I really appreciated all the response to my Funny Fishing Stories post. Some of the stories may make it into the REEL TRUTH book. I think people would be interested in fishing stories involving bears, both funny and NOT. I encourage your stories in reply here. - I have only been charged by a bear once. A "false charge" (stopping short to intimidate - it works!) by a black bear while flyfishing Idaho's St. Joe R. near the Bitteroot Mountains. That occurance convinced me to take a large cannister of powerful "Bearspray" (12% capsasin- Mase is 5%) when towing a sledboat up the AK Hwy. in the late 80's to camp & fish on the Kenai Pennisula. On the way up we stopped at a garbage dump near Tok, AK to observe 3 large black bears foraging. I figured this would be an excellent opportunity to both practice my quick draw (this can had a holster) and to see how affective it would be on the bears (clarification- a light spray from about 100 feet away was planned, to see if they showed an aversion to the brand I had purchased; no intent to harm wildlife or even the possibilty under those circumstances!). While my 2 companions watched from the Wagoneer, I walked a short distance to get the breeze behind me toward the bears, who had stopped foraging to keep an eye on me. I pretripped the safety latch and proceeded with an attempt to impress my buddies with my Wyatt Earp like draw. In my haste I accidently grabbed the trigger along with the handle and at the same time the cannister tilted downward instead of popping out of the holster. Thus I sprayed a large reddish swath of this stuff down my right pantleg. Fortunately, the breeze carried off most of the spray cloud; missing the bears. What was left on my pants sent me into a scary uncontrollable coughing fit as I frantically tried to rip my pants off. When accomplished, I threw them as far away as possible. It wasn't funny at the time- at least I didn't think so. My "buddies" sure got a good laugh though. The bears meantime had run off into the nearby woods. Since the spray missed them I'm quite sure it was the sight of a crazy coughing clown ripping his pants off that scared them away. So I figure if you ever run into a bear with no spray or gun along, just cough wildly and rip off your pants! Just be sure it isn't a boar during mating season! - Steve Hanson

[This message has been edited by Reel Truth (edited 03-26-2000).]

Here's one worth sharing:

About 10-12 years ago, I took my dad down to the barrier dam on the cowlitz one summer afternoon to try for summer-runs. To those of you familiar with the barrier dam, we walked on down the clay bluff about a 3-400 yards below the boat ramp-an easy task in the low water of summer. You know that walking the clay bank along the water is easy but you cannot go uphill because of the verticle cliff behind you. This fact plays into the story in a moment.

Dad was an experienced outdoorsman being a forester and he had seen many bears in his day.

Well, here we are fishin away and I'm showing dad the finer points of drift fishing when all of a sudden we here this crashing around in the bushes on the gravel bar across the river. This catches our attention and suddenly...up pops the head of a bear. Well, feeling safe because we are on the other side of the river, we keep a fishin because the bear is just strolling around on the gravel bar......until it tore into the biggest f____ing hornets nest I've ever seen. Now the bear is pissed and immediately jumps in the river and starts swimming across to our side about a hundred yards above us. "No sweat" says dad, "it will just go up the hill when it sees us!"
Once on our side, the now highly aggitated bear sees us- and starts running towards us. "let's get the hell out of here" I yelled. Dad was no where to be seen......he was already up the nearest tree! "Get your ass up here" he hollered back. I obliged.

Well, we spent the next 2 hours up in the tree because the damn bear stewed around on the hillside for that time.

We looked(and felt) pretty stupid as the sleds going by free drifting wondered what the hell we were doing because they couldn't see the bear. Got some mighty strange looks!
An hour into the ordeal we were laughing so hard we almost fell out of the tree.

I now get a second opinion when dad talks about bears.

