Author Topic: Funny Fishing Stories (from year 2000 - revisted)
RT unleeshed posted 03-09-2000
I would like to hear a few funny short fishing stories! - I will start with a true one.- Back in my fulltime guiding days I would have to occassionlly fish in extreme conditions if fish were biting. One freezing January day I met a pair of new clients by Tillamook's Wilson R. The Steelhead were concentrated in the middle high banked area of the river. There are a couple of very steep long wooden driftboat launches there. The "Siskyville" launch had about a 1/4" buildup of ice on the launch rails. We carefully positioned my driftboat on the upper flat part. I told the client to hold it there while I slacked about 5' to 7' of winch rope. Then I nudged it over the edge (we both thought the other had hold of it). Well that boat did 0 to 60 mph in that few feet of slack, snapped the ropeknot like it was twine, & did 60 to 90? down the ramp with the rail side uprights holding it on the ramp. When that rocket hit the water the splash reminded me of the old loggin' flumes! And it, honest to goodness, did a triple skip across the river like a hard thrown skipper rock!... I just starred, dropmouth stunned, at my boat for a moment. Then I turned to the new clients & said "so, how do you like me so far? WAIT 'TILL YA SEE ME ROW", had to start yelling as they were already running back to their truck (jk). Actually, the boat drifted downriver a few holes. Fortunately, another boater arrived. He declined our offer to help him launch. They found & secured my boat though. We did get into some fish that day, but I got no tip. - Steve Hanson (RT)
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hawk posted 04-12-2000 04:57am
So here I am living a dream. Not more than 5 yards down river from me dressed in new Orvis neoprene waders, a "River Runs Through It" hat, an Orvis vest, and a G Loomis nine foot 8 weight rod stands Cliffy Claven. I got the privelage of fishing near him for three straight days, sharing fishing yarns of his many conquests with the "Mighty Steelhead" and his exploits of 200 fish spring seasons on the Brule River in Northern Wisconsin (which is almost impossible for a mortal man). To whom did I owe, for this beautiful moment in time, where I could share fishing stories, and trivia at the same time?
Cliffy and I became real "chums" over those three days, as he explained the finer points of establishing a productive drift for the "Mighty Steelhead". He would tell me of making his presentation, feeling the methodical tapping of lead on gravel, and at the opportune moment, "striking" the fish. I was saddened after three days to not see Cliffy put this technique to use, after my "other" friend and I had hooked over 60 fish a day each. Could Cliffy be jinxed, on this river? Surely he couldn't be knitting yet another yarn, and slightly overstating his fishing prowess.
Needless to say, late in the 3rd day, the blessed moment occured, and Cliffy "struck' a fish. The hook came out of the fish under much pressure, sending the tip of his Loomis fly rod in to a tree limb, thus shortening it by a foot. He now had a three piece 8 foot, 1 foot, 8 weight rod. He was emotionally horrified. He headed up the bank, shattered rod and dreams in hand, never to be seen again.
It was at this time that my "other" friend that I have known since 10th grade decided to re-live that fateful moment that Cliffy had just experienced. So Chuck (my other friend)says " I stealthily cast my line to the holding area of the pool, tightened my line for the rythmic tap of lead on gravel, detected a hesitation in my drift, and "struck the fish". This doesn't seem life threatining does it? It was.
Let me tell you that at this very moment, I had lost my rig, and was snelling up another hook with yarn. I had a 1 inch piece of yarn held loosely in my left hand, and the hook in my right hand. At the end of Chucks story, I inhaled so violently, to keep from losing it, and sucked the 1 inch piece of yarn directly in to my lungs. I was instantly vapor locked, and choking. I could not get a single bit of air in to my system. The river was running fairly hard, and was up to my waist in water. I didn't want to drop my rod, so I continued to stumble around in the middle of the river. I was ckoing big time. I was getting dizzy and light headed, and thought it was all over. Chuck saw the yarn dissapear in to my lungs, and was laughing too hard to be of any help (paybacks are hell). All of a sudden, I got a shot of air, and puked up some flem, and mixed in it was 6 inch long pieces of golden nugget glo bug yarn. I continued to dry heave and blow up 6 inch chunks of yarn for almost 10 minutes. There was a flem and yarn slick that covered the next three guys directly down river from me. Repulsed, they started to back out of the river. Now, I want to know how a piece of yarn goes in your lungs, at 1 inch in length, and comes out 6 times longer a few mintues later. I figure I hurled up about three bags of Glo bug Yarn by the time I was done. Just enough to make a size XL Golden Nugget cardigan without buttons.
