’re soon to be ex will get the best "your" money can buy. You will get over being snake bit in a few days, weeks, months, years, decades. Give yourself some time to decide what you want from a relationship before you start one. Stam may have access to the "ranch" and you can try something a bit different. Not all women are Biatches, some can make very fine companions and if you share a few interests outside the bedroom it will be that much better. Don't ever let your anger with the ex get in the way of your relationship with your children and don't let them down by crawling into a bottle or pipe.
Cancel all creditcards that are in both of your names and pull out half of all the money in the bank before she pulls it all out. Don't rack up a bunch of debt and make sure that she can't do it in your name either or you will get stuck with it. Get all your personal belonging out of the house if you want to keep them or expect to buy them back in the settlement or off of Craigslist. Throw all you’re fishing and hunting gear in your boat and stick in a friends garage. Don't let her get a restraining order against you before you get your stuff or say good by to it.

Sol, never met or fished with you,but you seem like just another one of us caught in the trap. I will share with you one thing that I was told by an older,wiser guy I worked with years ago. When I was in the same boat as you. He said no matter what you do in the settlement, buy her out of your pension now or regret it later. He did this and I did too and never regretted it. I told my ex like he did his, "you can agree to this or I guarantee you that you will be getting 1/2 of nothing because I will not continue to add to this pension and I will NEVER draw a dime from it as long as you are alive." You have to let her lawyer know you are dead serious about that. You are about the same age as I was and can still put together a good retirement and fish all you want starting now.It will be tight and a little difficult to start with, but like a new mortgage it will be a very good investment down the line. Even if they call you on it, you will take less of a hit now and it will help towards starting over on a new retirement.
Good Luck Bill

"Don't let her get a restraining order against you before you get your stuff or say good by to it."

I have had to read a lot of dissolution files because of what I do for a living. I've never been down that road personally but one thing I do see is that the restraining order is often filed with the first summons etc. Generally, it ties up EVERYTHING and you can't do much without a stipulated court order.

Good Luck Sol.

I've got a .45 and a shovel with your name on it, bro.

You get serious with a women again, and I seriously doubt anyone would miss you. I'll see to that.

I've got your back on this one.

Good luck with what is sounding like an ugly situation. The only thing I can offer is a recommendation for a kick-ass divorce attorney. He's one ruthless SOB - and my fraternity bro. If you took his advice, you'd come out as well as one could expect in this state (which isn't saying a lot, as guys get F*cked in this state when it comes to divorces and child custody).

Thanks for all the advice, guys.

I spoke with my wife on the phone a short time ago and she admitted to accosting me last night and being a biotch. First time ever I might add. She has agreed to be reasonable and do the split without her own attorney. At least that is the story today, we'll see.

Marriage is like an ice-cream headache. The first couple of bites are good, and the next thing you know your holding your temples saying, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH."

that is the best definition of marriage I have ever heard.Hang in there Sol at least you are talking now Not only are lawyers expensive but it makes it even harder on the kids

Hang in there Sol! I'm going to use the ice cream analogy on my wife tonight and see what she thinks
Neal

She's gonna give you an ice cream headache you never dreamed of, Neal.

Cover your own ass and hire a good attorney anyway. Divorce is messy,it's so easy to get into a marriage and hard to get out of one. I would take some of these guys' advice and get what you want out of there asap. From experience. Women have this nasty habit of changing their minds...

Sol... We have never met, but have talked on this forum.. anyways, i wish you luck in your forthcoming life changing ordeal.. You have receieved a lot of good advice from many of the members of this board.. the only thing I can add is if there is
an agreement to sell the house and split the profits, make sure that the check for the sale of the house is in HER name... I had the worst thing occur when I signed over to her the check that was made out to both of us... she got all the money. and only claimed half to the IRS.... Needless to say, the IRS cameafter me for over $11,000.00...My share of the capital gains taxes.. Beware bro, there many legal loopholes that can screw you. Be cautious.. Be smart. Good luck..

SOL

I gotta pipe in with the biggest lesson I learned in my recent split.

GET A COURT DATE

GET A COURT DATE

GET A COURT DATE

Oh yeah, in case I forgot this important point...

GET A F'N COURT DATE!

That is the only thing that will put a tangible time line on the whole ordeal. Without a defined drop dead date, the attorneys will string it out for as long as is humanly possible, sucking all parties dry. In my case, since my ex had ZERO income I had to cover 100% of her attorney fees as well as all their professional consultation/expert witness fees, so I was personally getting sucked dry by BOTH attorneys for over 2 years. That $hit does NOT need to take that long. Just get a real life value on all your community assets, and get the [censored] done as expeditiously as you can!

In the end, the whole f'n thing just culminates in one big negotiation session between attorneys and accountants the night before the court date to reach the final settlement. We could have done that session over a year before we went before the judge. In the meantime both attorneys were collecting over $1000 a month apiece for over 2 years. Do the math.... it ain't pretty!

