My date last night was over in 25 minutes flat. Not a craigslist date, but one of those other sites. She walks in and I'm pissed from the get-go because she is 25 to 30 pounds heavier than her photo, but I smiled and rolled with it because I figured I would hit it anyway. So she sits down and we start the trivial BS conversation one would expect between two people with different agendas, and then she starts talking about God. I lost it. I had a beach full of buddies fishing less than five miles away, so I quoted Jessie Ventura and told her I thought religion was a crutch for weak-minded people. She promply said good evening and left.

Then I caught a cab down to Kid Sauk's and partied with cool people until they threw us out of the beach bar: Evening saved.