I posted this for BLADE on his "why i dont trust girls"

As i wrote on i realized i would just be selfish if i didnt post it
joke....i just think its funny.....



alright...well blade...my friend Ian and i have this exact same scenario play out every single time we hang out with a chick and take the step towards screwing or are currently screwing.

The key is to start out by saying your not in it for a relationship when you first meet them...in the first 5 minutes of "question and answer" time

then when the subject comes up...its all a matter of her testing how much you believe in what you say you believe in. Stick to your guns, be confident , shrug your shoulders and get that look on your face like " ummmm...didnt we have this conversation?" it will be brief and short...wether she swallows it...or you move on...plain and simple. The key to this is BELIEVING it yourself...that you truly are in it for the fun and no relationship...if you slide , or start getting that " i am into her a little bit"..even a touch!!! your hosed, she wont swallow it and you will have to move on to the next F**** buddy...big deal.


That being said, to avoid un-needed confrontation i like to keep all my dealings seperate. So if i am hanging out with another girl later or am going to do something else, i dont lie...but neglect to drop names or genders. "just hangin out with some friends..why? what are you doing?" when your really going to nail your other f-buddy, or hang out with her at the bar/house/ etc.


THE WAY I DEAL WITH IT:
now if your exact scenario came up....that sucks...because you have to take drastic measures which will ultamitely lose her as an F-buddy. Oh well. Tell her she is pyscho for going through your phone, tell her she knew you were only in it for the fun, and tell her that when she wants to be a normal sane person to call you up. tell her she is just like every other girl and your tired of it. delete her number. Your looking at about a 20% call back rate i have found.

THE WAY MY BUDDY IAN DEALS WITH IT ( better results but not my style)

He sits them down, describes how his divorce has left him a little gun shy and that right now that just isnt an option ...period...then he will say if the sex thing is a problem...you can only be friends or she can choose to not hang out with him if its to much ( yeah right, like any women would actually exhibit self control and NOT hang out with him pshh) He also tells them that he DOES hang out with other girls and he just doesnt want to be tied down ( notice he doesnt say he SCREWS other girls..) and if the other women thing is an issue that they probably should not hang out.

" look amanda Ive told you before...your a great girl i just cant be tied down. My ex-wife treated me like garbage and i am not ready to put myself in that kind of scenario again. I am just out to have fun for a few years and live my life that i didnt have when i was married. If thats an issue then you certainly dont have to hang out with me. Your fun and attractive ( he smiles and throws in some flirt touching) and thats why we hang out. I just cant give anything more. sorry ( at this point he does the shrug shoulders/look )"

the key to this approach is the follow up. You then act like this conversation never happened, call her less, and pay a little less attention to her while she processes this in the next day or to. She'll go to all her friends and talk about it. Go on as if nothing happened, she will get right bachk to where she was.

Ultimately your on a downward spiral with 90% of women. you will start to have this conversation more and more and have to get very strict with her eventually...alas..all is not lost...give it a month break, dont return her calls for a few days and BOOM shes back in the saddle for a few more months.


now remember , He's straighforward and nice about everything but VERY VERY assertive..i have witnessed this conversation many times. Its dyn-o-mite!!

which is why i have three or four all the time, and they constantly cycle out...but the funny thing is, i dont care, which is the true ticket....aloofness, ambiguousness ( big word, stay with me \:\) ) thats the total key. You always need to be the busy one, the one that doesnt care if it happens or not. having more than one helps with this atittude until you get good at it. Then its all a matter of which one you want to call. If you do find a cool one. stick with it, ditch the other two or three for a bit ( drives them crazy) if it works out...it works out...if it doesnt...it doesnt. Make them work for it. If you maintain the aloofness and ambiguousness , it will come across to them that they have to work for it...that you are setting a bar they have to step up to. When you set expectations early on and stick to them, women will rise to those expectations. If they sont ( Aunty M is going to chime in about that last bit) then ditch them, or have fun with it. who cares!?!?!? the total key!!! I have turned church girls, pastors daughters, virgins that were 23 and 24 years old, married women ( not in the last two years, i raised my values a bit) ones that have boyfriends, mormons. You name it...they all do it. You just have to stick to standards and expectations that you set in the beginning and they step right up and do their best to conform to them. then see how far you can push it. you'll know the day you meet one thats worth it...she'll beat you at your own game...and then its on like DOnkey Kong. \:\)

So when they get weird i ditch them. its so fast and complete they miss it in their lives and end up calling me again, SOMETIMES ITS A YEAR LATER OR MORE!!!!

oh man...these two girls i got going right now...one of them has the 8 or 9 body but a 6 in the face...no worries ..she is a FREAKK!!!! girl could suck a golfball through a garden hose!!! doesnt want to stop!! begs to do it!!! calls me up and wants it all the time. she asked me if i liked her or just liked screwing her 5 times a day you know what i said...thats right...screwing \:\) she laughed !!! I said i had'nt decided if i liked her yet...but until i know...the 3 or 4 BJ's in a day are right as rain!