Not to metntion the prolonged stress, diminished productivity on the job, and forgone income lost because of meeting after meeting with the attorneys and consultants.

Time is money... just get it done before you're so f'n deep in debt that you really will want to reach for that revolver.

Ive told you before that I got off easy doing the hole thing without lawyers. What I didn't get would not have come close to paying for one or both. If it starts to get ugly have Bob pull every post you have ever made on this board before some rat nosed bastard like the one my Mom got gets ahold of it. Still love Mom but if I Iam ever diagnosed terminal her Lawyer is crab $h^t.
If your friends are the people you say they are you must be one hell of a good guy too. If you let this f$%^7 you up and start loosing interest in the things you love to do get a little temp pro help. Thinking I would never need it almost cost me a full fishing season and that would be a serious loss...

This might just be the weirdest divorce ever. My wife has done a 180 after me telling her she didn't cut it as one of my friends. She says she can deal with not being my husband, but says she can't deal with not being my friend. She has volunteered to go to sexual counseling and also counseling to deal with her control issues, so she can be the kind of friend I like to hang with. She says she doesn't care if I [censored] around while we are in the process of getting divorced. The whole dynamic between her and I has changed for the better. I spent 3 hours with her and the kids in the boat water-skiing yesterday and it was wonderful. She could end up being one of my best friend at this rate. Reconciliation as a married couple has been dismissed by both her and I, as I think we both see that marriage, at least for us was a bad idea.

Don't be f'ing around with other girls.....at all....at least until the paper work is all final. She could bust your balls BIG time if she turned back into a freakin' nut job.....I plan to avoid some of the head ache by not getting married at all. Working on 4 years.....lol. I don't let her go on any titles or share any bank accounts. And most of the bills are in her....lol. Women are trouble.....and Washington loves to give em all our money.....lazy wenches

Let me get this strait:
Your becoming friends with your soon to be X. huh
She agrees that Mariage isnt for the two of you but cant stand the thought of you not being her friend. humm
She is getting profesional help to learn how to beter YOUR sex life and she abmits to and wants to resolve her control issues.
WOW if you can get the papers signed and things stay the same you will remain at the top of my hero list.


To be safe I would take chocs advise and wouldn't f around until its in the books. She will probably start screwing your brains out anyways. Beware the mood swings, walk softly and get er done.
Figure out the relationship afterwards with no strings atatched. Whats best for Kids first always
By the way I sucked at all that stuff with mine and cant stand the dick she is with now... Good luck

Your wrong, Stam, I am totally there. So is she, but not every divorce has to end in bitter hatred. We are both just so tired of the work involved in making it work because we are so different and have different interests, and the baggage that has been piling up in this marraige is to cumbersome to move forward with.

As far as messing around, my wife is many things, but she is not a vengeful person. Self-rightous and judgmental, yes, vengeful, no.

Men marry women hoping they never change. Women marry men hoping to change them. Most often, neither gets what they wanted.

Mine was/is vengeful.
We had a peaceful divorce but she twists the knife every so often for fun.

You say that now, wait until she hears about you being ball deep in some other chick.......funny how that changes someones mentallity.

Dude.....run. I've been through this. When the tune changes every three days,beware. Protect yourself and do what's right for you. Be an upstanding guy and don't bang any chicks until the process is well underway. let her talk to your lawyer. She wants to be friends? Fine if that's tru she'll give you guys some space to sort things out. I found,for me that it was helpful to spend some time away from here and put distance between myself and the marriage.And hide your loomis rods.

Why don't you all just chill and let the Doctor take care of this.

The Dr. can be your friend.

"Doctor, doctor, PLEASE,.......Oh, the mess I'm in........."

UFO ruled.

Is there a doctor in the house?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1X8yxcTLJhI

[quote] [/Why don't you all just chill and let the Doctor take care of this. quote]

The most well known Doctor in this house got burned by his X last year and he is woried about ya too.
Sol your one of the funniest SOBs around and we just want ya to stay that way.
Without saying a single word directed to me last year you realy helped me get threw my divorce and I had an easy one.
Hope your as tuff as you seem or better yet don't need to be. I wasn't

I may be a "slow learner," but once I make a decision it is final. I've always been that way. My wife is working with me one this one, not against me, so this should be about as easy of a divorce as humanly possible. Even so, the emotional toll it takes on a family is not pretty. My heart really goes out to Doc after talking to him on the phone the other night. If ever there was a truely good human being that got fuc%ed in a divorce it is him. He's a tough SOB.

My humor is going nowhere but up in all of this. Largely, this split is about being honest with who I really am. Every friend I have, and I have hundreds of them, LOVES me for the wild ass shi% that comes out of my mouth, and it's the same stuff my wife hates me for. I gotta be me.

Nice Avatar dude!

