When the Church People come to your door?

Seems like every other month, a compact sedan with some eldery folks make the trek down my driveway and the brave one gets out and knocks on the door.

Sometimes I'm sorta nice. Today, well, perhaps not so nice. After repeated rings to the door bell, I answered the front door by just a crack and blurted out... " Not Interested...Go Away " So the guy trys to shove his glossy covered church speak propaganda through the crack in the door. I pinched that sucker in the door jamb with all the groceries I had going for me. After a second or perhaps two, I let it go. Off he went mumbling sumptin' about some sinner not gonna be welcome in heaven.

Gezzus, I mean really.

As a young apprentince, then a fledgling journey machinist, I worked my share of graveyard shifts at Boeing in the early 1980's. I lived in Renton at the time and the Jehova Witness folks would come by on a regular basis letting me know that they were praying for me. They stopped waking me up after I would fail to get dressed before answering the door.... Go Figure.

Anyone that comes to my home to sell me anything including religion gets the same reaction. I hold up my hand, tell them to stop talking, that I have no interest in anything they have to say, they should leave now as they are trespassing on my property without permission and that this is polite as I am going to be. Generally, they don't say anything, turn around and leave.

With consideration to the content of your post, these were some funny lines.

I have have never had the gall to physically hurt one of those types but I'd be lying if I said it hadn't crossed my mind at least once.

Used to have a group show up and drop flyers off at my house all the time, I had to pick those things up out of my pine trees way too many times. After being out of town for some time came back and these things were all over my front yard, I mean like two bushel baskets worth. So I cleaned them up and during their next meeting I went up there and drove all the way around their newly planted lawn digging as I went and threw those flyers all over the place and yelling at them never to set foot on my property again, never had a problem again.

You could give this a try!

Yes I was young and did some stupid things once.


Fishy

I picked up a hand carved quran holder in Uzebekistan that now holds a nice shiny quran (of course).

If and when they can't read the "No Solicitors" sign at my door and still bother to knock, The good Rev. Dr. Paker invites them in for a reading of the quran.

Had a pair come in...all excited they had some fresh biblical/mormon/Jehova/Christian (I forget which) meat...only to realize in HORROR that yes, I really was going to read the quran to them and ask them why they are not embracing islam.

Allah AkPaker! Death to the Infidelities!

This Rev. Dr. Paker is so going to...er...Hell? Not too sure where infidels go....I know the "good" islams go to a pod of virgins...but where do the other 99% go?

I just politely tell them I am not interested, but thanks anyway. I do not begrudge any sales person doing their job, we all sell something.

Apparently, TJ is only a cock around here.

Fishy

I was playing catch with my son a while a go when a couple of Mormon kids came up, we talked for over an hour about football, fishing and hunting. The one kid was an ex-quarterback for his highschool team and threw some passes to my son. They were good dudes and didn't get the snub from me.

If you can't read the no tresspassing and beware of the dog signs......the dogs will give you a less than "gentile" reminder.......nobody gets beyond them without my OK. The youngest son tried to drive through them.....as soon as he hopped out, the dog put him up on his car hood before I could call them back. UPS and such no longer go beyond the gate. And neighbor's stay on their side of the fences. Kinda nice.

I have started wearing my gun on my hip when I answer the door, they usually move right along no matter how nice I am.....


Fishy

My signs usually keep unwanted people away.

I sort of have a quiet regard for their willingness to go door to door like that. Sales is hard, and door to door cold sales has to be about the worst job ever. I respect that and so I take it easy on them and just be polite, frank and honest:

"I get a raging boner every time I discuss religion. Fair warning. Now come on in lets talk about Jesus."

Yardage markers with holes tend to keep people away.

No salesman, religious or otherwise, is welcome at my place. I find it absolutely rude (and potentially dangerous) to walk down someone's driveway unless I've called THEM to provide a service.

I had the JW's about a month ago. Stopped them before they even made it to my house. "Not interested but thank you" and waved them away. They seemed really stunned, which surprised me because I figure that would be the normal response they receive. I get the feeling though that most people are too "nice" to be this direct. The JW's STILL started to try to talk to me. I said, "I'm not interested but I wish you well." which was going to be my last friendly words. Fortunately, they turned away.

I will say that in my personal experience, nearly every mormon I've met is a genuinely nice person so it isn't that I think they are "jerks", I just think that anyone randomly showing up to strangers' houses is misguided.

I ask them if they would like to listen to me try to sell them some aluminum siding. If they don't want to listen to that, I don't want to listen to them try to sell religion.

The Jehovah's Witnesses and the Mormon Missionaries come knocking
on the door now and then. I do not subscribe to either take on the
way things work. However, I find it not difficult to be polite to them
and offer a smile and a 'have a good day'.
Their beliefs require some proselytizing so why persecute them?
The state of Illinois killed some Mormons, Rome killed a bunch of
Christians, Adolph killed a bunch of Jews and Gypsies.
Never forget.
Transcend the Bullchit.

^^^This... I have been left to deal with the Mormon crew by several homeowners . . . they like to duck back into the house when they seem them coming and leave the "contractor" to deal with them.
Every time they turn out to be nice polite kids who would rather talk about sports, construction or fishing it seems .. .

Now the JW's who show up at MY place. . . .that is a different story, they are fairly polite, in a "let me tell you what I think", pushy sort of way. . . . and continue to come back after being told no thank you. . .

I also answer the door with my .45 on my hip most times......

I don't wish them ill, I just think its very rude to assume that because you can walk up to my door or that I am outside that I have an obligation to stop what I am doing to hear whatever you are trying to sell.

If its so great I will go and beat their door down.


Fishy

I was under my truck one day and saw some shoes coming up the driveway. Asked the guy what he wanted(I was still under the truck) and he was trying to sell me a security system. Told him I had a dog for that. He said that's not good enough. I said it will be good enough for you. He left.