My pal Paul and I stopped at a bar after work Friday and got a little carried away with the cognac and Paul vomited on his work shirt.

Of course he started whining about how his girl was going to be very disappointed with his drunkardness when he got home. So I gave him some advice. Advice any sober person could have pulled-off.

I took the ten dollar bill he had laying on the bar and put it in his shirt pocket. I told him "When you get home and she starts nagging, just tell her an old wino puked on you, and gave you ten bucks for the cleaning bill.

Paul guzzled a few cups of coffee and hit the road for home.

Upon arriving, his gal immediately started to point out the obvious.

"Look at you...drunk, you stink and you threw-up on yourself. How disgusting!"

Paul said "No honey, really... a drunk guy bumped into me on the way home and vomited all over my shirt. He even gave me five dollars for the cleaning bill, its in my shirt pocket"

Pauls angry woman took the money from his pocket and said "You said he gave you five dollars but theres a ten dollar bill here"

Paul paused, looked his woman in one eye and said, "Oh yeah, he crapped in my pants too"