Reel truth, going to spray the bears just to see if the pepper spray works.You got just what you deserved !Your lucky you did not win the Darwin award for that bone head move.Please stay in the lower 48 you wont live long like that.Sorry to be so harsh, but your in the bears home.How would you like it if someone came into your house and hosed you down with pepper spray?Think about it!!!

right on kingfisher!!!
Reel i did not find your story humerous. I was curious, do you like to throw rocks at wildlife, I bet your the kind of guy that practices target shooting on road signs up in the mountains!
Respect wildlife or get out of the woods!!!

The first bear I ever saw was in Yellow Stone park. It was a griz. It was scratching its butt on a tree while all these cars were stopped looking at it. When it walked away from the tree it had about 2 foot of plastic garbage bag hanging out its ass that it had eaten and could not digest and it was just hanging out its butt.... They want to re-introduce them to Idaho.. same people who stuffed wolves down our thoats..

Kingfisher & Steelhead Addict - U are both the type of quick jump to conclusion, jump on somebodies ass, anal retentives that cause negative crap throwing on here w/o knowing what the hell U are talking about; nor bothering to either THINK or ask Q's before shooting your mouths off!! Did U actually think I would walk up to spray this stuff right near the bears?? The intent was to tap spray a very small amount into a downward soft breeze from about 100 feet away to see if they showed any signs of aversion to the strength in my individual cannister. I don't care to trust my life to assembly line workers. If U want something worhty to snibble about, watch the film of Dr. Charles Jonkle of the U. of Montana, who invented this product for N. Rockies hikers, spray 2 black bears at close range in a cage to test both the affectiveness and the potential side affects on the bears; while I don't agree with his tactic it did prove affective and did NOT harm the bears. They simply retract & sneeze, while people get hard coughing fits. And his invention and testing has been credited by the Montana Dept. of Fish & Wildlife for saving a number of lives of people hiking the Bob Marshall Wilderness & Glacier National Park. And probably a lot of others in B.C. & AK. WITHOUT a single incidence of harm to a bear!! In fact it has saved many bears from getting shot to death!- Also, U both saw fit to make utterly baseless & wrong guesses about other things I MIGHT have done. About as dumb as if I were to suggest U guys hump sheep based on your posts! Do U? - Anyway, keep the good bear stories coming. (Tender lightweights need not click on the subject).- The Real Truth - P.S.- Kingfisher, right you are below. Excuse the oversight of me grouping you with the S.A. fool embarrassment post. And I am aware of how fast bears run; especially browns. I stayed pretty close to the Wagoneer. Thanks, good fishing.

[This message has been edited by Reel Truth (edited 03-27-2000).]

Reel truth, you should see the stupid things people do up here,they see a moose or bear they will stop right in the middle of the highway and try to get as close as they can to it.In your post YOU said you were going to give them a light spray from a 100 feet away. Well sir, have you ever seen how fast a bear can cover 100 feet? It will shock you!!I nowhere in my post made "utterly baseless & wrong guesses about other things" you might have done.I did say you were lucky that you did not win the Darwin award,and I stand by that!!Glad you trust your life to that pepper spray,I DONT !!Oh well,spring is close at hand up here,and that means the fish and the outsiders will be getting here for another wild summer of fishing!!!

Great story Reel sounds like a little research and development study you have bigger ones than I do .I once saw a film of a grizzly run down from behind and kill instantly a very large Elk ...so you can have the Bears ...I find it very heart warming that Steelie addict is so conserned about you're safety,hang in their I enjoy you're posts.....Why does it smell like SHEEP in here ?

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Tight Lines
FISH ON ------<*)>><
Men are like fish we get into trouble when we open our mouths to much!!

