Alright..so i started dating this blonde, descent looking, green eyes, huge boobs..38ddd is plenty for me. but anyways so i started to like her she was a cool girl. but i told her i didnt want a relationship due to previous girlfriends..so things where going ok, than we went to the red sox vs mariners and stupid me left my phone in her bag...she we took a break from the game i went to get some beers and she went to the bathroom...it was taking her awhile, so i went back to our seats..she comes back sits next to me and is pissed. her dumb ass went through my phone and saw i was texting my x fiance, we are just friends, she got pissed and threw my beer all over me and said she was leaving..im like whatever so we got in the car, i sat in the back and she drove, just one of the many episodes this girl has thrown. so i keep telling her no, i do not want a relationship, she throws the i love you pitty party and ect. so the past couple of weeks she throws the whole your talking to other girls and the accusitions starting rolling. I work, go to the gym, fish and sleep. havent slept of talked to another girl..she tells me she wants to be with with me and all this horseshit. so the past 2 weeks i really have not heard from her, turns out she been seeing a guy for about 3 weeks, so how is this girl going to accuse me of talking and sleeping with other girls when she is doing it herself? I could care less but it is just one of the things that adds my miss understanding of the females on this planet...

Drama doesn't just "happen". All I know of you is from what I read on this board, maybe in real life you are more mature than you appear on here. My advice is to get some education on the how's and why's of relationships---- why they work and why they fail. It seems that you are missing some key elements to be able to make things work.

I had the perfect one with my x fiance, i guess she was the right girl and i have not found one anywhere close to her since than.

Maybe you can regail us on the virtues of a happy marriage, there, big guy!

Blades is right, there ALWAYS seems to be some sort of drama when one gets involved with a woman, I don't care what the circunstances are.

Here's a story for ya. I'm tired of the dating scene already. I called, I didn't call, I was "rude", etc. I'm sick of it. So I thought I'd try one of the escort services on craigslist, pay for sex straight up and be in and out in less than an hour. I find a pretty attractive looking chick working out of her apartment in Bremerton, call her, and ask how much for a BJ. She says $65 and I have to wear a condom. I asked how much extra to do away with the condom and have her swallow. She thinks for a few seconds and says another $50. I can't even take a chick out to a decent restaurant for diner and drinks for that, and I've done that many times and not gotten blown for doing so. Seems resonable, right?

I show up at her apartment, she answers the door, and of course I pay "up-front". She points to a nearby room and tells me to go get naked. I do so and turn around to see a 200 pound black woman walk in behind me and close the door. I've got the "deer in the headlights" look, because this chick was half whore and half bouncer. Long story short: She spent 20 minutes trying to get me off and I couldn't pull the trigger because she was so scary.

I'm convinced "drama" is unavoidable.

The famous female double standard.

Imagine being married to that beyatch.

If I ever do it again I'll do it like a job opening: Degree required, (sorry, psych degrees are a no-no.) Mental illnesses prohibited...Must Possess certain skills such as massages, swallowing, personal hygiene, filleting ability, etc. And then the weight requirements...

...Like I tell my single friends: "Yeah she's got a little junk in the trunk now, and she's got a nice couple of fun bags, but wait til that ass squirts out two kids and they swing from those mush mellons for 8 months each."

Sol--Just so you know, they never use thier own pics in thier ads.

Oh no, the ole "master bait and switch"!

The old bait and switch !!!

One of our close buddies is an escort service ranger. He has the same " its cheaper than any woman on earth " mentality as well. Over the years, he has gotten to know some of them really well so they take it off line and charge him half. Some are retired from the business and are even married now, but still have no qualms about making an exception just for him.

We had a BBQ at some friends house last summer and he shows up with one that was about 21 years old and smoking hot. As with anything in life, I spent the whole ride home explaining the whole thing to my wife, who was pissed, and wanted to know exactly where I fit into the whole deal. My exact reply was " Uhhhh, besides wishing I was him right this second.. I got nothing to do with it"..

