9 Words Women Use
1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6) That's Okay:This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome'...that will bring on a 'whatever').
8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying @%#$ YOU!
9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
I got this from my wife and she told me to forward it to the guys I work with. I re-wrote it and sent it back to her, here is my version.
(1) Fine - The man is right but his wife can't admit to being wrong.
(2) Five Minutes - This is what you say when she asks when you are going to stop fishing or watching the game. What you don't specify is when the five minutes starts.
(3) Nothing - This means you are probably within reason for whatever it is you want to do and she is trying to figure out a way to make it unreasonable. Nothing means she is thinking.
(4) Go Ahead - That is all you need to hear, take off now. If you put any thought into the real meaning of that you will end up staying home.
(5) Loud Sigh - This technique is supposed to tell you that you are supposed to engage in a conversation. Don't do it, the word "feelings" is bound to come out. Once you start talking feelings you better be prepared to stay a while.
(6) That's Okay - You did it, you're off the hook! Immediately follow "Thats Okay" by saying: "I want to talk about a family budget" because she is going to try to get you to buy something for her.
(7) Thanks - This has more meaning than what it says above; you have done something horribly wrong. You've set a precedent. Now you have to reverse it, keep outside a 10 foot radius from the sink or the litter box, whatever it was you did that got the response, because now you are expected do that every time.
(8) Whatever - This means she's really pissed at you, so you should take this as your opportunity to do 'whatever' you want, I mean how much more trouble can you get in?
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: - Congratulations! You reversed the precedent you set in #7.