I dry heaved so long, that Chuck and the guy next to me were bent over blowing chow in the river, and another friend of ours ran across the bridge, and back down in to the river thinking he was going to have to give me CPR. I know it's hard to believe, but I almost got killed by a 1 inch long piece of glo bug yarn. When Andy Matthews says its "fluffy" he ain't just a ****tin ya, because you can't breath with it in your lungs. Cliffy, if you are out there, I miss you. Hawk
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potter posted 03-09-2000 05:13pm
I had a retired football player and his wife from Texas out chinook fishing. I anchored up and passed out he cured salmon eggs for bait. He put his eggs on his hook and began to fish. I looked down to rig up and when I looked up she was eating hers! I felt bad, she didn't see her husband put his on his hook and thought I was passing out a treat. That borax in the cure must have been aweful!
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JTownley posted 03-09-2000 07:58pm
While fishing the Yellowstone river near Buffalo Ford many years ago, I witnessed a funny fishing situation. An Eddie Bauer type dude waded next to me, lit up a big cigar and began fishing. He had all new and spendy equipment, in fact the cork on his fly rod still had the plastic wrapper on it. He was loud and full of bravado. A hatch came on and the cutthroat were really on the bite. Most of us had nearly nonstop action, except for the dude. After about an hour of fishless effort and many fly changes the dude starts cussing and yelling about how stupid the cutthroats are. He breaks off his fly tosses it in the river and begins to turn to shore only to look back and see his fly be gulped down by a big cutthroat. He goes ballistic and breaks his rod over his knee and heaves it into the middle of the Yellowstone. I tried to snag it but never did.
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fishkisser99 posted 03-09-2000 08:13pm
Once while fishing a lake here on Orcas I noticed a woodpecker knocking away at a snag right at the waterline. I could see little pieces of wood fluttering down into the water, about a foot off of the steep rock bank. A fish rose right where that stuff was landing, and then rose again. I hurredly tied on a black ant and crept the canoe as close as I dared, then sat that fly right where the rises had been. No hesitation there--an immediate take and a fine series of jumps before I boated and released a spunky 16" cutt. Now I'm always looking and listening for woodpeckers...
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First Cast posted 03-09-2000 09:10pm
Last October I was summer Steelhead fishing with my very competitive Brother-in-law. It was just starting to get light as we were walking down to the drift. As we got close to the water, he starts picking up the pace so he would get first cast in the hole. I yelled to him that I'd just simply cast over him. We were both using a bobber/jig outfit. He cast to the top of the drift and I cast about 10 feet further down. Almost immediately my bobber went down. Fish on. The look on his face was priceless. I almost felt sorry for him. Two seconds later his bobber went down. We had a double-header. His fish started down river and mine went up. As we crossed each other I went to high five him but he wouldn't let go of the pole. It was his first Steelhead and he didn't want to take any chances. I landed and released my fish and a few minutes later he belly slid his up on shore, threw down his pole and pounced on it like a cat. He pinned the hatchery hen to the ground and wouldn't let it move. If I only had a video camera.
Mark
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Doug-from-wa posted 03-09-2000 10:17pm
Sorry this is a Bass story but hope you get at least a giggle! I was fishing Toledo bend in Texas with a buddy of mine. I was right at the end of a cast and had 11" of line out (yes inches not feet) and looked up to spot a new target to cast at. All of a sudden WHAM, just as as was lifting my lure a three pounder hit it. With lightning reflexes I set the hook, and HARD! I didnt even have time to think about it.So this poor fish flys straight up in the air to my right at about a 45 degree. The momentum carries the fish all the way around me and the fish slaps my buddy right in the back of the neck with smack loud enuff to hear for a good 100' feet away. It was the funniest thing I ever saw (and heard) in my life time of fishing.
