If she is agreeable to the two of you getting marriage counseling, check to see if there is a man & woman team in your area. Transactional Analysis works well in cutting through the crazy $hit and finding it's roots. Having both a female and male counseling team seeing both of you at once, will offer a feeling of balance and trust. They can also image your actions and speech (role play) to illustrate how buttons get pushed and reality gets blurred. 35 years of practicing the same script requires good professional help in order to change. They will help you to understand and recognize the importance of observing the behavior, and careful listening is essential for breaking the cycle of dysfunctional communication. Less buttons get pushed when we are allowed to hear the crap we say to each other, thinking no harm is done.

Usually there are perceived scarcities at the core of most of most relationship problems. Things would be OK if only there was enough X,Y,Z. Note: Those variables are fluid and can change at anytime in order to maintain the premise that there is just not enough of something (?), and the other person is to blame for it. The economy is at the core of a lot of marital strife these day.

After getting an opinion from the professionals as to what is best for the two of you individually, you will feel better about the situation and better able to adjust in moving forward with your life. Besides, it will help to illustrate your willingness to give it your best shot. Staying in a dysfunctional relationship or marriage for the sake of adding to the number of years as a statistic, is not a good reason, and detrimental to ones health and longevity. BTW, I also recommend having a personal counselor of your choice in the event it looks like you need support in how to move forward with your life as a single, and in dealing with and X that may be bitter and angry; which by the way happens at times..

What Dan said,Good luck,
STRIKE ZONE

P.S. 35 years is alot of time to be dumped down the drain,but if she has made up her mind,then it's time to move on.

You're soooo easy

Gee. Guess that thread died. Wonder why?

AA, please engage brain before starting keyboard.

chas, hope for the very best of the both of you. don't be overly surprised if the wife chooses to bolt! it's happening alot! a friend of mine accross the street is having a similar situation.

I've never got the 35 then go thing???? At that point you'd think things are good and you're enjoying all the work you've put into the relationship up to that point. I spent to much time and emotional energy fruitlessly trying to save my first marriage. In hind-sight it was bad for me and my kids but thought I was doing the right thing at the time trying.

I'm sorry,doctor rick,I didn't mean to upset you.

AA, You didn't upset me. It's just that with a real breezy style you can come off to some people as a lightweight. Thoughtfulness helps.

It depends on what your intentions are.

Tight Lines,

I don't expect anything I post to ever be taken too seriously.

"She was only 13 and she knew how to nasty..." Frank Zappa

"with a garlic aroma that could level Tacoma..."-FZ

And just when my life couldn't seem to suck any more, last night the vet called and to let me know that my best friend, Edgar, has lymphoma. He is only nine and without treatment could only have a couple of months, [censored]

Damn, Chasbo. Hang in there. I've had lots of dog-related highs and lows this year.

Beautiful Golden Chas.

I wish you all the best.

Life does seem to throw you combination punches sometimes.

Sorry to hear about your dog. Best of luck.

Just got back from taking him to grayland for a run on the beach and a bbq

1) After reading the part about the dog, I immediatly let Chomper D back in the house and spent a few minutes spoiling him.

2) My wife quit on me a few years ago, I fought it at the time, though I was very surprized by my own feelings/actions. At this point I am glad she did, who wants to be involved with someone who harbors even a shadow of a doubt as to whether they want to be there ?

3) Man says to Wife,"If you save this marriage one more time...I KEEL YA !!!

Dude that sucks about your dog. I totally retract any and every snide remark I made earlier barring those directed at Fatty M. Hang in there bud.

Dear Mr. Hasbro-

I do not know where you currently stand in your marriage, but this may be of interest to you.