:p How to be a good Democrat:

You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sexual diversity.

You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese & North Korean communists.

You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUVs.

You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

You have to believe that businesses create oppression, and governments create prosperity.

You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E.Lee, and Thomas Edison.

You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and really a very nice person.

You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

You have to believe that this article is part of a vast, right-wing conspiracy.

You have to hate those dingbat playjurists.

Aunty,

DID YOU KNOW?

That would be scary if I was on weed?

Well Plunk, that seals it. I can't be a Democrat, I must be a Bush hater since I don't want him reelected. What's a guy to do? Grandpa - Sharpton in '04! We can not only get on the bus, we should be able to drive. What do you say????

Atleast with Sharpton it would be entertaining for 4 years....And we could actually blame the president for stuff that he actually is responsible for....

AUNTYM....Where have you been? In the hospital getting fitted for a full body foil protection suit?

AL SHARPTON (on weed) FOR PRESIDENT!

OK, let's all in into lockstep (I've always wanted to get into lockstep, but have never had the time).


oh and btw.......FREE TOMMY CHONG!!

(assuming he's still in prison)

Hmmm...and to be a good Republican, one must believe...

Constitutional protections for free speech are fine, as long as you don't use it to criticize GW.

If you do use it to criticize GW, you're unpatriotic.

Folks who "manufacture" hamburgers at BK or McD's are have "manufacturing" jobs.

Only you and your fellow right wingers are the "real" sportsmen.

It's only sport if it bleeds.

All drug users are evil, and ought to be locked up, key tossed away...unless you're a talk show host and had your maid lie to buy you up to 100 pain killers per day, in which case the mythical "compassionate conservative" takes the stage.

Your party holds the presidency, both houses of Congress, and the Supreme Court, and still manages to blame all of the country's ills on the other party.

Gassing your own people makes you evil and a threat to freedom and the American way of life, if you're in the middle East, but ethnic cleansing in Africa is "self-determination".

Greatly expanding the size of the government for terrorism fights is justified...expanding it for any reason in a Democratic administration is "big government" and typical "tax and spend" liberalism.

The constitutional protections against unreasonable searches and seizures protect Branch Davidians and militia groups from Pres. Clinton's unreasonable and illegal activities...but don't apply to my library habits or phone conversations because of the "War on Terror".

Conservative thought means "think for yourself, you don't need your government to do it for you"...and let's all wear "Ditto!" shirts to show our individuality.

Conservative thought means the government ought to keep a sharp eye on your bedroom, but ought to keep it's damn nose out of your gun cabinet.

Since the sanctification of marriage between a man and a woman is so darned important, you should try it at least twice (Reagan and Gingrich).

All forms of welfare are a waste of taxpayer money, unless you're a farmer, commercial fisherman, miner, cattle rancher, sheep herder, the oil industry, the hydroelectric industry, or work for a large corporate entity that gave big $$ to the Rep.'s during the last election cycle.



Fish on...

Todd