something to think about...

i was watching a movie last night, called "Afterlife", it was a documentary on life after death, and near death expieriences... quite interesting to say the least.. over 600 people were interviewed, and each shared a pretty similar story... some had floated "above" their bodies, and were watching the events happening and such, and what was remarkable, is that blind people, who were born blind even saw things, and doctors still cant explain that part of it...

you never really think about things untill something happens, and most people think that they will just keep waking up, and keeping on with their lives as normal.. but thats not always the case, and things happen for a reason i believe... what those reasons are, i dont know, but im not one to question them either...

i do believe something happens when we die, and what that is, i dont know either, but there has to be something after this...

the reason im writing this, is what happened this morning, otherwise it would have just been another documentary under the belt, and on with the normal routine...

my GF Katie, woke up at 7:47 today, i havent been sleeping well, and i rolled over and asked her if she was coming back to bed... she said yeah, but that usually means "no, just go back to sleep"... so im kinda just thinkin and slowly falling asleep which seems like a couple hours... at 8:00 i hear this hysterical crying, and at first, it didnt click, but something was off and i immeadiately fully awoke and turned over to my GF in the bedroom door screaming and crying...

her younger brother Johnny was found by their father this morning at around 5:30... him and her other brother and dad had just spent 3 weeks up in BC fishing, and came back on the 23rd... 10 years ago, they had lost their mother to Gullian Barre Syndrome, and it rattled all of them, but i think it took its toll on Johnny the worst... he had gotten his Business degree a couple years ago, but got involved with some things that he couldnt take control of.... and it inevitably took him...now, thier family is devastated beyond belief, as its coming up on the 10th anniversary of their mothers death, and theri 67 year old Marine father, has to bury his 25 year old son...

i know how i have felt over the years losing who ive lost, what was said, what was done, ect... but this, this is truely a test for me... i have been with Katie for 6 years almost, and plan on marrying her, so she is already treated as if she is my wife.... i have never been in a realationship with someone and had something of this nature happen... i certianly know how i would feel if my brother died, but what do you say to your other, when something like this happens... this is going to be one hell of a challenge, and a test on alot of things...

one thing is for certian while you are allowed to be on this earth.. you make the most of your time, and treat others with love and respect... there may be a point in time where you may want to do something that you didnt previously, but that point in time may be too late for you to do it...

honestly, this all seems like it didnt happen, like its a dream... but i know its not a dream, its reality, and its life.... and death... and what comes after that...

this is not me asking for sympathy, as nothing has happened for me, what i am asking of you, is that you keep my GF and her family in your thoughts over this rough period... which hasnt even started yet...a situation like this will truely test your faith, and your willingness to move forward, especially when alot of bad has already happened to you previously... her family had to watch her mother deteriorate into nothing, and then their uncle passed at the UW speech a couple years ago, and now this... i especially feel bad for their father, no parent should have to bury their children.. ever... under any circumstances... but that isnt for me, nor anyone to decide, that is left to god... you go, when he says you go... you stay, when he gives you permission to stay....

make the most of your lives, tell everyone you care about that you love them every single chance you get... because at some point, it will be too late...

Amen to that. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't wish I had the chance to talk to departed family or friends.

Tomorrow is never guaranteed.

Sorry to hear man. I have lost many friends and family that I am almost numb to death and have become very desensitized to it. It sucks, but hopefully your GF has family and a good support chain that can aid her and her father in getting thru this tragedy.

When I was a kid, my Grandmother always said, "Celebrate the life instead of mourning the Death."

I'll keep your GF, her family and you in my prayers Redhook! I've been there myself having lost my brother a few years ago. It's tough.

thanks guys...

yeah Hank, this has me a bit worried in a way... anything can happen.. i just have to make sure that only good happens, and eliminate any potential badness... i think i can do it... but again, ive never dealt with this before, so its all new to me...

she has this weird dazed look on her face.. and honestly, i wish i could just change everything.. but i cant... she is going out there in a little bit, i am staying here, as this should be a time for just their family.. i just dont know what being in the house is going to be like for her... i already know its affecting her dad, as she has told me...

