A woman walks out of a Store wearing a brand new fur coat she just purchased. Some PETA people were picketing the store with anti fur signs and whatnot. One guy agressively approached her and said "Lady do you have any idea how many animals had to die for that that fur coat?'
She said"Do you have any idea how many animals I had to f*ck for this fur coat??!!!"

LMAO proof positive that ANYBODY can have a child

LOL
thats great

Amy, a blonde city girl, marries a Montana rancher.
One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to
Amy,"The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows
today. I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above the cow's stall in the
barn. You show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?" So then the
rancher leaves for the fields.

After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the
front door. Amy takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of
cows and when she sees the nail, she tells him, "This is the one...right
here."

Terribly impressed by what he seemed to think just might be another
ditzy blonde, the man asks, "Tell me lady, how did you know this is the cow
to be bred?"

"That's simple. By the nail over its stall." Amy explains very
confidently.

Then the man asks, "What's the nail for?"

She turns and walks away, and with complete confidence, says, "I guess it's
to hang your pants on."

The place still smelled of vomit, even after all the pine-sol & mopping. But that was life on the river. All in all it had been a slow day at the Duc On Inn. True, due to its location cantileverd over the tailout below Barks hole it attracted its share or river rats & lowlifes. Today had been much like the the last week or so, typical for late Novermber. Bob Ball had been by sipping a sparkling mineral water, while his clients slammed shots of wild turkey chased by red bulls, gearing up for the drive back to White Center.

True Pat Graham had been tossed out an hour ago for pukeing all over the pool table, but then he had been thru a tough day. Knocking back 12 draft Molson Ice's in 15 minuites will do that to a guy, he was sleeping it off in the bed of his pickup.

He had lost an oar "stam style" on the upper Calawah, then having his dryrotted POS back-up snap after a few strokes. He & his cracker frontseaters were in for a tough ride, while Pat rowed his DB canoe style, pissed as all get out. Seeing the guys up front were deaf it took an hour or so of pat screaming at them to know something was up, nailing every rock in the river & spinning like a cheap ride at the fair I guess they just thought it was the way Ol' Patrick did it, and it was kind of fun


Part #2 later......

C/22

First off, I'm Polish, so I hope this doesn't ruffle anyone's feathers...
A guy walks into a bar, sits down, orders a beer... After making some small talk with the bartender he asks the barkeep if he wants to hear a pollock joke. The barkeep says "I'm Polish, and you see that big bouncer over there?, well he's Polish too.. and that other big bouncer over there, well he's Polish too, so are you sure you wanna tell a pollock joke?" The guy thinks for a second and says You know , you're right, I don't, because I would'nt want to have to explain it three times!

Dog Story

Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, Girl Poodle.

The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.

The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.

Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them, "The first one who can use the words 'liver' and 'cheese' together in an imaginative, intellig ent sentence can go out with me."

The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says, "I love liver and cheese."

"Oh, how childish," said the Girl Poodle. "That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever."

She turns to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and says "How well can you do?"

"Um. I HATE liver and cheese," blurts the Golden Retriever.

"My, my," said the Poodle. "I guess it's hopeless. That's just as dumb as the Lab's sentence."

She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, "How about you, little guy?"

The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is the Taco Bell Chihuahua .

He gives her a smile, a sly wink, turns to the Golden Retriever and the Lab and says .....














"Liver alone. Cheese mine."

Too True, KK!
Now in honor of the upcoming St Patricks Day.......
Did ya hear about the 2 gay Irishmen?.....Patrick FitzGerald & Gerald FitzPatrick!?

What's Irish and stays out all night?..Paddy O'Furniture...
Maybe that should be groan!

Blonde gets pulled over for speeding...
Officer asks for her license ..
Blonde says "whats that?".. Officer, taken aback but remains cool
calmly says "Thats the little thing with your picture on it that tells me you're qualified to drive a car". Oh, OK replies the blonde and pulls her license out , handing it to the officer. Officer then asks for her registration, to which the blonde replies "what's that?"..
The officer , stifling a grin coolly replies "It's the piece of paper that tells me you own the vehicle, ma'm" Blonde retreives the document from the glovebox and hands it to the officer, who at this time thinks to himself, this has got to be one of the dumbest blondes I've ever seen and decides to take a chance. He proceeds to drop his fly and lets it hang out through the drivers window in her face.. The blonde rolls her eyes, lets out a heavy sigh and says "Oh no, not ANOTHER breathalyzer!"

You know how to rid of crab's?





Find a c*%@ksucker that likes seafood!

" I never drink water because of the disgusting things fish do in it!" W.C.Fields

You know how a blonde 's been on your computer?




It's got white out on the screen!

Good One!

What's the difference between a tweaker and a bucket of sh*t?
The bucket!!!

What's the difference betwen a tweaker and a bucket of sh*t?
The bucket!!!!

How come little tweakers won't play in sandboxes?....Cats keep trying to bury them...!!!

1 whorehouse, 3 men....1 guy going in, 1 already there, and 1 leaving....what nationality are they?..
Guy going in, well he's a Russian... Guy already inside, ..Himalayan.. Guy leaving... He's Finnish!

What do Japanese do with erections?..They VOTE!
What do Japanese do with cataracts?... Park 'em in the garage next to the Toyota!

How did the daikon radish get its name?
Because she wouldn't get off it.
But she did "got off" from it with the proper technique
Mike