Seems like when one of your friends does something your wife assumes that you are involved as well.

After my divorce I did the eharmony thing. Met a couple woman that were pretty cool. But, that just ain't my gig. Send 1st questions, answer questions. Send 2nd set of questions, answer question. Blah, blah, blah. I haven't even checked it a couple months and probably have at least a couple hundred "matches" just waiting to be my sould mate... Not!!

I know a few friends where it worked out well for them but manufacturing a relationship just isn't for me. So, I'm back to the old dating scene. If it's gonna happen it's gonna happen and if it isn't so be it.

The one thing I've never understood is Blades situation. All the drama. I've never had a girlfriend where there was a bunch of drama. No wackos, etc. So it makes me think that it isn't always the gals fault like some guys want to portray it. If all your dates or relationships have some sort of drama or issues could it possibly be your doing?

Last night she was 250lbs Sol. Hey I was going to keep my mouth shut but if you want to out yourself I'll help ya out with the memory department.

The 200 or 250 pounds I could have delt with if she was a white woman. I should have told her she had relatives in Africa that were starving to death.

Careful or I'll tell your escort stories....getting your wallet stolen...etc.

Define drama.. Things that don't bother me at all get my wifes panties in a wad. In example, I take things at face value, she tends to try and read something into everything, and as far as the other women I deal with she is pretty low drama.

If she asks me a question, she wants three answers. The one she wants to hear, the one she expects to hear, and the one I'm not giving . Its that last one they search for. Any married man can relate to that ( however, there are exceptions)

I was married 10 years. I suppose over time a person just gets conditioned to answering some stuff the "right way" to avoid any repercussions. Drama problem solved.

Now you got me thinking about the "in-laws". That could be an interesting topic.

Maybe you can regail us on the virtues of a happy marriage, there, big guy!


No happy marriage here, filled to overflowing with drama. Some days she has to manufacture some. I am an expert on the don'ts part of the equation.

Remember, you aren't paying her for the sex, you can get that for free anywhere, you're paying her to leave and keep her mouth shut.

It's called the Vagination Factor, and it's made American culture pathetic.

Sol, you f#$$#in' crack me up man. You are a good soul. I like your style. Keep on with the hilarious exploits and livin' life to the fullest. I espesially like the fact that you at least let Shaqwanda try to get you off. I am still laughing-T

After describing her I am just wondering if he came home with all his bits and pieces!

Best thing that ever happened to me was my wife taking my mustang ( pride and joy )to seattle while I was away and it ended up getting trashed . Now all I need to do when things are not doing good is take her out to the shop pull the cover off and just stand there.
not really the best thing but at least I can use it once in a while

You edited the wrong part amigo.

I saved her phone number for ya.

If there is one thing i realized is that you can not change a woman and for the most part i do not try. If i do not like it, i move on...but what is with females doing everything they can to try to change a man???

It starts at childhood when dad says no and they pout until they get their way. I have two daughters, I know, so don't "throttle" me for being sexest, Aunty.

Did Shaqwanda show you her ham hock? or was that extra too?

I'll save the details for the campfire, smartass. The full blown version over drinks would be hilarious. Someday I'm going to write a best seller, if there is a publisher with the nads to put it in print.

Like the rest of your gender you are genetically incapable of losing an argument or not getting the last word in so I won't even try.

According to some of my family members it is still that way in Oklahoma. My Granny always b!tched to me about my Grandpa's (RIP) family. She would say "Those goddamned stupid Okies! You wouldn't believe what the women would do down there. Now Ryan, I ain't sh!ttin' ya. We would make the men a big dinner Fried Chicken, Fried Ocra, Fried taters, gravy, dirt beans, corn bread, etc. and then we would stand in the kitchen and wait while those c0cksuckers ate their dinner and then their pie, and SMOKED THEIR GODDAMNED CIGARRETTES! Then, when they finally farted their way off to the back porch to drink we could sit down and eat the cold leftovers, and do the dishes. I told my mother in law she was crazy to do all that and she told me I would go to hell for thinking that way! Now Ryan, don't you treat your wife that way or I'll put a whuppin' on you!"

