If you own a 4x4 truck and Armorall the tires.

If you don't know who Peter North or Jenna Jameson is.

If you've ever been in a Mexican standoff at a 4-way stop and not charged through the intersection cussing.

If you've ever waited more than 2 minutes on hold.

If you've ever turned down head.

If you are religous.

If you are ugly.

If you are fat.

If you live with your mother-in-law.

I told you, you ain't my type, twinkletoes!

Watch it, Ichy, or I'll sic churchgoer on you.

havin' a rough day, Sol?

Contraire, bro, I'm at the top of my game. As always.

I ain't afraid! I KNOW people in Poulsbo!

I guess I still haven't figured out just what is your game, Sol. Always looking for envelopes to push?

Pretty much. With a drink in my hand I'm bullet proof.

The inspiration for a new signature line!

Sorry I won't get the chance to meet up with you at the Westport outing. Hopefully another time, soon.

If I can return from Canada this fall without burning my spey rod in the campfire over cocktails, we'll swing some flies next winter.

You forgot one ingredient to the recipe - Online braggarts

If you're interested in continued education I'll pay your tuition to FU.

Besides, modesty is over rated.

Isn't that like number 4 on the dip-sh!t list?

You know that anyone who calls braggart on an internet board is just a non-fish-catching cracker, right?

You got me, but I don't have a drink in my hand either.

Yup, that's it. That hurts coming from the magna cum laude of DSU with honors in the browned eyed pokey.....

That's Magna Cum Loudly, dipshi%. And the Brown-eyed Pokey is a cool place to hang out if she's hot. F'ya.

F'ya too jagoff...

As long as Magna isn't what Dans nick name for you is..

Don't be mad cause your old and bfugly... It'll be over soon enough..

That's Fuc% ya, not Fuc% you, dumbass. I'll look forward to meeting you. Be sure and introduce yourself.

Anyone else want a piece of me?

HOOAAHHHHHH

Yer smart nuf ta figur it out..

F'ya anyway..

Will do..

Those kite strings you call arms look pretty scary tho... :p

No matter, I bet you'll bleed out easy.

That's a bet I'd take. Just make sure your AARP is paid up...

You can add another one your recipe.

Internet tough guy.

Jeez, I'll bet those tires on your truck are nice and shiny too?

That recipe must be one that's just kept in the family...A secret type thing...

Pmartin Armor All's his tires and was caught at a 4-way stop for a week and a half.

That was good dan, almost as funny as sol 6 packing ya..

Sol: here are a few more for ya:

If you ever asked your wife for permission to go fishing.

If you are to PC to call PMS Mad COw Disease.

If you wont go fishing on Valentines Day, her birthday, your anniversary or when her mother's visiting.

If you were ever flipped off and didn't respond in kind.

If you think fly fishermen are somehow superior to gear fishermen

If you own a French poodle or any other dog that pisses when spoken to harshly.

If you've got more posts on here than on the main board.

Damn right it is.

Sol wears a pink vest fishing...

Vedder wears bright blue waders...

Dan wears shorts with a belt and tie...

What's the world coming to? Aren't there any regular good ol' boys on the river anymore?

Fish on...

Todd

Dip$hit desserts...

1. You don't chew tobacco when you fish, and if you do, it comes in a cute little tea bags. Even worse, you cry if your buddy spits chew on the bottom of your drift boat.

2. Egg goo makes you scared...you don't like stains on your fishing hat.

3. You sit on a towel in your truck if you have your waders on and are travelling to a new fishing spot.

4. Your dog wears a sweater.

5. You don't fish when it's "too cold out"...or "too rainy"...even if the river's in good shape.

6. You need more than 30 minutes from the time you decide to go fishing to have four days worth of camping gear, food, fishing gear, and clothes in your truck, with the boat hitched up and the motor warming.

Fish on...

Todd

I thought we called a truce, Grandma?

I didn't, this time. But I also don't call friends a dip ****. You decide if you want to be one. Still not sure I trust you after you went psycho on me.

Inferred similarities where friends are concerned is humorous.

OK, I think these belong on your list:

Fishermen who drive Escalades, Mercedes or BMW SUVs.

Hey Aunty, yea for any fisherman who styles his hair, but ya' gotta' consider that all those Renton/Kent fishermen who wear their plastic ball caps backwards are required by city ordinance to have wives/girlfriends who blow dry and spray to meet the "big hair" city code (circa old "Almost Live" comedy routine).

And you realize, don't you, that a tune up has devolved into just changing the spark plugs? It's been a mighty long time since I had a rig that had points, condenser, etc., or that I had to adjust the timing on. So it's entirely possible that some of our younger, non dip-sh!ts haven't even seen a car or truck that has those parts.

Wish it was true.