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RT unleeshed posted 03-10-2000 01:37am
Before I could afford a real jetsled with a real jetpump back in the 70's, I purchased the "poorman's" version. It was an extremely light 15' Koffler experimental flatbottom sled (a forerunner of the Koffler Lite Kenai R. sled). On the raised transom I mounted a 20 hp Merc.with a Riffle Runner. These were a large strong tunnel housing attached to the cavitation plate so the sled could run 6" shallower. I had installed a different prop pitch so that it's "out of the hole jump" was strong. I had run it a couple times just fine with a friend in the front.- I parked it at his cabin on the Clackamas R. & I invited my brother & another friend to Steelhead fish the next morning. Before starting I told them to wait while I run a couple laps around the large hole to warm up the motor; while secretly planning to impress them how quick it got on plane with only one aboard. I definitely impressed them! I slowly built up my circling speed until I had a pretty good sized wake going. As I approached it I slowed then gunned it right as I hit the wave. I knew this would bounce the front end up a little, but I'm at a loss to describe the feeling that would follow! Right as the front end started up I hit full throttle. At the same time the Riffle Runner's front lip scooped water, tilting the prop outward & upward, which with no weight in the front of the boat caused it to do a near vertical "wheelstand" right out in the middle of the Slab Hole!! At it's zenith I thought it was going to do a running backflip! Because I had left my my tackle box open I sat there as stunned Steve with a couple spinners hanging on the brim of my cap. Wow! I putted over to the cracked up pair & just said "ready?". NO... When I added a real jetsled to my driftboat a few years later for fulltime guiding, I remember thinking to myself that it would have made a great Candid Camera stunt if I had kept that boat, perfected the one man wheelstand trick, & meet new clients at the boatramp to watch my "warmup act"; then come back to them & say something like "dang, it's a little jumpy this morning but I think we'll be alright". - Steve Hanson (RT)
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RT unleeshed posted 03-11-2000 02:17pm
I hope crappy stories are OK on here. - I was fisin' out of Depot Bay for silvers one summer in my former large open V-sled. Along with several other sport boats we had followed the Charter boats out to the hot spot, so there were a lot of people around. As nature would have it 'ol number 2 pulled into the station (or should I say the staging area). I had one of those aluminum framed plastic toilet seat camping potty chairs & a 2 gallon vinyl bucket for the cause. The problem was that we were in a hot bite, so I held off as long as possible. That turned out to be a mistake because- how can I put this delicately- it sort of packs things in the staging area & makes things harder to work out (was that OK?). We finally had to reel em up and I ran out a ways to where I'd feel comfortable. The adventure began when my buddy Chris let out his plugcut & began a wide circle back toward the bite. I chirped about it but he just said to hurry up. I was trying. Wouldn't ya know it..2 charter boats had made wide turns & were headed our way. It's hard to talk my buddy away from a fishbite so he just kept trolling straight- laughing all the way. I tried harder; while leaning forward to coverup the best I could. The "golden Kodak moment" came right between the 2 charters. We hit a wake such that the rocking bent the dang weak potty legs & I crumbled down on top of it all. Yes, most of about 30 peole saw this. Chris was cracking up so hard he couldn't talk, as were many of the charter fishers. I'll leave the rest of the story to your imagination. - Steve
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Big Jim posted 03-13-2000 03:19pm
This did not happen to me, but I saw it. During a combat fishery at Hoodsport one year I saw a floattuber and a banker both hook the same fish. Neither knew the other had the same fish. When the banker finally got the fish in he saw what happened. He motor hooked it, the floater had lipped it. That poor fish didn't know whether it was coming or going. Both guys thought they had hooked Mody Dick. That was funny.
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currentdrifter posted 03-13-2000 07:02pm
Perhaps the best stories are with, or about a great fishing partner. Mine is my wife. Fishing big chinook in the Queen Charlottes. Hooked a big one. And it began to run. Two and one-half hours later, the fish had been brought to the boat three times - just out of reach - and for good reason - it was foul hooked in the tail. Try that on, in twelve-foot seas and twenty-knot winds, drifting toward Tokyo in a sixteen-foot skiff. Later, the map tells us we were towed two and a quarter nautical miles! We were tired. My new captain (she had never manned an outboard before) was doing great - steering into the swell, reversing and going forward to catch up with this great fish. Finally, (on 12 lb Maxima I might add) the big fish comes along side. I raise the rod as high as I might, and my beautiful other shovels the big stainless steel net deep into the green sea. She scoops and raises the net high! No fish. But I spy my two black hooks dangling in the net! Exhausted (remember 2 1/2 hours!) I drop my $ 300 Loomis rod and $ 120 direct-drive reel, pick up the net, go to the side of the boat, and eye the largest living chinook I have ever seen - 42.5 lb - beside her self, serene, or just exhausted floating like a lost piece of driftwood in this big sea. She (the chinook - but this could also describe my beloved little one) just simply lays there. I scoop her (the fish) out of the white-topped waves - and we, all three, go home spent of even spoken word. I will never forget the great fish, the battle, and lingering spasm on the floor of our little kicker boat. Yes I have had thoughts of her swimming free (or being released) but now just remember the bright, silvery reflection she made while we headed home into the sunset. Both my partner and I laugh about this one on occasion, especially after a great martini sipped in reverence to good fishing, wonderful partners, and the lasting memory of this true great sport.