I can hear her giving me that speech now. I try to ask her about that about once a year, every time she gives me that speech I LMAO, she gets so riled up about it.

Is that kind of what you're talking about AuntyM? If so I'm all for it, it is too late for me, but maybe one of you other guys can find a girl who agrees it is her job to make herself happy and her man happy. My wife was raised wrong I guess, just another reason my mother-in-law sucks.

I like this Rocket Red guy.
Not in the Larry Craig way...not there's anything wrong with that.

I think Aunty's point was that a woman that really wants to make her man happy enjoys a throat yogurt desert from time to time. Being stacked like an Ikea wearhouse doesn't hurt either.

I think Sol needs his own forum on this board. Bob can call it: Ask Dr. Sol

Board members can go to the "Ask Dr. Sol" board for advice, answers to age old questions, etc.



Dr. Sol RULES!!!!!

This thread is cracking me up. Another vote for Dr. Sol-T

Hey Aunty,go get me a pop from the fridge will ya??

JG, if your comment is directed at me I don't have any answers to what a happy marriage is or I'd probably still be married. They were probably the 10 easiest and best years of my life, we just started going in different directions.

But, all the talk about "the drama" that every woman brings to a relationship just sounds like an easy excuse to blame the other party for a failing relationship, or one where there ARE issues that need to be overcome. Most people aren't willing to look at their own misgivings because that might mean taking some responsibility in a situation. Usually it's just easier to blame someone else.

Not sure if this is a good analogy or not. An old friend of mine went thru something like 12 different jobs in 6-7 years. Everytime I asked him why he quit or was fired he say the boss/manager/whatever is just a [censored] asshole. So, were the 12 bosses all pricks or could it have been something he brought on himself?

[censored] I would be happy with kids that slept in there own bed, and a clean kitchen.

Wholly Crap - I think I'd go Postal and kill someone if my kids were allowed to sleep in my bed. Each kid got to sleep next to Mom from the day they were born to about a month old. As soon as the "gotta feed every 2 hours" crap was over, off to their own room they went and STAYED! Ugh.

I clean the kitchen, so I'm good with that one.

I am probally the only dummmy around that has a 7 yr and 3+ crawling into bed with him every night. I think I am gonna have to find that jar my wife keeps my balls in.

Maybe Dr sol has a room I can rent.

JY

It's funny, since I moved out, my kids, now 7 and 9, take turns sleeping with their mom and the house is a TOTAL fuc%ing disaster. I go over there and wonder how the hell I lived with that woman so long. The house I'm living in now has been SPOTLESS while I've lived there, and I have the kids half of the time. I "require" them to put their dishes and clothes away and I get no static about it. It's pretty obvious to me now where the lack of discipline was coming from.

I also have a fully stocked bar, a 48" flat screen TV with 998 stations including on-demand porn. Life is good.

Thanks man, thats what I needed was a good sharp knife right between the ribs. WTF its after 5 ya got the intra net at home?

"a fully stocked bar, a 48" flat screen TV with 998 stations including on-demand porn. Life is good."

Sol, you just keep cracking me up; . . . on demand porn. I'd think my life was so boring in its moderation if I wasn't so happy with it the way it is. I tried porn, but after a few videos I found it even less interesting than watching spectator sports. I'd rather do what I can myself than watch someone else, no matter how good at it (sports or sex) they are.

Enjoy the middle age dating scene. After I got over the initial oddness of dating again, it was a lot of fun, except for sorting out the borderline psychotics from time to time. Now I know I don't need that kind of excitement in my life, even if the sex is the craziest.

