[censored] those [censored] [censored].

So I place an add last week offering up turkey poults, turkey eggs, and pheasant eggs. I start getting calls.

Can you hold the eggs for a week? "No, the eggs will have gone bad by then."

Can you feed them for a week? "Sure, pay for feed in advance, or pay $3 more per bird."

Can I pay part now, part later? "No."

I'd really like some eggs next week. "Great, call back when you are ready."

My incubator isn't clean. "Great, clean it, get it going, come get eggs" Well.........

Really, if I could track them down, there would be a bit of a body count. I might even make the news.

One guy couldn't even talk. Literally, he spoke clear english in spurts. He kept on forgetting what he was saying, lost his train of thought more than three times. I swear I heard him breathing out of his mouth. Maybe he was pausing to lick the window.

If the [censored] hits the fan, we really need to do some culling, quickly.

Fuk that, I always use emails. Weed 80% of the culls before you pass out your phone number to the other 19%.

I've bought and sold a lot of stuff on CL. Culls are always going to be part of the process in using it.

Craigslist flakes are commonly referred to as Codbags. Check out this blog for some laughs: http://codbag.blogspot.com/

Thanks for the Codbag site. I'll be adding that to any conversation that takes more that two emails.

Sold my eggs! Off to send some offensive emails.

The people that annoy me are those that offer half of your asking price as if that is a reasonable or logical starting point, after all my asking prices are ALWAYS exactly double what I expect to accept in the end.


I have had some great results on CL though... items hauled away for free include;

300' of used baseboard mldg
Half a sack of hardened concrete
2000 sq ft of used carpet and pad
Two mirrored closet doors
One traffic cone
Queen sized water mattress


Of course, half of those interested in FREE items request delivery too.

Dude, do you know what you can do with a traffic cone?

Okay... that didn't occur to me until now. Good thing it was free though.

Maybe he was pausing to lick the window.


Ok, now I have to get some cleaner and clean my damn laptop, it was running out my nose and I got it all over my shirt!

Give a guy a heads up next time.


Fishy

I've sold severals things on craigslist, use a hotmail address for the reponses and weed them out that way. Hotmail is good flake filter. If the reponse makes Deliverence banjos go off in my melon, I tell them the item is sold.

Here's my Funny Craigslist story. I just recently advertised a Gun safe for sale, this safe weighs a Half ton and is HUGE 60 X 32X 24. Within minutes I get a response that this guy want's to buy it
"would you take 1400.00 dollars"? I said sure why not. He then tells me he's going to swing by on Saturday to pick it up. I told him to bring lots of muscle with him, he's going to need it. The next day he shows up with his Wife and an older Toyota corolla liftback. I invite him in to look at it, at this point he's still thinking he's going to move it and some how fit it into his Toy. He then asks if I'll take a personal check for it?

I said of course NOT! If you want me told hold it for you, I'll take a hundred dollar non refundable deposit. He said he'll be back with the Hun after he goes to the cash machine. Well he doesn't come back or call, the following day I sold it to another guy.

The following day I get an email saying that he has some cash and want's to swing by with his BIL who has a pickup. I replied back that the safe was now sold. He responds back with the following. YOU'RE A F'N AZZHOLE TO SELL THE SAFE WHEN YOU PROMISED IT TO ME! IT WAS A SHITTING SAFE ANYWAY!

If you want a good Craigslist laugh, here is a guy that messes with people on Craigslist.

http://www.dontevenreply.com/view.php?post=84

I saw this before ahahahahaha classic!!

Got to use the Codbag website on someone today. A client is technically challenged so I posted his car up for sale on craigslist. Gave specific instructions only to call.

This morning I get an email.

"Does the car need any work, are you firm on the price?"

I respond, "I posted the car for a friend, call him about the price and condition of the car. I don't know answers to your questions. Add said calls only, no email."

They respond, "Respond to the e-mail. Answer the questions, then move on to the next step. Or not."

I almost tell them to f-off, but discretion is the better part of valor, so I said, "I am not the seller. My friend asked that I post it for them as they don't have email access. I have no idea on the mechanical condition of the vehicle. It doesn't matter to me if the vehicle sells or not. I guess it is your move, or not.

Have a good day. Please no more emails."

Their reponse after that, "Just bought one. Thanks"

At which time I cod bagged them.

Maybe I posted this before--I don't remember--anyway I don't give a fvck--you get to hear about it again.

I listed a 24" Sony TV for FREE on Oly CL.

Free. As in...Free.

It works. It's color. It has a remote. It works and it's fvckin' FREE...

So after like 14589732 responses in 20 seconds we yank the ad, then the next morning I respond to the 1st, least sketchy email I agree to meet with the guy at the local corner store.

The dick rolls up in a battered Geo Metro with duct tape, coat hanger wire, everything but the clear plastic for a window.

It was an Aberdeen bathtub crank delivery vehicle minus the 24 hr, 1-800 hotline number rattle canned on the side.

So Tweeker McDickerson peels himself out of his schitbox, walks over to the bed of my truck and says "This looks more like a 20 inch!!"

I say "It's fvcking free. Take it or leave it."

He mumbles something then loads the thing into his meth delivery car and takes off.

It was the last time I listed anything on CL and honestly--I was tempted to beat the schit out of the walking skeleton and rob him of his glass pipe and his Funyons for wasting my time and pissing me off.

The end.

You know, I've met a few decent folks selling eggs and birds on Craigslist, but the gems are the ones like you describe above.

My Codbag experience. "Are you firm on the price?" Yes I am. In other words no I will not accept anything less. The Codbag arrives, checks it out and offers less. No. What part of firm didn't you understand? "But that's all of the cash I have". Well you wasted a trip then didn't you?
"Oh looks like my other pocket is printing money. Here you go". I should have then demanded more for the aggravation.

I'll share....

Here's one from my recent ebay listing--

Im not sure what the reserve is but i will be the highest bidder at the close of aution. I hope you consider lowering your reserve to meet my bid.

So much for higher math 'cause his was not the highest bid....

Theres a lot of douchebag lowballers on CL, even worse are the folks who ask you additional questions that could have been answered if they had just read your post. I think craigslist is a great site, I've sold dozens of things on it.

On my CL posts now, the first thing I write is in all caps: "NO FLAKES, AND PLEASE READ MY ENTIRE POST BEFORE EMAILING ME." I'm tired of people wasting my time....

I always put firm in the add, and again over the phone or in the email.
And I always meet at the convienance store closest to my house.
Think that has stopped the craigs listers from low balling again once we meet? I tell them like said above, looks like you wasted a trip, the rest of money comes out.

Never meet at your house, and always go armed is my motto. On big ticket items I've had backup 50 feet away, and have been backup. Paranoid? No, just prepared. Large amounts of cash can bring out interesting people.

My uncle in Chicago had some interesting offers when he was trying to BUY tickets to the Bears/Packers Championship game .. . . quite a few scammers out there when you are dealing with $2k for a few pieces of paper. . . ..