"I don't usually masturbate, but when I do, I prefer this hand."

"These are not the droids you are looking for".

"i wipe my @ss and eat with this hand"

"Have you seen Michelle? I choose this every time."

"I swear I haven't Fuked the American people why'll in office". Good luck,

SZ

Sadly, palmistry is not an exact science. But after a cursory examination of our Presidents left palm I am willing to share what I have found.

1. His heart line, which is the the top line running horizontal in the image, starts below the middle finger which indicates that he is selfish when it comes to love.

2. His head line, which is the next line down horizontally, is short which indicates that he prefers physical achievements over mental ones.

3. His life line, which begins at the crotch of the thumb and then turns down towards his wrist, is long and deep which implies vitality.

4. His fate line, or line of destiny, which runs from the heel of the palm up towards the index finger, indicates to what extent a person's life is affected by external circumstances that are beyond their control.----------Sadly, in my review of leaders, past and present, I could find no examples that came close to the fate line of or beloved President. However it does seem that many amateur basketball players and bad golfers do share his fate line.

Please do not use my breif analysis to make any important decisions, always consult your Ouija board first.

"I do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter. So help me God."
















Or not...

" i swear after 2 terms I'll prove i'm the bigger dipsh!t than George W"