I heard this on howard stern a few years back and i agree with it to some standards. If a female is raised with the abscence of their father than the boyfriend/husband suffers. If a male is raised with the adscence of there father than soiciety pays. I agree...One of my X's ashley from Oaklahoma was raised without her father and she flew over the cockoo's nest more than she should have and i had to deal with all her b.s


62' Flat screen, 400 disc dvd changer 50% porn. On demand as well...Life is good...

OK so hear this one....So im at work and that crazy big tittied blonde textes me. saying something about a comment that i left on this smoking hot girls profile from cali. i asked her when she is going to invite me down to cali, and she she responded whenever you want to. So this crazy girl texts me saying WTF why are you doing this...IM like WE ARE OVER! DONE! GOODBYE! and i tell her go be with you new boy and have fun and have a great life. So she texts me back "I LOVE YOU" and i stopped talking to him. WOW can this girl her head on straight? and she throwng a pitty party right now saying i hurt her and all this crazy b.s. WHATEVER i do NOT CARE...see the funny thing is that this girl was just a rebound from this girl that really threw me for a loop and hurt me, and i have been the biggest asshole, jerk whatver you want to call it to her and she still keeps coming back. I can not get rid of her...Has not been the first time this has happened but like i tsaid im not a jerk to girls...but like it say once a girl has taken a ride on the BLADES EXPRESS they sure as hell do not want to get off. I have not slept with this girl in like 2.5 months?? WTF what is she thinking?

iI take it back about the Tackleberry comment I made..... Merg! is that you?

Sol you kill me. Don't go vapor locking with a 250# hooker in the room! I'm with Parker, bring on the Dr. Sol!

Call Yoko Ono, she has a jar she's kept John Lennon's balls in since 1970.

Maybe it is the merg, he's just been lifting weights. I have to admit the mergs post were slightly entertaining. I wonder if he will ever come out of hiding. Between Blades and Merg think of all the hot chicks we could get to go fishing with. The possibilities are limitless.-T

I stand corrected!

On thing i noticed about the west coast more so than the east coast is that over here there are so many hot chicks that love to fish! In new england is a different story they dont even want to touch a worm..well except for one...anyways i have met more hot girls here that like to go fish and want me to take them out fishing than anywhere else..

Wow.
I just watched Flight 93? on HBO and now this.

God save us it is the Merg reincarnate!!!!

sad but true, it is the second coming. Just look at all the signs.

The "BLADES EXPRESS." That's funny, blades. It's a quick trip, is it?

Behold, the Merg on steriods.....with a badge.

That's pretty funny. The difference between Blades and the Merg is Blades asks for advice,Merg gives it. Combine the brawn with the brains and you'd have one dynamic duo!

gawd...should i even step into this one? i will probably get yelled at...lemme read some of the PP responses first...

( on knee's, bowing with hands outstretched)


i have never met you but you are awesome!! in a manly love kinda way

alright...well blade...my friend Ian and i have this exact same scenario play out every single time we hang out with a chick and take the step towards screwing or are currently screwing.

The key is to start out by saying your not in it for a relationship when you first meet them...in the first 5 minutes of "question and answer" time

then when the subject comes up...its all a matter of her testing how much you believe in what you say you believe in. Stick to your guns, be confident , shrug your shoulders and get that look on your face like " ummmm...didnt we have this conversation?" it will be brief and short...wether she swallows it...or you move on...plain and simple. The key to this is BELIEVING it yourself...that you truly are in it for the fun and no relationship...if you slide , or start getting that " i am into her a little bit"..even a touch!!! your hosed, she wont swallow it and you will have to move on to the next F**** buddy...big deal.


That being said, to avoid un-needed confrontation i like to keep all my dealings seperate. So if i am hanging out with another girl later or am going to do something else, i dont lie...but neglect to drop names or genders. "just hangin out with some friends..why? what are you doing?" when your really going to nail your other f-buddy, or hang out with her at the bar/house/ etc.


