So I've been taking care of foreclosure properties for my bank for the past 2 years. They take them back, and then as an employee I go in and clean them up/repair them to the point where they become ready for sale. Some require heroic efforts, while others are pretty straightforward. My best results to date have been a property the bank had a loan of $140,000 on. First offer before we did any work was $150,000. We passed because the appraisal the day we took it back was for $189,000. We put $7,000 into it, and it closed on Tuesday for a sales price of $188,000. The bank now comes to me when there are foreclosure properties that need to be turned around in our area.
Without exception, on every foreclosure property, there has been, THE item.
The first property I did was a 24 room motel in Hoquiam, taken back after the health dept closed them down. While checking mattresses for suitability, with the most stoggy female banker in my bank, I found THE item. I lifted up the mattress, only to find a home made dildo. I dropped the mattress and told Janice to look away. She wanted to see what I found. Two sticks with string wrapped around them to "corn dog" size, then covered with a condom, and a ziptie and string holding the condom on. How resourceful. That was the first item. BTW, the motel was cleaned up and sold within 30 days of us taking it back. Unfortunately at a loss, but we got most of our money back, about 90%. Unfortunately the picture of that item was lost on my old phone.
The second property was a home. Guy just plain flaked. Timber related business went sideways and we got the home and 3 acres back. Cleaned up the home, and in the attic we found THE item. In a seashell covered box I found a picture of a random 30 something dude, shirtless, leaning against a tree. Long hair, 70's style, along with a sweet flavor savor mustache. Wasn't the previous owner. No idea who it was. I'll have to post that tomorrow. The 6 tons of scrap steel was a nice little bonus.
Third property was pretty sad. Husband died due to and overdose of methadone. Wife followed a few years later after retreating into a bottle of booze and a steady diet of hard drugs. Nobody in the estate wanted to redeem the property. We asked, they let it go. Trust me when I say this, but we do everything we can to not take back a property because it really is more of a pain to own it, than to have it paid off. So we clean up the property, which turned out okay. Then we headed into the shop. We cleaned it out, rounding up 2 tons of steel, and half a ton of extruded aluminum. We checked out the shop after we had it cleared out, and we noticed that there was a room in the back, about 8'x12'. We open the door, and we step into an area roughly 8'x8'. Hmmmm...... Look at the cabinet in the back of the room. open the door and we find a 4'x8' grow room, complete with electrical upgrades and venting. No plants. Inside the grow room was the item, a VHS tape titled. "My first time, volume 7." That one had me scratching my head. Think about it.
Cue the current project. Regulatory changes in Washington state directly lead to a business closing their doors. Smoking ban screwed them. Good folks, but..... We get the property back. We bent over backwards not to get this back. Anyway, today one of my buddies finds "THE item". He has worked on other projects with me, so he knows what up. He was so happy that he had found THE item. On a 12"x12" mirror written in some sort of colored glue we find this.
Speechless, as well as a bit jealous.
The next project is an old car wash. Not much to see, really, concrete block walls, crappy roof that needs to come down, more scrap steel. Might be to early to call this one but I did spy a 1986 Playboy in the maintenance room. Did you know that women had hair on their V-J-J's back then? I had plain forgotten.
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