25 years old... way way too young...

That is rough RH, very sorry to hear.

I lost my older sister to what sounds like a similar experience. the exception was that she went missing for 3 months before someone came across her car in the woods.

Your GF will going through a lot as well as you. good luck, take care, and like Hank said, sometimes space may be the best.....

That's awful news, redhook. Expect the grief your girlfriend and her father are experiencing to come and go in waves, sometimes tsunami sized. Be there for both of them. Take care of yourself, too.

Our best to your family and friends you will be in our thoughts.

Anyone with any age on them knows this routine all to well and can attest to your pain. Try and make each and every day count, forgive easily, love immensely and treat each other well.

Fishy

i dont think its really even set in yet... Katie is acting really weird, dazed look on her face and all... she wanted me to come to the store with her before she left, so i did, we were talking about the whole situation and all... and she just busts out laughing... at first im like wtf? then i asked what she was laughing about, and it was something with her brother, she kinda mumbled it and i didnt really want to pressure her too much so i just listened and agreed....

she just left to go to her dads, i figured i would hang here and let them be together... before she left she said her dad told her he was devastated... i have no doubt that he is... im not really looking forward to how she acts when she comes home from this tho, but i will handle it like any man would take care of their woman...

ive dealt with losing alot of dear people over the last few years, but dealing with another persons loss that is of this nature, is all new to me... im usually up for any and all challenges, but im most certianly not wanting to deal with this one... i have to deal with it yes, and i will, just not liking where this has the potential to go...

i could be worrying about nothing, infact, this could make our relationship stronger, but im not her, and i dont control her thoughts and emotions... this one sure has made me think about things differently thats for sure... and we arent even 12 hours into it... what the coming days hold are beyond me... i just hope her family makes it through this... because its really going to suck when it sets in...

Actually her laughing is a good thing because it is from a good memory of her brother, don't judge her for laughing. Grief comes in many forms. It would be natual for the family to feel some guilt for thinking they didn't do enough to help the son/brother.

Listen RH, when in doubt, ask.......just be there and don't expect anything. You two will likely be OK.

Sorry for life being life when least expected....life is like that.

Listen, laugh, love and support her....she needs you.

Be there for her....and ignore all the BS about being tough. Cry, hug, support and love her....JUST be there for the stories with the family.

Not knowing the family dynamics I'll step out on a limb and suggest that you also be there (as uncomfortable as it is) for the family grieveing process. Be by her side and be a silent support for her and hers'.

RH,

Ain't none of us getting out of here alive.

Sorry for your GF's loss, presumably your loss too if you two are already a couple. I think you should have gone with your GF to her family. But that train left the station. Just be there and offer whatever and any support that you can, emotional and material. As for shoulda', woulda', coulda', it's a natural feeling, but just holds the healing back. Try to keep things moving forward if you can.

Good luck. You have one drama filled life, that is for sure.

Sg

she is doing ok i suppose... i had a gift card from when my father was around, for Dukes Chowder House, so we took a trip to Tacoma and got some lunch and brought it home...

her dad is one tough old SOB, or he is dealing with this the best he can... the dad and mother both graduated from UW, and the dad goes to every single Dawg game played... including this one... Johnny was supposed to go with him today, but obviously thats not happening.. i guess he is going with a Marine buddy of his he has known 50 years... hopefully he can still have a decent time... maybe the Huskies will even win one for him...

anyways, thanks guys, i appreciate it, as well as she does... its likely going to get a little worse over the next week or months, but its ok, its part of life... i suppose things could have been different, but it doesnt matter really... what matters is that they all come together in this tough time for each other...and ill do my best to make sure that happens...

this is a hard story to hear hook..seriously!
i wish them and you the best, yall are in my families thoughts and prayers..I know whats its like to be in that situation(hell, be liying if it wasnt a mirror of me for a portion of my young adulthood)..just keep on being a good set of ears and shoulders to support her and the rest..

remember that god works in mysterious ways and his problems in the weird mortal life are over, he can finally be free and happy