A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big mega-
department store looking for a job. The manager says, "Do you have any
sales experience?" The kid says, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home in
Texas." Well, the boss liked the kid so he gave him the job. "You can
start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did." His
first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store
was locked up, the boss came down. "How many sales did you make today?"
the boss asked. The kid says, "One." The boss says, "Just one? Our sales
people average 20 to 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?" The kid
says, $101,237.64." The boss says, $101,237.64? What the hell did you
sell?" The kid says, "First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold
him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold
him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and
he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we
went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin engine Chris
Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I
took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4 x 4
Blazer." The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you
sold him a boat and truck?"

The kid says, "No, he came in here to buy a
box of tampons for his wife and I said, "Well, your weekend's shot --
you might as well go fishing."

A Pharmacist decided he wanted to take an afternoon off to fish, so he left his son to run the Pharmacy while he was out. He gave explicit instructions on how to fill orders and make substitutions if they ran out of a particular drug. Then he left for his favorite fishing hole.
After he returned, he asked his boy how things went. His son told him that everything was fine but he ran out of cough syrup, so he substituted it with castor oil. The Pharmacist was shocked and told his son that it will give them the worst case of diarrhea they ever had.
His son replied, "I knew that. That's why I gave it to them. Now they're AFRAID to cough!"

A rich lady from California, who was a tree hugger and a vociferous anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timber land in Oregon. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted to get a good view of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top, she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the lady slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her private parts.


In considerable pain, she hurried to the nearest country doctor. Being a hunter himself, the doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go into the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She sat and waited for three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry lady demanded, "What took you so long?" He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could move old-growth timber from a recreational area... and I'm sorry, they all turned me down."