Here is a funny fishing story that happened to me just last month. My friend and I were fishing a small zipper lip in our area one night after school. We decided to take our new boat out and do a short float. We fished on down to the take-out which was about a 3-4 hour float. I hit one bright 8 pound buck in one of the last holes. I landed the fish and indeed he was hatchery so I kept it for that nights dinner. I was putting the fish in the fish box when I heard some odd noise, when I turned around my buddy had picked up my rod and tried to give it a whirl but ended up backlashing is to hell. I had to cut out most of it and respool on some fresh line. This took 30 minutes or so and by now it was getting dark. We floated on down to the take out and went and picked up our turn around rig. When we came back we were loading the boat when I truck drove by up on the road and laid on the horn as he went by. This seemed like just a friendly jesture but then he stopped and continued to lay on the horn. I didn't know what to think at this time. We pulled to boat out and strapped it down and broke down all the rods, etc... When we got up to the road I looked in the back of my truck to find the fish gone. I was pretty pissed at this time. I thought that the guy that layed on the horn was just pouring salt in the wound after he had taked the fish. I was about to get into my truck and head for home when I heard something growling accross the road. I went over there to investigate what the noise was. I then noticed this bright object in the middle of a pack of little black animals. I ran over to it and sure enough there was my fish. The neighbors had a farm and they must have had 15 of these little black rotwiller puppies that had climbed into the back of my truck and drug the fish into the feild and proceeded to yelp and paw at it. The fish was to big for the dogs to bite at but they had done a number on it with their paws. I laughed all the way home thinking how in the hell they got into the back of my lifted Chevy truck. They were only like a month old puppies or so. thought I would share that one with you. I have a few others if you want me to send them to ya.

thanks,
Andy Matthews

Here is one of my all time "Root River Drone" stories. To fully appreciate the meaning of a drone, you would have to have Bob pull up the archives on my post over a year ago.

So here I am fishing on the banks of the Root River in Racine Wisconsin, when this "drone" comes stumbling down the bank with a flyrod in hand, ready to fish a nice little riffle in front of him. There is a guy about every 5 feet, so running flyline and backcasting is a dangerous proposition at best. The shore line all the way up the hill, has brush on it, so there is a pretty good chance of getting hung up with your fly on the back cast.

Old Drone starts to false cast a few times, and in the back of his cast feels resistance. Without looking, he gives about a half dozen tugs, each getting harder than the previous attempt. On the last one, a scream breaks out($@#***FU&^C>K***)on the hillside. There, perched on the hill, hanging on to a now broken fly rod, a limb, and a rock, stands his drone buddy with a size 2 hook pulled sqaurely through the end of his nose. Blood was pouring out of this guys beak like water from a faucet. His fishing buddy is awe struck at the sight, and runs to the assistance of his friend on the hill.

In his rush, he drops his fly rod and reel, and sprints up the hill. Sad part is, that the current is now washing the rod down the river, and the only thing keeping it from getting away, is his friends nose. The guy in the river has changed priorites, and starts grabbing and pulling on the receeding fly line to try and pull his rod up river. At the same time, he is absolutely shredding his buddies nose. One of the guys on the river, grab the rod and walk it up to him. He then heads up the hill to cut the leader. He has no knife, and in order to cut the line short, he bites the hook off near his friends nose. Now it looks like Hannibal Lector making out with his next victim. Just a few minutes later, they bundle up their gear, and head to the Doc for hook removal. Another case for barbless hooks. I saw the hole thing, and was so scared, and laughing so hard, that I almost wet myself. My nose hurts when I fish that part of the river.

Another nose story. A friend of mine was fishing his 2 kids on the upper Kenai for trout with hotshots. One of the kids cast the plug but hooks my friend inside one of his nostrils and of course drives it home. Now, they try to pull it out and the boat drifts out to fast water so they must row to calmer water but the line has now wrapped around one of the oars so each time he strokes an oar the hook does a little more penetrating. Blood a pouring and screams a yelling but in the end they land the nose.
Take a kid fishing-you'll never forget it. fp

Around 25 years ago before body piercing became the rage, I was the talk of the emergency room one night when I walked in with a silver CD9 Rapala hanging from top of my right ear. I was smallmouth bass fishing at dusk in my favorite spot, and the fishing was good. One particular 2lb smallies was a leaper, and I bow to no fish! So when the hooks pulled free, I had a fair amount of tension on the line. I tried to duck but ended up with a size 6 treble all the way through the cartilage in the upper 'shell' of the ear. I was alone, so there wasn't anyone to laugh, thank goodness.