THE WAY I DEAL WITH IT:
now if your exact scenario came up....that sucks...because you have to take drastic measures which will ultamitely lose her as an F-buddy. Oh well. Tell her she is pyscho for going through your phone, tell her she knew you were only in it for the fun, and tell her that when she wants to be a normal sane person to call you up. tell her she is just like every other girl and your tired of it. delete her number. Your looking at about a 20% call back rate i have found.

THE WAY MY BUDDY IAN DEALS WITH IT ( better results but not my style)

He sits them down, describes how his divorce has left him a little gun shy and that right now that just isnt an option ...period...then he will say if the sex thing is a problem...you can only be friends or she can choose to not hang out with him if its to much ( yeah right, like any women would actually exhibit self control and NOT hang out with him pshh) He also tells them that he DOES hang out with other girls and he just doesnt want to be tied down ( notice he doesnt say he SCREWS other girls..) and if the other women thing is an issue that they probably should not hang out.

" look amanda Ive told you before...your a great girl i just cant be tied down. My ex-wife treated me like garbage and i am not ready to put myself in that kind of scenario again. I am just out to have fun for a few years and live my life that i didnt have when i was married. If thats an issue then you certainly dont have to hang out with me. Your fun and attractive ( he smiles and throws in some flirt touching) and thats why we hang out. I just cant give anything more. sorry ( at this point he does the shrug shoulders/look )"

the key to this approach is the follow up. You then act like this conversation never happened, call her less, and pay a little less attention to her while she processes this in the next day or to. She'll go to all her friends and talk about it. Go on as if nothing happened, she will get right bachk to where she was.

Ultimately your on a downward spiral with 90% of women. you will start to have this conversation more and more and have to get very strict with her eventually...alas..all is not lost...give it a month break, dont return her calls for a few days and BOOM shes back in the saddle for a few more months.


now remember , He's straighforward and nice about everything but VERY VERY assertive..i have witnessed this conversation many times. Its dyn-o-mite!!

which is why i have three or four all the time, and they constantly cycle out...but the funny thing is, i dont care, which is the true ticket....aloofness, ambiguousness ( big word, stay with me ) thats the total key. You always need to be the busy one, the one that doesnt care if it happens or not. having more than one helps with this atittude until you get good at it. Then its all a matter of which one you want to call. If you do find a cool one. stick with it, ditch the other two or three for a bit ( drives them crazy) if it works out...it works out...if it doesnt...it doesnt. Make them work for it. If you maintain the aloofness and ambiguousness , it will come across to them that they have to work for it...that you are setting a bar they have to step up to. When you set expectations early on and stick to them, women will rise to those expectations. If they sont ( Aunty M is going to chime in about that last bit) then ditch them, or have fun with it. who cares!?!?!? the total key!!! I have turned church girls, pastors daughters, virgins that were 23 and 24 years old, married women ( not in the last two years, i raised my values a bit) ones that have boyfriends, mormons. You name it...they all do it. You just have to stick to standards and expectations that you set in the beginning and they step right up and do their best to conform to them. then see how far you can push it. you'll know the day you meet one thats worth it...she'll beat you at your own game...and then its on like DOnkey Kong.

So when they get weird i ditch them. its so fast and complete they miss it in their lives and end up calling me again, SOMETIMES ITS A YEAR LATER OR MORE!!!!

oh man...these two girls i got going right now...one of them has the 8 or 9 body but a 6 in the face...no worries ..she is a FREAKK!!!! girl could suck a golfball through a garden hose!!! doesnt want to stop!! begs to do it!!! calls me up and wants it all the time. she asked me if i liked her or just liked screwing her 5 times a day you know what i said...thats right...screwing she laughed !!! I said i had'nt decided if i liked her yet...but until i know...the 3 or 4 BJ's in a day are right as rain!