Sol, be careful, very careful...the only advice I would give is to

1. act like everything is going well
2. prepare like it is going completely and utterly wrong

We're talking about the rest of your life, your economic well-being, and your relationship with your daughters here...one small screwup without being prepared and you can lose all or most of that.

As usual, I'm pulling for ya, bud...continued good luck.

Fish on...

Todd

Sol, Make hay while the sun shines--
If a man had the wild mood swings most women do he'd find his ass in the Cookoo's Nest getting strapped in for Electroshock.
Get the peace treaty signed before you have to go back to Nuclear Weapons.

Buddie Doug ( bald guy .. mentioned before ) anyway he got divorced a few years back. He was the money man at his house, make good bank, had a sweet place. In the end, sold the house, she got half of the money etc.

The fun part. She went after half his 401k AND GOT IT... It was a big deal. The 401k sent him a check, so he wrote her a check. It was huge, something close to 100,000 .. anyway, on the bottom of the check where it says " for" he wrote " parisite food ".. This really pissed her off so she spent more lawyer money to make him write her a new check. He said he wouldn't, take it or leave it. In the end, she went and deposited it

I've always hated that about divorce. Even though this is a community property state, I told my wife we would split our collective retirements starting from what has been put aside the day we got married, and she could keep what she had in her 401k before we got married (several hundred grand).

I also told her fair is fair. She makes $100,000/year and I make $50,000/year, so our share the kids expences following divorce should be based on that ratio, I.E., I pay 1/3 and she pays 2/3's. THAT tipped her over bigtime when I first brought it up, but she's on board with it now.

What Todd said.

I'll tell ya what I hate about divorce. Back in my Semi-conductor days ( huge company) I saw this time and time again. Young girl gets hired. Nice looking. She is married and has a couple kids, a husband. Together with both of them working, they make ends meet.

She is pretty hot, and not so smart. Works all day around guys who make over 100,000 k a year, have fast cars, are ass holes , and are working her 24/7

Soon enough, she starts going out after work with some of the "guys" and soon after that she winds up sleeping with one. Rich dude talks her into dumping the husband. She marries the rich guy. So, the ex husband, who works his ass off at a crappy job has to pay her and the new rich husband 450.00 a month child support. This is chump change to the new rich husband, and they take it anyway. This poor SOB is now strapped for the rest of his life it would seem, and she has no use for the money .

I saw this play out a bunch of times. Got to the point when a new hot girl would get hired I just wondered how long it would take.

If we can do this as friends without an attorney I could give a fuc% what the state's chart says. All I want is a fair and equitable outcome, and the way I figure it those kids should be raised just like we were still married.

"the way I figure it those kids should be raised just like we were still married. "

Good call, that...if your wife is as on board with that as you, then most of the problems will be solved automatically...

Keep your pecker in your pocket until this is done...doing otherwise can screw it up so badly that you won't even recognize it by the time it is done...

Fish on...

Todd

My wife said I NEED to do as I may, so enough of the advice.

I DOOOOO need to get snipped. A couple of paternity suits could really do me in at this point in life.

I can help you out with the snipped part. Saw it done on TV and I'll stay in a Holiday Inn the night before.

Old song.. Smiling Faces sometimes pretend to be your friend.. can you dig it?

This thread is painful to read. I can't even imagine living it.

Much, much worse things can happen in our lifetimes, like death of a child or cancer. Don't sweat the small stuff, and it's all small stuff by comparison. Live happy and be yourself and let the cards fall where they may, that's my advice back to ya'll.

Have a great weekend.

Like Sol said, Don't sweat the petty stuff.... But for heavens sake don't pet the sweaty stuff......

Daddie is that you?

I just got tested to see If I had any swimmers left after the rubber band snapping I had done a while back. Told my wife the instructions indicated that she was required to spit the sample into the cup. She believed me! Or at least pretended to. Either way it doesn't matter because the result was the same My swimmers are dead.

My swimmers are dead.[/quote]

Hate to break this to ya Neal. They ain't dead, they just can't get out anymore---they have been trapped in!

Ugh... I don't like to think about my scrotum filling up and exploding with tadpoles, but I know you are right!

my swimmers seem to make kids at every opportunity so those boys are getting locked up for good unless I decide to marry a 21 yr old russian supermodel in my old age then I might break em out again...cheers

Maybe you should start by taking them to the pool. They need YOU to lead the way!

If the pool smells like chlorine-- doesn't mean it's safe.

Dirty!!! LOL

isnt it great that now we can keep A time in a bottle
and we don't have to worry about spraying our babies all over the pool.
HAHA I made a Solism

"I would have some of them preserved"

If you have any thoughts about kids post cutting, follow the advice from Aunty. A friend had a reversal then went fishing in the straits out of PA the next day- big mistake -think two grapefruit.

You can't trust anything or anyone that bleeds for seven days and doesn't die!!!

lmao....

Dude, that is going to be my new tag-line when I get tired of the Anorexic one.