Since I had to rant on Unions ( which actually do have the SUCK knob turned up full blast) I have decided that maybe I should modify my people skills somewhat. We could all learn from this... Or not
Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America,
Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred
to
as "HILLBILLIES."
You must now refer to us as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.
And furthermore ....
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
3. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR
OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
4. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
5. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
6. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY
INCONVENIENCED"
7. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
8. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
9. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
10. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY
SUPERIOR."
11. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID
GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS."
6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY
HORIZONTAL."
7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL
INVERSION."
8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
10. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR
CLEAVAGE
_________________________
Clearwater/Salmon Super Freak