DiRECT COPY AND PASTE FROM MYSPACE
so i know how much you love to plan and all...except for when it comes to putting it in the butt...but i was just wondering if you wanted to plan a little get together. maybe like a picnic or a walk on the beach or something exciting like that we could even hold hands if you wanted. or not. or we could just do it. i'm really f-in horny. i need some headpoundingoncinderblockwall sex. i'll even say please. but not thank you. until then, i'll just be sitting around looking at my phone, waiting for it to ring just to hear the sound of your voice. its music to my ears. i hope we start yelling at each other at 2am again, it really gets me goin.

hahahahaahahahahahaahahh i cant make this [censored] up!!! thats the way it is!!!


no worries mate! millions of girls out there...but theres only one of me! and only one of you! let them fight over who



yes i am sick....i am aware...but ignorance is bliss as they say


next....

Wow! Dude your like Beetlejuice or Bloody Mary, we say your name three times and poof! You appear.-T

if they utter it....i will come

GOD SAVE US!!!!!!

What does you screwing your buddy Ian have to do with this?

RVW

hahahahaahahahahahaahahh

Fuc%in' dude annoys the shi% out of me.

that is my goal Sol...i wake up in the morning wondering how i can annoy that crusty old Sol. Usually i can just throw up a "hahahah" and he comes out of the woodwork like a grizzly bear thats been shot in the ass....but this time i thought i would be suttle and work in some info to really get the old codger goin. its a tough job...someones got to do it

Old codger, ehh? I'm 42, and I guarentee I can out fish you, out run you, out drink you, out fuc% you and generally just beat your ass.

Sounds like Sol is challenging Merg to the PP decathlon. I don't know how you judge the out-f#$%ing though. Is it quantity or quality?

Bring on Shaquawnda and time 'em....the first one done wins.

He goes first. Can you say "Fear Factor"?

Are you sure? Sloppy seconds folowing the Merg.....damn SOL you're one sick SOB. lol

It got your back sol this kid aint nothing!

its on like Donkey Kong!!!

rules are....

1. Has to be less than 15 lbs overweight...(a blind leper could screw fat chicks)

2. Can not be a previous lay...(anyone can dig up old meat)

3. legal age

4. Documented by another as "finished the job"

5. No hookers, prosty's, hoppers, poppers , or any other sort of "pay for play" girls.....or guys ( that last bit is for you Sol)

6. No more than 25$ can be spent in a night on anything for the girls. This is about skill not number of drinks ( your game is dwindling Sol)

7. No party favors....

8. A threesome counts for triple, a point for each lay and a point for being able to pull a threesome.

9. has to be a set amount of time with a months notice.

10. BJ's count as half a point.

11. It does not matter what she looks like if you follow the weight restrictions. Although photographic proof of said "lays" needs to be provided at the end of said competition. But will not be posted on the internet. three judges will go through each and award bonus points where they see fit for such things as

-super hot chick
-naked photos ( consensual sol....has to be consensual..i could just see your photos of girls running out of your bedroom and you catch a blur of a nipple as she see's you whip out your camera hahahah)
-location of said lay
-speed of lay

i am sure i will think of more


i have done this once before...i lost. it was neck and neck 7 to 7 on day 6 and then he pulled a threesome ...even though one chick was a previous lay...i gave it to him. mad props for hot chicks on one dude

i have a deficiency when it comes to finishing fast. i can never go less then 15 minutes.

Merg,

Grow up.

How about the 'roid and SOL get it on together and call it a tie....BJ's count as 1/2 a point and full on anal gets 3 pts.

I don't need or care for proof just the two of them conceding it happened.

New friends are HARD to cum by.

Well on the fish part, Sol is the king. I have seem mergs fish porn. Sol's is 100 times better.

I am thinking that the youngster might have him beat in other areas.

Merg......you need

i am a sick man...been when the sickness becomes your life is it still a sickness ...or a way of life ??

