I was all wound up to reply to some of the recent subjects that have been hot, all the absolutes voiced, and the personal nature of some of the responses. Then I told myself to relax. Then I thought a little self-examination was in order.

Anyway, this is what I ended up with after examining some of my strongly held opinions. I guess at the end of the exercise, I would tell myself to lighten up. There is more than one valid way to skin a cat. I don't know quite what it is, but I call it Myopia.

Look at them steelheaders, ain't they high and mighty?
Tossin they hate out, both left and righty.

Ain't no discussion, middle ground or debate;
If it ain't somethin' they love, then it's somethin' they hate.

Hate them commercial guys catchin' they fish;
That they'd all go to Hell is they one fondest wish.

Hatin' all other steelheaders in the worstest way,
'Cause they might just see one on they river some day.

Hatin' them guides hoggin' up all they rivers;
Like to cut 'em all up and roast all they livers.

An' them guides hate 'em back for cathin' fish without guides,
'Cause fishless clients will question they guides' bona fides.

Them steelheaders in drift boats, they give sleds a big curse,
To which them in them sleds gives out just the vice vers'.

All o'them boaters hatin' all them on the bank;
Like to throw 'um in a meat grinder, then take turns on the crank.

An' them on the banks hates right back at them boaters;
Hates all them with paddles and all them with motors.

Them boaters could fish the whole stream end to end,
But they stop right in front of you and drop they gear in.

Locals hate tourists and tourists hate locals;
About who hates who more, they's both very vocal.

An' ev'r steelheader thinks the river's all his just because,
He was out on the river today 'fore you was.

An' ev'r'one else's gear is just crap, or costs way too much;
And ev'r'one else's river etiquette sucks.

Ev'r cracker downstream's ruined steelheader's fun;
An' ev'r Gomer upstream's put down all the fish in the run.

Steelheader's the only'st one really CAUGHT fish (that's not braggin');
It's jus' ev'r'one else's either linin' or snaggin'.

Them that get more fish, if they mention they sums,
is just meat fishers, numbers guys, an' other such slimy pond scums.

Them that gets less fish, well, of course, they's all slackers;
A bunch of lazy, city-slick, egg sucking crackers.

Let steelheader lose a fish - it was a screaming, red hot, native chromer.
You lose a fish - you're a greenhorn, fish farming, cracker-assed Gomer.

Steelheader drift fishes. Well, that's just fine.
That meathod's proved out over time.

But, next breath, steelheader cain't help but say -
All others is crackers what don't fish this way!

'Tween bites and the bottom, steelheaders in tune,
And if you ain't, well, you're just a neophyte goon.

. . . And all o'them using longer leaders
is a bunch of fish-linin', bottomfeeders. .

. . . And if your leader's one pound more,
you're an inbred, cross-eyed, fish-snaggin' whore. . .

. . . And if you're leader's a little light,
you're killin' the fish cause of way too much fight. . .

Steeheader ain't never, ever crossed up no one's line,
But sure hates all them as crosses him up all the time.

Steelheader cain't jus' prefer his own way,
But's got to jus' hate how others might play.

Spin and spoon fishers - they's jus' fish-rippin' snaggers, ya'll.
An' float fishers, they ain't got no skills at all.

But steelheader reserves a special, white-hot kind of hate
For them as likes puttin' steelhead on they plate.

Want to be a steelheader? It ain't never too late;
Jus' get all myopic, get out there and hate.

I gotta say, Tad, you got skills. That was a desription of steelheaders to the letter. I'm as guilty as the next guy.....I've been known to laugh at guys for no particular reason, and curse at guys for no particular reason.

When you think about it more closely though, you could have used that SAME poem studded with different terms to describe most groups of people. When you're driving, everyone going slower than you is a dumba$$, and everyone going faster than you is a psycho. At the Post Office, the guy in front of you holding up the line is a di(khead, and people who are impatient behind you are a$$holes.

I think we'd all live longer if we just mellowed out a bit. After reading your fine poem, I'm going to try mellowing out a little myself. Thanks, TD.

Great, great poem. And the scary thing is that it's all TRUE!!!

You hit the nail on the head with that poem.

CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP!

Well done! You sure hit the nail on the head with that one.

AWESOME POST&POEM
Used to fish from the bank with this guy for years and everytime a driftboater would anchor up in front of us he would scream---------YOU GOT THE WHOLE RIVER, WHY ARE YOU FISHIN HERE?-Then, he got a driftboat and I floated with him down the river to the same hole early in the morning and there was a bankie with the prime spot. We anchored up, right in front of this guy and he said what a bunch of bullsheyat and my buddy said WHAT?, You got the whole bank.
Typical steelheader & and the reason I don't hunt!!!!!!!!!!

T Dodge,

You should copyright the poem, and get it published somewhere. I'm sure any outdoor publication would be glad to print it.

Well done! You should submit this to STS and F&H Lies! It is so dead-on!
I know I get bent on some of the stupidest things. Really gives you some perspective.

TD

You should get RT to put them in his new book!

Cowlitzfisherman

Is the taste of the bait worth the sting of the hook????

Well said,Tad, and deserving of wide distribution!
This also illustrates the apparently impossible task of getting ALL sport fishers to unite, when not even steelheaders can come together!
Maybe you can do a sequel on the stereotypes of the "beer-swilling Bubbas" who fish for bass, and the "scotch-sipping pompous arses" who fly fish. Etc,etc. More myopia, but still too common!
As someone else has said, "United we bargain, divided we beg." Looks like we're destined to be beggars...

Man oh man you've got it right. Kinda sad to see myself in this little ditty, got ta do better. Thanks for this, I love it and will try and do better.

Great reminder for everybody,Useful in most most facets of our lives.
GREAT JOB

Good reminder for everybody.We can all use it in most facets of our lives.
GREAT JOB

You Go Tad.Great poem.

Thats the only "RAP" I ever heard that I enjoyed.