So what are everyones strategies for the rapture this weekend?

Myself...liquour store run and then lay out the guns, ammo, knives, fish bonkers, gaffs, chain saw, weed whacker, Halibut rods. I figure the weed whacker is just for cutting off digits. The halibut rods are strickly for fun. Oh I forgot gas station run so I can make some cocktails to throw. Anything else?

Heard about this on the Bob Rivers show

There was a guy that started a group that will watch the pets of those that go to the "afterlife". He is charging them I think it was $135 per pet. He has over 400 people signed up. No refunds, and the pet watchers are Atheist (so ya know they will be here for 100 yrs before they go to Hell)

I'm as ready for this as I was for Y2K!!
Bring it!

A far as I can figure, the wingnut Christian loonies are going to deprive us of their bible-thumpin' once and for all....

...And the rest of us can simply continue to go about our everyday lives.

I for one would like to see an instant repeal of all blue laws and sin taxes as of 1st thing Monday morning, since all the religious people are gone there will no longer be any religious principles requiring them.

I also think it would be funnier than hell if an unexpected religious group gets "raptured" instead of Christian Taliban types...

...Like maybe Rosicrucians or Shintoists.

"Hey, they were right all this time?"

My wife told me that our kids are going to be with their grandma all weekend.

This rapture weekend is going to be awesome!

Already have a windsurf trip planned, luxury box with friends to see Frank Caliendo (not my thing - except the booze), I might even go fishing, but for sure I am finishing all the week's yard-work tonight and letting RAPTURE WEEKEND 2011 just play itself out.

Sounds more like she's got plans for rubber sheets and gerbils.

Well, we could quit our jobs.

Along those lines I had a client in my office yesterday asking when I was going to submit his permits. I told him "Well, even if I get them in next week, they won't be approved until after the end of the world, so what's the rush?"

Unfortunately he was lacking a sense of humor, and was not up to date with current Christian quackery. So that joke didn't go over as smashingly as I had hoped.

That's like buying a front row ticket after the game is over.

Maybe, the one's left here would not know what's happening on the other side. .. . .. . .. .could be bad, could be good. . . .. . NOBODY KNOWS .. . .that's the kicker. .


I will live life here and now and take what comes next (whatever that is) when the bell goes off on this round. . . . .

I've been cleaning out the bread section at the local grocery stores.









....I'm building an army.

I have my kids this weekend. So, I figure that around nine p.m. we will gather around in a family huddle, I will kiss each on the forehead and tell them I love them. An eternal life of bliss sounds good and they positively exceed the minimum requirements.


One thing is for sure... they would be saved and I certainly will not. According to my ex-wife, I am nearly Satan incarnate himself. Honestly, I have racked up my share of mortal sins in my past and all I can say is...


Life is good as an agnostic.






I will then be applying FishRanger's protocol and if Griz needs an extra hand in his army, I will basically have nothing else to do. Why not?


If anything, there will be less pressure on the rivers for a while... maybe we can all be considered locals at that point.

STAND BACK FOLKS... I'll handle this rapture [censored]... i got this. all good. And you can all thank ME when you wake up on sat... but if it actually goes down, we'll all be dead... so i guess it wont look like i farked it all up anyway. win-win.

Aunty-

You realize I am kidding... right?

"Camping, interviewed on a radio station recently, said the rapture will happen at exactly 6 p.m. Saturday. But it will happen timezone by timezone, meaning the first round of rapturing will happen at 6 p.m. in the International Dateline at 180 longitude. (That’s between Pago Pago, American Samoa and Nuku’alofa, Tonga.)

And that means 11 p.m. Friday for those of us on Pacific Standard Time, according to a doomsday author writing for The Atlantic. That’s when devastating earthquakes will also start, Camping said."

"“Everyone will be weeping and wailing because they’ll know in a few hours it’ll come to their city,” Camping said during an interview with Tina Dupuy."

"It’s going to be a horror story of tremendous proportion.”

I hadn't counted on this. I thought I'd have one more day to prepare. Adding a box of tissues to my list. Keeping my eye out for the bearded one. It'd be real ironic if he made everyone draw straws. I'm guessing at 11 PM PST Todd becomes a mod.

That sounds like a recipe for a photoshopped picture if EVER I have heard one!


That would require someone with talent though.

Screw it I ain't wearing my seatbelt till Sunday.

Just check out Ebay... zero kits or pills listed for rapture survival.


I propose two Tylenol and two Mentos to be taken as soon as all Hell breaks loose; a clear head and fresh breath is always a must in any catastrophe.



I did find this though


www.buzzfeed.com/donnad/9-essential-items-for-your-post-rapture-survival-k

No need to read any further....


BTW AM, duct tape works gr8 on nicked and debarked trees. Plus the cause of tree damage for me (beaver) doesn't like chewing through it. The tape gets wrapped real tight and disintegrates at the same rate as the tree heals....perfect.

Best thing to do is to chug a 1 liter bottle of diet coke then swallow two mint flavored Mentos whole.

Guaranteed Rapture.

...or Rupture, either one.

+666

Too bad I didn't get more notice, I would have ordered a bunch of these! http://www.sportsmansguide.com/net/cb/cb.aspx?a=271438

There are no signs of the rapture because we're ALL going straight to hell.

the 1st timeline has passed without a rapture. by the time it reaches the west coast... well it should be a complete flop.

I learned what to do from reading "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy". Beer and a towel is all that is needed so it sounds a lot like what I used to take on a high school date at the old Thunderbird Drive-in in Marysville.

I'm still here..

Pretty sure being ducked taped to the bed all night was the only thing that saved me.

i'm still on the fence on wether this rapture is gonna actually work. so this morning while at costco. i bought 2 cases of stones in case i get rudely raptured.

Off to pick up some beer just in case the checkers at the McCleary grocery store disappear.

It's already tomorrow in Australia. My wife's rellies called....they are fine, copping a buzz on XXXX bitter and mocking America for giving this wackjob one second of air time.

I'd wait.. in case they are raptured...free beer is as close to heaven as it gets in this life.

Plus a million on the XXXX bitter. I wish they would import good aussie beer here, instead of Fosters, which no self respecting Auzzie would touch.,

I think we missed it. Was supposed to be at 6pm Eastern. Now what am I going to do with all these dogs?

Still here in McCleary.

I wasn't planning on going anywhere anyway.

Well...I guess I should try to take this porsche back and go and get an aids test, I wonder if my boss wil take me back Monday? I'm just gonna walk in the office like nothing happened...

My rapture preparedness kit involved a single jar of pickled quail eggs I figured I could use to buy entrance to your compound.

That might have worked. Bring your ammo when you do, though. We'll need it.

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/rapture

I'm feeling the same way. head and bowels have been raptured for sure.....

I was one of the chosen and got raptured. Got back late last night as my "mission wasn't complete yet". They serve a mean breakfast up there but apologized about the remodeling. The only thing that stood out to me was the Bin Laden door mat I was told to wipe my feet on. All in all I highly recommend getting raptured at least once in your life. Unfortunately I have no proof of any of this.