Sol's wine has turned to vinegar and the cheese has a little mold on it.

I figure Sol will just knock Merg down, go up in him, and end the contest right there.

did you say boy butter

Kinda like Sam Kenission Humpn the dead

I'd rather rap the whole controversy up with a right-cross, I not motivated enough to prove myself to anyone but me anymore. And, RvW, I'll take special pleasure in making your aquantaince one of these days. You annoy the shi% out of me too.

Someone please give Merg his Ritalin.

SOL---I don't think your "little man" complex could fit through the doors of the places I hang. But it is fun laughing at you and merg.

Does anyone want to pitch in so they can get a room?

Sol isn't old and he isn't little. I'm six foot and he looked down at me.
(Hopefully not upon me however)

footinmouthheadinassholewhatyoutalkinbout?

Marcel Wallis - Pulp Fiction

That's a lyric in Tool's song, The Pot. Killer song.

Greatest movie of all time. The only way it could have been better would have been some type of Clint Eastwood appearance. How cool would it be to hear Clint call somebody a Motherphucer.. and then maybe kill them

If you like pulp fiction, you'll love this

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=4381446

Watch the elevator scene at the end of "In the Line of Fire." He calls John Malcovitch a mutherphucher and then tosses his ass through the plate glass window where he then falls 20 storys to his death.

My favorite Eastwood movies are the old Sergio Leone westerns.

"See, that's what I came to talk to you about. My mule got his feelings hurt when you all laughed at him. He get's the crazy Idea you're laughing at him. Now, if you appologize like I know you're going to...............................<insert 5 dead dudes here>.

I always wondered if anybody else got the enjoyment out of that line that I always did.........and now I know.

Those Baxter boys should have just apologized.

I like Ramone in that movie, too.

"The American is fast with a gun, but he is also smart, and that makes him too dangerous for you I think my brothers."

That's funny shi% right there.

"Nothing like a nice piece of hickery"

" what took her so long to get mad " High plains drifter

"What's wrong with this wreck, we're getting gassed back here." Thunderbolt & Lightfoot

True Romance.

"...........'cause you, well you're part eggplant"

Hopper. So cool.

"I haven't killed a man in 7 years...till today." Walken is awesome, too.

???

Holy crap! Classic Blades, Merg, and Sol all in one thread. Definitely a classic in my book. Thanks f4b!

Ike

Well, there you go. Stupid you got yourself in trouble. You gotta be more careful, man!! NEVER let your woman have access to your cell phone, email, NOTHING!! Even if there is nothing there, she will find something that she can twist into something just so she can rage out a bitch fit. They have a quota to meet each month.

... Or facebook. You don't want any lady friend knowing that you've been corresponding with anyone from the past. They will have a freak out.

lord i hear yah!!! things go ugly fast...

When I first signed up for Facebook...that happened to me within one week.

Lame.

Fish on...

Todd

I think that's the tune the chick was humming when she was reading me the riot act...though it came out more like a scream, than a hum.

Fish on...

Todd

Logging onto FB usually means "Who the fawk is ______?!?".

And then the ensuing bicker.

This week I was friended by 5 separate "Mesojedniks". Go figure.

They're everywhere...hide your women and children!

Fish on...

Todd

What's with people's attempted befriending on Facebook if you don't even know them.? ..And even worse, WTF is up with all you people I know becoming friends with people you don't know?

Mesojednik = Some obscure family that originated from Slovenia. Same place my grandfather came from in 1907. They specialize in banking and killing. Not necessarily in that order.

Heard they are bacon hoarders too . . . . . .. . .

WOW...what a great resurection!