DiRECT COPY AND PASTE FROM MYSPACE
so i know how much you love to plan and all...except for when it comes to putting it in the butt...but i was just wondering if you wanted to plan a little get together. maybe like a picnic or a walk on the beach or something exciting like that we could even hold hands if you wanted. or not. or we could just do it. i'm really f-in horny. i need some headpoundingoncinderblockwall sex. i'll even say please. but not thank you. until then, i'll just be sitting around looking at my phone, waiting for it to ring just to hear the sound of your voice. its music to my ears. i hope we start yelling at each other at 2am again, it really gets me goin. ;\)

hahahahaahahahahahaahahh i cant make this [censored] up!!! thats the way it is!!!


no worries mate! millions of girls out there...but theres only one of me! and only one of you! let them fight over who \:\)


ian , i, and carter at the swiss in tacoma....



yes i am sick....i am aware...but ignorance is bliss as they say


next....

holy shiat!!!!! dueling egos!!!!!

I tried so hard to not look at this post.

I failed

I can tell you this.....I have not met the Merg, but, I have met the Blades. Sometimes PP board impressions are not wholey acturate. Sometimes based on some venting of some sort,or a joke gone bad, some impressions take on a life of their own. Sometimes a small portion of who they are becomes who they are. I got a feeling The Sol and the Blades would get along just fine. Again, I have not met The Merg, but, based on my board impression, I have a feeling that The Merg and The Sol would be clash city. I'd like to see their dynamics in a back porch beer drinking setting, probably some good one liners would come out of that situation.

I can take it on a good day...

Why don't we let Blades and the Merg square up with some 14 oz. gloves on see who the winner is? I'll put my money on Blades.

I gotta agree with Addicted on this one, I mean it is really hard to tell what someone is really like on a bulletin board. By my posts, you might think I am a jokester, or a funny guy to be around, but it is not at all true.

I am a complete tool in real life.

I mean, right now I am wearing cargo pants and a t-shirt that has a sailboat on it, the shirt is tucked into the pants and I got on black socks with Teva sandles. Whats worse is I have several items hanging from my web belt including, a multi-tool, whistle, caribeaner with keys, and a cell phone holster. My watch is digital and I know every single function of it. I work in an office. I am the boss here, and this morning two of my younger staff were having a conversation and laughing so I barged in and said "wazzuuup" like that commercial, and they just turned back to their computer screens. Then last week I was on a construction site, and frankly my Dad never taught me how to swear correctly. I was talking with contractors who can swear without thinking and still get their point across, and akwardly tried to fit my swearing into the conversation, for example: "Well I noticed that your (boring technical stuff) was too high, you'll have to get that fixed." Pause for effect " motherf%%in c0cks!" My swearing syntax is waaay off, and I just get odd looks and head shaking. Plus, I got a bobble head collection, and I drive a stock Corolla, listening to NPR.

So I dont put a lot of stock in this internet stuff vis-a-vis personalities, but it is, f'in dog balls! interesting to read.

Just get the Merg to steal the hood of Blades car and You definitly would have to put your money on Blades.-T I dont have a favorite though,they both have their stong points.

So when I'm hangin' with the Merg at the local watering hole and I get in over my head with some meathead and his buddy, Slugger, Merg can bail me out by solving a math problem out loud?

( a bow) Thank you very much aunty M

But seriously...dont tell anyone...it ruins the whole 'ignorance is bliss' line i have been trying to keep up

we'll just keep that little bit to ourselves alright?

No Sol...i will dazzle them with my ridiculously good looking hair and charm. Or moon them...i can run fast

are you crazy!?!?! as long as we only use our right hands...my 16 oz curls have been frequent of late

Umm,no. He's not.

I think it's funny Mergs ego vs. Blades ego. This should provide some good entertainment. Funny stuff, let the games begin!

awwwww I missed you to jake!! ( tear in eye) its always nice to know your missed. If i didnt know any better Jake the Snake....i would say you are well on to your way to becoming a Merg fan. LMAO!!! gawd i missed you guys.

That there does take some really quick thinking, there seems to be a kinder gentler RT now.

I don't know about that.

I don't think I'm interested in matching my wit against Timber's knuckles. I'd be afraid he'd beat the wit right out of me.

Timber values some good humor though, and I do what I can to keep him laughing.........even throwing a perfectly good rod and reel overboard.

You'll have to tell me the story Marsha.

mergy you hyperactive flamer! where have u been?? shooting up your buddies with roids??