Kingfisher- Right you are & point well taken. Excuse my oversight in grouping you with the S.A. fool embarrass himself post. And yes, I have seen film footage of how fast bears can sprint, especially browns! I stayed fairly close to the Wagoneer for that reason. Good fishing to you this summer. - How about let's get back to some more interesting or funny fishing near bears stories. - I'll tell a short one about a buddy in reply post below.- RT

I have watched on some outdoor TV show, filmed up north in AK, that the bears near some of the commonly bank fished salmon streams have learned to wait in the bushes, then when an angler hooks one the bear runs out and grabs the easy meal on the end of the scared/pissed fisherman's line. Some friends of mine fish an area north of Terrace B.C. for salmon, with bears always nearby. They have experienced this fish stealing act firsthand. One of them, F.C., was busy watching his float drift several times. Upon one of his retrieves he turned to see a black bear had quietly sauntered up and was sitting right behind him, on his haunches just like it was his pet dog. Within 5 ft.! FC slowly turned and backed away while looking slightly to the side, as he had been told to do. Worked fine. Nothing on or in his pants either! The bear just wandered off the other way. I think FC will pay a little more attention around him from now on. I ribbed him that the bear had probably been watching for a few days and knew it would take FC a long time to hook a fish, so it was just being patient. - I am making the trip up with them this year. And King., I promise not to spray anything this time unless I am actually charged by a bear. - Steve

Reeltruth, A few years ago myself and a buddy were fly fishing the Naha river just north of Ketchikan, it requires a boat to get to the mouth and than a mile hike up a forest service trail to get to fishable water. about a mile and a half up stream is a church youth camp which had about 20-25 kids out playing in the yard, just as Dave and I arrived here we spotted a young bear on the opposite side laying in some tall grass, about the same time the camp director spots this bear and calls all the kids inside, then proceeds to drive a quad and trailer out of a shed down to the edge of the river, inside this trailer is something that looks like a grenade launcher, this guys proceeds to launch about 5-6 flares at this bear who justs sits there watching these things sail by, kinda like someone watching a fireworks show, the bear finally gets bored or curious and comes across the river right into camp, directer getting kinda nervous takes off at a dead run back to the camp, the bear heads right over to the trailer and starts chewing things up, gets tired and laid down right against the trailer, this all took place over about 15 to 20 min. On our way out a few hours later some of the kids tell us the bear stayed for about an hour and finally wandered off. We both still laugh about that bear and the fearless camp leader.

Okay, boys..I know there are bears in Alaska...did all of these "bear stories" take place there..or are we talking on the Olympic Peninsula also? I would like to be aware to I don't become the last link on the food chain up there. I'm not too good at climbing trees..nor do I think I could outrun one...haha Maybe I better just stay in the boat and forget fishing off the bank??? haha...

My two buddy's and I are fishing Badboy Cr., on the Penn. We hear a bunch of yelling downstream, so we investigate. A guy with two Steelhead on a rope tied to his waist, is fighting a fish, with his buddy knee deep in the cr. chasing it around. They are so engrossed in this, I get ten feet behind them and the guy fighting the fish looked at me like he's seeing a ghost. Giving him the benifit of the doubt(it could be possible he's nice enough to carry a friends fish, ya sure) I just say "looks like your fishing for bear's" and head downstream. Well big Dan decides he's going to keep them honest, and stay's back to make sure at least one of them quits fishing, with 3 on the bank. Well a few minute's go's by and Dan hails us to come look at these guy's footprint's, with just as fresh Moma and cub print's following them upstream. You know the hairs on the back of neck's was tingling when we startled those guy's!

O.K guys, this is a hunting bear story but it comes up every year at elk camp.

We hunt up near the Selway. Some folks we have gotten to know over the years have a spike camp that they pack in about 6 miles up the mountain from their main camp. Quite a deal, takes many trips with the horses to get it all done. One year, they went in the night before opening day and found that the camp was totally trashed.. Tents ripped up etc. A bear had stopped by and helped itself. The funny part comes with the range in this bears taste. It tore apart the colman stoves to lick the old grease out of them. It drank a bottle of Joy dish washing soap. They had several 12 packs of pop and beer in the spring. It drank all the beer, all the regular pop, and one can of diet pepsi.. Its as if it could read the labels and thought diet pepsi tasted like crap. The best was the pile of snickers candy bar wrappers. It sat there and ate 3 bags of the small bars one at a time and left all the wrappers in a pile. These guys were pissed off. One said if he could find it he would shoot that bear..We told him it should be pretty easy to do. Any bear that just drank 50 cans of beer and a bottle of dishwashing soap should be passed out blowing bubbles behind a bush somewhere !!!

