There once was a guide named Bob
Full time guiding people fishing, his job
His fishing time is often spent
With a guy named Kent
Who sells tackle and rods for a job

He found a girl in Alaska named Corey
Who listened to all his BS fish stories
She set the hook in his jaw , it did sting
He got off his A*s and bought her the ring
When will kids be the next part of the story

He headed North last Summer with fever
To fish with the boys from Team Keebler
Many fish he tried to deliver
While chunks of his body fell in to the river
Then the crackers turned him in to a fish crackin believer

So here's how the story will end
Many fishermen will call him their friend
Amidst all of the Malarkey
He's still friends with Sparkey
Whose pole has a permanent bend

There was a young fellow named Fisher,
Who was fishing for fish in a fissure,
When a salmon with a grin
Pulled the fisherman in….
Now they're fishing the fissure for Fisher.


I couldnt resist posting this too:

Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place: First guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend." Second guy: "That is nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool." Third guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will remodel the kitchen for her." They continue to fish when they realized that the fourth guy has not said a word. So they asked him. You haven't said anything about what you had to do to be able to come fishing this weekend. What's the deal?" Fourth guy: "I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off my alarm, gave the wife a nudge and said, "Fishing or Sex" and she said, "Wear a sweater dear."

One more for the road:

These bulletin boards are for postin'
Tech tips, secret spots and some roastin'
When folks b!tch and complain, it's really a pain
Cause it wastes my work time I spend coastin'

There once was a writer, RT
He posted and posted and posted
He put out the fire with P
For which he will ever be roasted

Gutz I am LMAO that was a good one
:p

I once went a squiddin' with Todd,
He wanted to try out my rod,
Just as soon as he did,
He hooked a nice squid,
And then gave my Allstar the nod.

(True Story)

Nice one, Justin!!

Here're a couple for you...

There once was a guide named Justin,
And all of his gear was bustin'
Rods broke in two
Pink worms turned to goo
His hooks and his swivels were rustin'


J/K, ...still waiting for my sample pack!

Justin had the itch real bad
To catch a big nate he called "Big Dad"
He asked RT to go
But he had to say "no"
'Cuz the air had leaked out of his butt pad


Bob hooks some pigs in B.C.
Though the weather can turn quite ugly
They haul 'em right in
All with adipose fins
I sure wish that they would invite me

I guess there're still a few in me...

Fish on...

Todd.

P.S. Kid, I may have next Tuesday available to fish...whattayasay?

Todd and Gutz!

Ok, Ok, Ok...

This thread has run its course
The humor is getting too forced
Let's put it to bed,
Or leave it for dead
Besides, the laughter is making me hoarse!!

Fish on...

Todd.

Yes...

This thread is getting old
I'm willing to fold
so lets let it be
no more jokes from me
But Man.................
Todds limerics are gold....

Fished with a drone from Nantucket,
Brought a case of beer & he drunk it,
He wanted to pee in the sound,
Slipped, fell in, & drown,
I guess he shoulda used the bucket.

Foul Play on Knophish

Drone is a plaguerized term form this board. It is vintage Hawk material circa 1998.


"Drone" is a registered trademark of the Billy Bob Toe Jam Cannery and Refinery in Paducah Kentucky. Uses of the word "Drone" other than those authorized by it's founder are strictly prohibited and will be punished with Savat like kicks to your fleshy mid-section.

Sorry Hawk, Guilty as charged. I was trying to use the Nantucket limerick & keep it clean.

A "guy" was fishing from Kentucky,
And snagging ain't very lucky,
The cops came & took his fish,
Take him away was my wish,
Cuz that left more beer for me.

Keep the kicks above the belt in the flabby mid-section.