This thread has been an entertaining read, cover to cover. Outstanding work by all involved. To detract from the quality a bit and bring this thing back down to Earth, I have a couple of thoughts:

1. As good as this thread has been, it could benefit from participation by at least a couple more females. This thread has all it needs to appeal to men (female bashing, reassurance from other man types, prostitutes, threesomes, promiscuity contests, pornography, Clint Eastwood movie lines, invitations to a scrap... the list goes on and on.) Aunty provided a few good shots on behalf of the fair sex, but she seems to be a bit too sympathetic to the male cause to comprehensively represent the female contingent. Of course, one reason there wasn't more female input might have been that there are only a select few females I know of who are members here (even fewer of whom dare to frequent the Dark Side), but....

2. What makes relationships difficult to maintain in the long term (and sometimes the short term as well) is the set of fundamental differences between men and women (Fellahs: Do not use that line as justification for any behavior that can honestly be attributed to nothing more than your being male - unless you do want to fight). The one thing we all have in common is that just about everything we do in our lives is centered around sexuality. Men are driven by their innate desire to spread their genes as far and wide as possible, while women are constantly seeking the ideal genes to seed their progeny. As honorable as it is for a couple to keep a marriage intact until death do them part, the work required goes completely against our nature. The reason adultery is so prevalent in human societies is that it is more natural than monogamy.

3. You gotta love Clint. All the lines referenced here are great ones. One that is perhaps a bit more obscure and I really like is the line from The Eiger Sanction where he takes a good-natured stab at his nemesis. I can't recall the whole line, but it starts (paraphrasing) like this:
Pope, you're an a$$hole. Now you can't help that, but....
Perhaps someone else recalls that line and can finish it for me. All I know is that it puts me on the floor every time I hear it.

that is why I have steered clear of facebook

Monogamy is common in the wild, but life long monogamy is not. It's a survival mechanism for protecting young. Believe or not, in most species, the female is the promiscuous one. For many years it was believed that the male was (in nature), because it fit with the male domininant norms/traditional thinking. In the wild, a female can benifit her fitness the most when she is socialy monogamous, but sexualy promiscuous, therefor secret sex lives take place with many species. Multiple partners aid sperm compitition and promote genetic diversity, while monogomy aids the purpose of rearing young. There was a study with ducks where the more males she porked, the more eggs there would be in the clutch. This has been noted in many other species too. In our close relatives, the chimps and bonobos, sex is practicaly a form of social bonding. But then again, gorilla males have harems and will sometimes kill babies to win over a mate.

I think being pussy whipped is just a survival mechanism.

Praying Mantis females will rip the head off of the male and eat it during copulation. When it is done, it will finish him.

I get into enough trouble browsing FB, on my kids account...

Between PP, Ifish, Steelheader.net, and Youtube my times taken.

Mf

Believe it or not, Darwin didn't study sexual selection that much. He didn't write about it because he didn't know about it- he didn't assert a knowledge that wasn't there. He did take note that some barnicle species that he orginaly thought to be A-sexual, did have males, they were just microscopic and basicaly spent their life as a sperm factory. I did learn this stuff from a college course in evolutionary biology that I took last quarter. If you would like to dispute my thoughts, here's an easy read:

bump

Cool.

bwp:

I'm no psychologist, but I was taught what I believe to be a few very basic human truths by both college professors and life experience. Perhaps I didn't elaborate as much, but what Jgrizzle posted meshes with some of the basis for my assertions. I was making a generalization, which is why I kept it short and sweet.

Note that I understand there can be exceptions to general rules, and you may well be one for all I know. Sadly, I can't make that claim myself. Most of the stupid things I have done in my life can be attributed at some point to attempts to woo or somehow impress females.

And, lest I forget, I could be wrong. My brain ain't what it was before I went and got pussy-whipped.

A Truly Wonderful Short Story!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One day, long, long ago, there lived a woman who did not whine, nag or bitch !


But it was a long time ago, and it was just that one day.


The End

"One day, long, long ago, there lived a woman who did not whine, nag or bitch !"

That was Eve before she learned to speak.

As you whine and bitch...

There was a reason for the apple.

Sol was legendary. That hooker story had me dying!!