Remember, you don't have to run faster than the bear...just faster than your PARTNER...he-he

Bruce...I think I fall short there too...guess I need to reassess who my fishing partner might be...haha

Fishld, if your the slowest guy in the group pack the 12 gauge, when bear charges, take out buddies knee.

Here is a bear hunting story for you that was told to me by a guy at a gas station the week before last years bear season.

He and two of his buddies were headed up to Ely Minnesota to hunt bears. Baiting is legal in Minnesota, so they had made several trips up to start their baits, so they were hot before they started hunting. I may also add that you can start baiting about two weeks before the season opens. Anyway, it's now time to hunt. The three guys set up camp out in the woods, within a mile or so of where they are hunting, and have a little bear activity around their camp. One guy is very very very nervous about being camped around the baits, as he is deathly afraid of bears. One night, the guy decides to leave the tent in the dark, and make kaka in the woods. He puts on his shorts, grabs some toilet paper and takes a short walk to a nearby log. He lowers his shorts, and proceeds to poop. In the middle of the act, he feels a cold nose and a raspy tongue on his butt cheek. With his shorts around his ankles, flashlight in his mouth, and un-wiped booty, he takes off like a shot, and falls flat on his face. The craeture pins him down to the ground, and starts chomping at the back of his neck and butt. he screams, yells, and raises all kinds of holy hell. His buddies come ripping out of the tent with a gun and a flashlight, to find their 100 pound black lab on top of the guy.

The guy at the gas station nearly wet himself telling me the story.

We had a guy in our group that was the same way. When he went outside to use the outside shitter in the middle of the night, I followed him. As soon as he sat on the throne, I drug a garden rake on the roof, and walls of the latrine about twenty times, and he screamed for a half hour. I snuck back in the cabin, and we laugehed our butts off. He spent the night in the shitter. Kind of cold with just your underwear on when it's 50 degrees outside.

Oh man, these stories are hillarious!! Keep em coming! When I read some of the silly stuff people do around bears it reminds me of others I have heard.- Hey KF, my uncle surely would have been a candidate for that Darwin award back about mid-century in Yellowstone. It was before they capped the garbage cans. A yearling blackbear was halfway into a tipped over can eating garbage. My unc & pals were a few feet away inside a cabin watching the bear while drinking JD. Unc up and grabs a long piece of firewood and sneaks up on the dinner guest and whacks it on the rump, and scampers back inside. Well the startled bear ran the other way but....!- And about guys scared half to death of bears; one of the guys that I mentioned fish Kings north of Terrace B.C. is like that. Whenever he hears the slightest sounds in the bushes he starts a rediculous routine of real loud barking like a dog. Might work? Don't some griz chase dogs? I have heard one story of just that, with a dog that had wandered off only to run squealing into camp with a griz on his tail! Good doggy- not.- And B-Run Steely; I spent my first 6 yrs. of life living in Missoula before moving to NW Oregon ever since. We often would take the longer route over Lolo Pass when we went back annually to stay with Gram & Gramp. As I got into Steelhead fishing I would marvel when looking at the Clearwater River's tribs, the Locksa & Selway, picturing huge nates swimming all that way up to there to spawn! Ditto for Stanley Basin on the upper Salmon R. Anyway, a couple Q's for U. Do the Locksa & Selway still get Steelhead or King nates up there? Or only B-run Dworshak hats in the Clearwater R.? And I have heard that there is a significant comeback of grizzlies in the Selway-Bitteroot Wildeness area, as well as in the Salmon R. montains. Any reflections on those 2 things? Thanks, Steve

Akkings...Not a guy..but I could easily shoot the kneecap...well, who knows..you know the stories about scared woman with a gun in her hand..haha