"Goddamnit" I thought, "I'm not going to let a lure hanging from my ear spoil a good fishing session" so I cut off, re-tied and kept fishing for at least another hour. The parking lot was dark when I finally trudged up the hill, and the review mirror didn't really do my new earing justice. I drove myself to the local emergency room where I was greated with stares and shouts for the attending doctor. When I saw my head in the mirror I saw why everyone was so alarmed: my entire ear was coated in dried and a little fresh blood, and a reasonable amount had overflowed down my neck where the sweat and my collar had smeared it about half way round my head. I looked like I had a gaping head wound or maybe a knife wound to the ear and neck -- all from a single puncture wound.

Being 16 I thought it was pretty cool (except my ear by that time hurt like [Bleeeeep!]). The Doc figured it all out in 5 seconds, clipped the hook and handed back the lure. Should have kept the Rapala, but back then a countdown minnow was an expensive lure at about $1.50, and I couldn't afford to retire it. It and all the other contents of that fishing vest now sleep with da fishes . . . .

Wow! Absolutely love these stories. Better response here on this BB than to our Website contest. Andy, thanks for starting a new funny fishing story thread- the other one was getting a bit long to download. Hey, I always thought that the blood/kidney of salmon/steelhead was what made dogs sick then immune, but we just got our first puppy & fishers tell me the outer slime can do it also- those rambunctious truck robber pups may get it early? And keep posting your good stories on here because I know people love the funny aspects of fishing. If any are too dirty for public posting, e-mail 'em to me; I can handle it . BTW- I e-mailed my snail mail address to you to get one of your product brosures. - Hawk; when you get into Portland in a few weeks I should get you booked into the Comedy Club here for a standup fish story routine! Thanks. Still would like you to e-mail me your name for story credit in the book (ReelTruth1@aol.com). Love both nose stories. Seems any good story involving fish, noses, and pants will always be funny! - Steve Hanson

And we talked about fishing tarpon in the Keys, and what a blast they are to catch on a fly. "Do it all winter long". Then he says, I sure am getting tired of this f**king tree behind me, just as his rig shoots up in to the heart of the limb, at mach 4 speed. All morning long he's being screwing with danger, and finally that dam tree has his hook in it's grasp. It's about time, because it hoses me every time I fish under it. I have enough of my flies in that tree to supply Kaufmans Streamborn. Everyone has to pay their dues.

"No big ass deal" he says to me as he grasps the green tree limb that is almost out of reach. "I'll just pull this son of a b*tch down, and break it off, after I get my hook" he states as he looks at me with a [Bleeeeep!] eating grin.

He now has the limb in his grasp, and stealthily removes his hook from a decent sized twig. He pulls a little harder on the limb to get more of the branch, turns his wrist hard to break the limb, then releases it to the sky like a rocket headed for the moon. Wow, there is another hook in that limb, and it found the end of his "bird flicking" finger. He too has now been launched in to space. He resembles a Sioux warrior in the middle of the Sun Dance. He is making every effort to point that finger as high in the sky as he can, because that tree ain't going to stop pulling till it rips his finger off.

Holy [Bleeeeep!], Jesus,Mary and Joseph he yells. Oh my god. I had no idea that this man was such a Christian until the tree got his finger. He is now on his eeency beency toe, trying to take evry bit of pressure off that throbbing finger that he can. I mean, this dude is balancing on his toe nails. "Get your a*s over here and help", he yells to his friend.

I'm coming states his lifelong companion, as he goes to his rescue at break neck speed with a 5 foot long limb. " I'll have you off in a minute' says his buddy, as he begins to thrash furiously at the hook, hand and limb. Prayers begin again, followed by f***ing stop, as he friend writhes in agony. Not able to look at this grotesque scene any more, I begin to pray "Oh god help this guy out", I can't take this anymore, and have to turn my head to keep from blowing chow. By divine intervention, the green limb snaps, and frees it's prisoner. His crumpled body falls to the ground in agony, then he crawls to a big rock and says "jesus, that hurt". I don't think Jesus had anything to do with it hurting, but after what he went through for all of us, I think he pitied that guy hanging in the tree by his "bird flicking finger". Peace

The tree hooking story reminds me of the time I was fishing a local stream for humpies with two friends. Fishing was pretty slow until we found which hole the fish were in and sure enough one of my friends hooks up immediately. This 5# humpy is hooked on the outside of the head and comes flopping onto the beach fresh and full of fight. Well one guy is busy admiring the catch while the other one wants the hooks out. The fish wriggles out of control and the second hook now has one of my buddies by the forearm. .... OUCH.
Of course the fish wants nothing to do with this situation, nor does my buddy. By the time the fish is under control the hook has about a half inch of forearm skin dangling past the barb. The hook had to be cut in half to remove it. This was before body piercing was cool.