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CedarR posted 03-13-2000 11:24pm
Here's a SHORT story. I was shortlining from a rock. Steelhead hit in close. Set hook so hard I fell off rock and landed flat on my back. Looked up and saw steelhead was flopping on the beach, also. Total time from bite to beach, about two seconds.
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Duck In The Fog posted 03-14-2000 06:01am
Night fishing and my buddy's rod gets pulled into the river. No back up rod so he watches me fish. 30 minutes later we notice a fish half dead floating on top. We get closer and it has a plug in its' mouth. Buddy grabs it, hand lines in his rod and reel. Fish was clipped so we kept it.
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Scott Doherty posted 03-14-2000 10:38am
A few years ago I was fishing Blue Creek on the Cowlitz where the stump used to be, it was just turning daylight on about a 30 degree day, the guy standing next to me sets the hook on a fish and his feet went right out from under him while he's about thigh deep, he fell straight back and went totally underwater except for the hand holding the rod, he gets to his feet and lands the fish, he then stripped down to his shorts and hiked out.
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Fishtick posted 03-18-2000 01:45am
I don't approve of this but it was funny in a sadistic sort of way. I used to fish with this guy that on freezing days around Feb. would kill spawned out hatchery steelhead, pour extra water on them, and stick them on frozen windshields in river area parking lots or even back in town. Then would watch flabbergasted guys try to scrape steelhead popcycles off their windshields.
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LB posted 03-18-2000 09:39am
All of these stories are really great! lot's of laughs. I was fishing with my three sons on the Vedder river in Canada this last October for the famous "White Chinook". We were there for three day's and had a great time, caught a lot of fish too. One area we fished was quite narrow from bank to bank and people were getting lines tangled from one side to the other and this guy next to us got tangled with one on the other side so he let's the other guy reel in to untangle the mess. Ok here's the fun part, the guy on the other side, along with a couple of his buddy's blocking the view hooks the guy on our side into a dead chum and pushes into the water. Well this poor guy thinks he has caught a fish and play's it for all he's worth. The dead chum is rolling around in the current and he's yellin' "Fish On-Fish On" and I got to admit it looks like he's fighting a live one but when he finally get's in in, it's this skanky, stiff as a board chum which no one even wants to touch! What a hoot! everyone had a real good laugh, especially the guy's who did it to him. They had been smokin' pot all morning and fell over they were laughing so hard. The guy then turns to me and says "Hey, I think they did that on purpose", which made it more fun!
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a. d. pose posted 03-18-2000 12:34pm
One from the history books. Summer of '84, Lake Washington. Sockeye season. 604,000 record return count. 6-fish limit. Fish everywhere. I had been doing quite well for a guy in a 12' lake boat and little motor. There was every kind of watercraft out there vying for these fish. What a zoo. A friend of mine from a local dart pub saw the news clip and wanted to go with me, and we made arrangements. After launching at dawn, we made our way to the area where I had good success. My partner turned out to be quite a coffee drinker and we all know what that does to you, but I had it covered, a simple tin can will do. Within an hour I had already landed two fish - 0 for John. He had'nt had a single bite and we were rigged identically. After two more cups of coffee he announces he would like to return to the launch to take a leak. I refused. "Are we not men? We're too slow and too far out. Use the tin can." Apparently, he had an aversion to such activity. All he had to do was kneel down at the bow and take care of business. After holding his water for sometime, he could not take the pressure any longer, and moved to the bow, tin cup in hand. Meanwhile, I start spotting fish on the finder, we are near the edge of a school. My rod goes down. I set my hook, trying to maintain control of the boat, and stay out of everyone's way. John's rod goes down. He's at mid-steam so to speak. I yell at him to grab his rod. He makes an attempt with one hand, leaning backwards. About this time , we're struck by a wake of another boat causing John to lose his balance falling backwards, spilling the contents of the can on himself and his possessions, still sraying like a fire hose from all the coffee he drank. By the time he got to his rod, the fish was gone, and he was very upset because I was laughing at him so hard, he lost his first opportunity and the fact that I got another fish. Eventually, he did get a couple of fish. The moral of this story is that it's better to get pissed off than pissed on, but I guess it just wasn't his day.
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RT unleeshed posted 03-28-2000 02:54am
Good stories! Some will make it into the REEL TRUTH fishing book being written this year. If you don't mind your last name being published also, send me an e-mail to ReelTruth1@home.com . Thank you all for the laughs! - Steve Hanson
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[ 10-29-2001: Message edited by: RT unleeshed ]
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