#466133 - 11/07/08 11:35 AM
Re: where's Kevin?
[Re: kevin lund]
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BUCK NASTY!!
Registered: 01/26/00
Posts: 6312
Loc: Vancouver, WA
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Barack Obama discovers a leak under his sink, so he calls Joe the Plumber to come and fix it. Joe drives to Obama's house, which is located in a very nice neighborhood and where it's clear that all the residents make more than $250,000 per year. Joe arrives and takes his tools into the house. Joe is led to the room that contains the leaky pipe under a sink. Joe assesses the problem and tells Obama, who is standing near the door, that it's an easy repair that will take less than 10 minutes. Obama asks Joe how much it will cost. Joe immediately says, "$9,500." "$9,500?" Obama asks, stunned. "But you said it's an easy repair!" "Yes, but what I do is charge a lot more to my clients who make more than $250,000 per year so I can fix the plumbing of everybody who makes less than that for free," explains Joe. "It's always been my philosophy. As a matter of fact, I lobbied government to pass this philosophy as law, and it did pass earlier this year, so now all plumbers have to do business this way. It's known as 'Joe's Fair Plumbing Act of 2008.' Surprised you haven't heard of it, senator." In spite of that, Obama tells Joe there's no way he's paying that much for a small plumbing repair, so Joe leaves. Obama spends the next hour flipping through the phone book looking for another plumber, but he finds that all other plumbing businesses listed have gone out of business. Not wanting to pay Joe's price, Obama does nothing. The leak under Obama's sink goes unrepaired for the next several days. A week later the leak is so bad that Obama has had to put a bucket under the sink. The bucket fills up quickly and has to be emptied every hour, and there's a risk that the room will flood, so Obama calls Joe and pleads with him to return. Joe goes back to Obama's house, looks at the leaky pipe, and says "Let's see this will cost you about $21,000. "A few days ago you told me it would cost $9,500!" Obama quickly fires back. Joe explains the reason for the dramatic increase. "Well, because of the 'Joe's Fair Plumbing Act,' a lot of rich people are learning how to fix their own plumbing, so there are fewer of you paying for all the free plumbing I'm doing for the people who make less than $250,000. As a result, the rate I have to charge my wealthy paying customers rises every day. "Not only that, but for some reason the demand for plumbing work from the group of people who get it for free has skyrocketed, and there's a long waiting list of those who need repairs. This has put a lot of my fellow plumbers out of business, and they're not being replaced nobody is going into the plumbing business because they know they won't make any money. I'm hurting now too all thanks to greedy rich people like you who won't pay their fair share." Obama tries to straighten out the plumber: "Of course you're hurting, Joe! Don't you get it? If all the rich people learn how to fix their own plumbing and you refuse to charge the poorer people for your services, you'll be broke, and then what will you do?" Joe immediately replies, "Run for president, apparently." Ha!!! That was a good one! Keith
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It's time to put the red rubber nose away, clown seasons over.
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#466134 - 11/07/08 11:44 AM
Re: where's Kevin?
[Re: kevin lund]
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Hazmat
Registered: 04/27/04
Posts: 908
Loc: on the river
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Kevin, I know your nobodys fool, maybe someone will adopt you.
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Yes sir you are a fine angler, the wind is a problem. - Scott O'Donnel
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#466170 - 11/07/08 02:00 PM
Re: where's Kevin?
[Re: Mikespike]
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The Chosen One
Registered: 02/09/00
Posts: 13942
Loc: Tuleville
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I accused FnP of being a fish racist a while back 'cause he said he preferred white meat salmon over the usual. I don't think FnP is a racist - I think he just likes those cute white women on the Kenai who were catching, netting, boating their own fish, while "the man" was sitting in the boat directing them, as well as the "right flavor" ones.
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Tule King Paker
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#466226 - 11/07/08 05:08 PM
Re: where's Kevin?
[Re: ]
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River Nutrients
Registered: 03/08/99
Posts: 6732
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John McCain discovers a leak under his sink, so he calls Joe the Plumber to come and fix it.
Joe drives to McCain's house, which is located in one of the most influential neighborhoods in the world and where it's clear that all of the residents wouldn't be caught dead working.
Joe arrives and is ushered quietly through the service entrance. Joe is led to the room that contains the leaky pipe made of gold under a sink. Joe assesses the problem and tells McCain, who is standing near the door in case the low life tries to rob him, that it's an easy repair that will take less than 10 minutes.
McCain say's "so at the new minimum wage we'll round it up to an hour. Here's five bucks" . Seeing the "I can't even buy a burger for that" look on Joe's face McCain adds "and I'll give ya a tax break Joe!".
On his way home Joe is elated. He did hear "tax break" after all.
When Joe arrives back at his business he finds his electricity, water, oil and just about every other cost of doing business has sky rocketed. What was once a living wage has now driven him under. Joe would like to file bankruptcy but he isn't allowed to. He's a little guy after all.
Fortunately for Joe he is still allowed to spend his last dime on a gun. As he points it at his head he ponders "I got a tax break but still went under. How can that be?" As he squeezes the trigger his last thoughts are "damn liberals".
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"You learn more from losing than you do from winning." Lou Pinella
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#466387 - 11/08/08 02:03 AM
Re: where's Kevin?
[Re: Mikespike]
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Dick Nipples
Registered: 03/08/99
Posts: 27838
Loc: Seattle, Washington USA
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The sink in Obama's house leaks. Since it's the White House, four dudes fix it in about eight seconds.
The sink in McCain's house leaks...but he can't remember which house it is that has the leaky sink. When he looks in a mirror, he sees that he has written "House in Malibu has leaky sink!" on his forehead...he immediately sets out to call Joe the Plumber to send him out to fix it, but can't remember Joe's number.
After finding the number scribbled on a dirty napkin in the waste basket, McCain goes to call Joe the Plumber, but forgot where he left the phone.
After a four hour nap, he forgets that he even has a house in Malibu, much less a leaky kitchen sink.
Takes another nap.
Fish on...
Todd
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Team Flying Super Ditch Pickle
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#466389 - 11/08/08 02:13 AM
Re: where's Kevin?
[Re: Todd]
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River Nutrients
Registered: 11/26/06
Posts: 4317
Loc: South Sound
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The sink in Obama's house leaks. So he picks up a wrench and and replaces the S-trap with a new pipe and properly covers the threads with thread tape and a bead of silicone around the slip joint & tightening the new peice in place. The Leak is fixed, so Senator Obama closes the cupboard, unrolls his sleeves, and gets back to figuring out how to fix the humongous fvck-ups Kevin Lund and his fellow Klansmen have made of this country, cursing the day he let that half-wit tax-dodging douchebag Joe the Plumber touch his sink the month before when he was too busy on the campaign trail to do it himself. Hey KKKevin:
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