A cowboy goes into a tattoo parlor, tells the artist he wants a tattoo of John Wayne on one upper thigh, and Hopalong Cassidy on the other thigh. Not only that he wants a money back guarantee that the finished product will look like the real cowboys. Artist says, when I'm finished, you can ask anyone you see who the tattoos are. If they say anyone but John Wayne and Hopalong Cassidy, you can have your money back. The cowboy agrees, and the artist performs his work. The cowboy then proceeds oputside, where he spies a wino laying along the ditch. He walks up to the wino, drops his pants and says "do you know who these guys are?" pointing at his new tattoos. The wino looks up, thinks for a minute and says "Yea, I know who those guys are.. The one on the right is John Wayne, the one on the left is Hopalong Cassidy, and that ugly one in the middle is Willie Nelson!!